Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
loli

Couples on here with children?

This topic has had no activity within the past six months. It is recommended that you start a new topic instead of replying to old topics.

14 posts in this topic

Happy new year.

Ive been thinking seriously about my life goals and my partner and i's life goals, and children are a conversation i have a large part of anxiety about. I was hoping for some of you with children to.. i guess give me some reassurance? Happy stories ect. I have mentioned on a previous post that we were pregnant before but due to stress and other things we had a misscarriage and i have so many fears about trying again.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

loli,

I'm not sure of any currently active members who have children together. I know there have been several couples here who have posted about their children. The old picture thread even had several pictures. One of our former admins and his cousin had a son, a fine young man who graduated with honors. Several others posted either pics and/or stories of how their children were fine. I only know of one member who's children had the issues noted as being a possibility. And I don't want to make light of it in any way either. The children did have a quite serious condition. But, they were getting the proper medical treatment, and at the last we heard, all survived. She's not posted in quite some time, so I'm not sure if the effects have lessened as they have gotten older.

We always advise our members who are thinking of starting a family to get genetic counseling. We would certainly encourage you to do so. If you get the green light from your GC, we would expect your OB doctor to be fully informed, and most likely keep a close eye on your pregnancy. Do remember, the chances are high that you would NOT have any problems. The risks are the same as with an older mother, say over the age of ~38yrs old or so. Society generally accepts that risk, so it comes down to your personal assessment of whether such a risk is acceptable. As with an older mother, you would expect your pregnancy to be closely monitored. So, first things first, talk to a genetic counselor, and weigh your decision based on their conclusion. Just as we have legal facts posted on the main page, we're not lawyers. We have genetic facts posted, and links to the studies, but we personally are not GC's, and can only advise you to seek their counsel to make a fully informed decision. 

If there are members or guests with children by their cousin, please do pipe in here, and tell of your experience....

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My daughter is 8 months old and perfectly healthy, her doctor has also said she is quite advanced for her age. In the hospital when I was in labor they joked that it made it easier with the family medical history lol. There's always some risk with pregnancy with everyone, do as hawk has advised and don't let the stress get to you. Good luck :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

jasper and flash don't come around too often anymore, nor does jessie... but i've facebooked both of them and asked if they'd like to weigh in.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My name is Jessie and I married my 1st cousin Judy 25 years ago. We have a son Who as C had said graduated with honors. He has no health issues whatsoever. When he was 18 months old we where told he was "retarded" and the doctor asked me what I thought about that. I replied to her that if I was to raise him as retarded retarded he would be but I will raise him as the intelligent young man he is. The doctor's observations where due to the fact that she knew we were 1st cousins. Never let a doctor scare you into not having children! I lost his mom to cancer 4 years ago and am very thankful she wanted me to have a child of my own. He and his older sister (my step daughter) along with my 3 granddaughters are the biggest blessings in my life.

As a side note always spend quality time with one another you never know what the Good Lord has in store for your future.

God Bless and Happy New year to all of you

Jessie

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks for dropping by jessie! you should come by more often. it's been so long we apparently lost your membership in one of the millions of upgrades!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Our daughter is 16 and 1/2 years old.  We didn't have genetics counselling because she wasn't planned.  Our families did not even know we were a couple.  Our families found out just before the Montel Williams show was aired.  We figured we should advise prior to them watching.  Our daughter has known that her Mom and Dad are cousins since she was able to understand.  Our fathers are brothers.  (my husbands dad has passed away recently).  She is healthy and smart and strong and kind and she is the BEST opps I ever made.  She became the glue to our relationship.  When I found out I was pregnant a few things.  I was 32 seemed "old".  She was my cousins child.  Oh my gosh defects, what would people say, how would we cope, what had we done?  I sat one day and thought....gosh I wanted a child so badly nothing else mattered.  I did not believe in abortion, finding out I was pregnant at 3 months in...I was in.  BLESSING!  Just like any other child, cousin or not.  Her Dad and I have been together for over 17 years and we got married in 2007.  Anything can happen with any pregnancy, any baby.  You could be face to face with the absolute love of your life in just 40 weeks.  ;)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Been so long I had forgotten my user name was just Jessie. Well happy new year everyone need to get ready for a church bonfire tonight.

God Bless be sure to spend time with those you Love ..sure miss that first new years kiss from Judy.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

By the way the site looks good I'll stop in from time to time . C if you need me to weight in again on a post just IM me

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

good to see you both! and susanne (jasper) that pic of olivia is gorgeous!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My wife (first cousin) and I have two beautiful adult daughters who are both healthy and completely "normal" (whatever that means). They are both high achieving students attending an excellent private university with scholarships.  We married very young, probably younger than I would normally recommend - both of our kids are older than we were.

Do what we did and have an honest talk with your doctor. Ours told us the same statistics which now appear on this site and that was before this site (or any other) existed.  Your doctor can discuss with you any specific risk factors and hopefully help put your minds at ease.

Best wishes,

CM

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all so much. I really appreciate all this. And as for genetic counseling i already decided i wanted that done anyway. When i was pregnant before we didnt mention it to the doctor because i was terrified and people had just found out about us and were very cruel, which had me in a state of anxiety about everything. But next time around the counseling will be done and sorted first. Its just a little hard for me to tell people because while im happy and wouldnt change things at all, id rather not broadcast it out loud.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0