122107

Why oh why??

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Just a random question to all the members here. When someone is heart broken often times people tell them:

(the sweet and kind version)

There are billions of people here on earth and for sure there is one meant for each one of us. or

(the funny but a bit harsh version)

There are many fishes and other sea creatures in the sea so why love and settle with a shrimp if you can get a dolphin.

My question is.

If that's true then why are there so many people who didn't got the chance or the luck to find the one they are meant to be with? Their true love?

Some never married and grew old alone,

Some settled with someone else because they can't be with the one they truly love.

Some keep changing their partners a lot of times saying that there's something missing.

Some think they've found the one but unfortunately they cannot be with them because that said person doesn't think that way.

Some our happy with what they have but ironically they're still longing for someone else to feel that true happiness if given the chance.

And the list goes on.

So I wonder, how does it really works?

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When u find happiness, grab hold of it and put your heart and soul into it despite the fear.

And when things don't work out, or the relationship has run its course, let go gracefully and cherish the memories of the good times and don't cling on to something that is broken as creating bad memories only incurs hurt for all...

Just my two cents ;)

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one of the top reasons for some of your scenarios is that people tend to not have a clue what a healthy relationship is. and even if they think they know, they generally are unprepared for how much work it takes to make a healthy relationship stay healthy. people are damaged. and we carry that damage with us into relationships with other people who are ALSO damaged. and most importantly, people leave God totally out of their romantic equations.

now here's a concept that some here may find hard to swallow. people are also impatient. they jump into sexual relationships way too soon, which devalues the whole concept of what a committed relationship is all about. God created us as sexual beings, but said that there is a proper time for sex... and that is with the person we marry. so here's what happens. we become sexually active with someone (or a long string of someones) thinking that is how we will find our compatible match. and each time we do, we're giving a part of ourselves away to someone we aren't going to be with for the rest of our lives. it tears a part of our heart out. intimacy becomes recreational. our self esteem gets damaged more and more with the end of each romance. our ability to trust and respect members of the opposite sex also becomes damaged. we feel like something is always missing, because it IS always missing. and it's our own fault, because what is missing (real, true intimacy) is something that we've flushed down the toilet all on our own... and then we expect our new love interest to suddenly fill that void and fix what we've broken in ourselves, but they can't, because they are just as broken as we are.

and that is why God says "wait".

but God is also the great 'fixer'. if we want that broken part of ourselves repaired, then we have to learn to trust God. we have to learn to accept His love for us, because His love is the only perfect love there is. and then we have to learn to trust God to bring us the very best He has for us.... without jumping back into bed thinking we know better. because seriously... if God created us and gave us sex as one of His most precious gifts to mankind, and if God knows everything about us, every thought, every desire, then there is no way that we can be disappointed (sexually) by the person He chooses for us.

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Perhaps the notion of a soul mate is just a popular fallacy. Before I married my cousin, I had a new soul mate every year during my "dateteen" era. I am sooo glad I didn't marry any of those bimbos.

You may feel the same way in a few years.

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@LadyC

We share the same belief, I guess this random question popped up after having lots of conversation with old unmarried people.

@KC

How could you tell they were your soulmates at those times? I've fallen in love a few times before I met my cousin and I knew at those times they were not the one that's why I never took our relationship to a higher level. :tongue:

@SQ

Yes, I sometimes think that this life is actually a test for us or a battlefield to see how strong we are and our faith in God. But then whenever I think that way (which is very often) I feel like I'm being too negative or too bitter, even my close relatives tells me so. This way of thinking started at a very young age. LOL

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I guess it makes me sad how marriage and sometimes true love are slowly becoming less important in life, while cheating and divorce became the new trend. Almost everybody cheats and get divorce as if it's a very normal thing to do or to happen. I'm not judging anyone, (few people have good reasons on why they're getting divorce) it's just a lot of people do it for selfish reasons. Whenever people are having conversations it feels like everyone has a cheating experience to share (they are even proud about it for heaven's sake) and if you don't have, not even one, then you're automatically boring and too serious in life. They even influence other people to cheat or to left their respective partners, and take note, they don't see it as a sin because for them it's very understandable and it's the "new trend", that, it's how life goes so just go with the flow. They even have the guts to point fingers at others like Cousin Couples, Gay, Devoted people etc.

In my opinion (only mine), don't get married (don't make BABIES) if you're not both willing to compromise till the end, just be in the relationship until you're both sure he/she is the one. Lots of people are going to get hurt. You don't get married on the spur of the moment. Marriage is not an unlimited promo that you can purchase all the time. LOL.

I'm not judging anyone. 90% out of 100% people that I know including my family are like this. I'm an open minded person and I respect other people's way of living, it's their life but it still makes me very sad.

Old woman talking here. :tongue:

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