• Announcements

    • KC

      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

      Be informed on better ways to stay safe on the web -- Source: Mozilla
Guest D

Do U ever get over cousin love?

This topic has had no activity within the past six months. It is recommended that you start a new topic instead of replying to old topics.

89 posts in this topic

Heres a question for everyone

do u ever get over falling in love with your cousin?

or do u cross a line, and theres no going back

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Over as in over?

For me no.  It's become a part of me that I cannot get "rid" of it.  But at the same time I wouldn't want to either.  He's become such a large and critical part of me that no matter what happens this is ingrained in me.

I'd be of course devastated if we were over but then a part of me would be happy for him that he could share another woman with his family.  The cruelest part of a cousin couple has been and always been the social stigmas associated with it.

Had it not been for that, we'd have had 4 kids and a marriage as well as respective degrees from berkeley and perhaps for me cornell or berkeley as well.

Instead, we're living somewhat on a field of broken dreams.

Bah I'm getting sentimental and crying.  But the best thing is not to regret the past.  It's to steel forward and be the absolute best you can be.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree and say no. I could never imagine ever getting over being so in love if it were truly over. I have fallen so madly in love like never ever befor that i could never lose this feeling. And to even think about being with someone else.. they wouldnt be him. That make sense?? Anyhow, regardless of where life leads, i will never stop loving him or ever ever ever get over him!! I wouldnt think itd be possible.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have no idea, and it's not an easy question.

I've thought I've been over my cousin for so many times, but whenever I saw him again/heard something about him, the love was growing even stronger... :(

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm in deep love with my cousin..I think even if I have to finish our relationship neday I cant forget her.She is my first & only love in my life till now...So hard to forget her!!!!!!!! :embarrassed:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I married mine. You never totally get over a love. You will be 99 years old thinking about your cousin on the steps of the old folks home.

Isn't she smart? And hot as a fire cracker? Good lawd! What are you waiting on? And what is wrong with you?

Big up yourself. She can only say no!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Guess not, we met at the ages of 13 and 15, had other families and marriges, 38 years later we got together and now married almost 6.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In my case... definitely, crossing the line and never coming back. I dont think I'll ever get over him.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah. You get over them.  Same as you would get over anyone else.  I don't think it's that different.  There is still regret for things that ended badly, because you miss them... but I think being cousins does not define the love.  I think it's all about compatibility and the strength of the love.  That same bond can occur between non-cousin couples.  Having dated two of my cousins this is what I have found.  I have gotten (almost) over the first but I can't see how I would ever get over the one I love now.  It's so different.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well i guess thats kinda good news

In my situation, my cousin definetly fell in love with me, then she tried to deny it and hate me cause she was in denial

I think she is never going to get over it, which is good news cause i like her 2

ive tried so many times to stop liking her, and sometimes i can forget about it, and then it just comes back

i think once u cross the line, there really is no going back, u have the monkey on ur back your whole life

i know all of us on here have been in and out of relationships, etc, but something about cousin love is different

u just cant forget about it, something always draws u back, something always torments u, its like some primal instinct none of us can control

ive posted on here before, where i basically told everybody i was over her and she is nothing to me

man was that bullshit,

i think the first thing all of us need to realize about this cousin love is

once you fall in love with ur cousin, there is no going back

i mean there are alot of people on here with complex situations and comforting words to consol people

but the bottom line is

if u like ur cousin u r stuck with it

i wish i knew that before all this went down, lol

think about it though, when a relationship fails with ur cousin, it seems more personal and more dramatic then regular relationships

u feel like a failure, u think to urself, this was meant to be, and now its ruined

its like destiny exploded in ur face

cousin love the ultimate double edged sword

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes i know what you mean. I don't think I will get over her, I will always have feelings for her.

Although at the moment it's all still so fresh that i'm sure i can't make any clear comments on it. As it is right now i don't know whether she will be prepared to give things a shot between us. Time will tell I guess

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, in my case no I don't think it's possible to ever get over your cousin love. I'm not with my cousin although we talk from time to time but the bond is so strong that it's something that will never go away. I can't deny there have been times where I thought I was over him but then he would call or I would hear about him and the love just came back. I wish we could be together but he's in denial. I've lost hope but I will ALWAYS love him.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My answer to this question is also NO, my cousin love and I crossed the line 26 years ago and we were banned from associating with each other.  26 years later I still wasn't over him and the love had grown stronger for me even tho we hadn't really spoken or seen each other in all those years.  Was it one sided on my part???  Absolutely not, after getting in touch with him and talking to him we both knew we loved each other after all those years and we have reunited. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

no.

24 years after our brief relationship was terminated by family pressures and distance, she is still the only one who sets my heart skipping when i know i'll be seeing her at a family gathering. if i'm already there before her, her eye's will scan the room and find mine within two seconds. her hugs on meeting and parting always have a special squeeze at the end that keeps me protected from the irritations and stresses of life for weeks afterward.

if she ever says she loves me still and kisses my lips lightly just once, i will literally become the worlds happiest man. i'm 56.

gus

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can only respond within the context of my own situation.

Transcendent of time, distance, and life-altering events, my answer to your inquiry is no. Our feelings developed at the age of five and continually resurfaced each summer we were together, however sporadic.

Fifteen years following our last encounter, we began communicating via Facebook. I initiated contact after discovering him, operating under the misapprehension that I was "safe" from any previous sentiments. I surmised that, as adults, we would have little to nothing in common, that nothing could possibly remain of those childhood/adolescent "fancies."

How utterly and blessedly mistaken I was!

Similar to all of those other instances, it was as though time had been suspended and we had never been apart. There we were, aged 32, madly in love again despite all.

He is the only man I have ever adored--absolutely unforgettable and irreplaceable.

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In my case..bad break up...and even after he hurt me sooo bad...he is still in me and will always be in my heart...if he's been in it since childhood he'll will be in it til the end of time...I may fall in love again but I know for a fact cuz I know myself that if he called for me one day Id be there in heart beat!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think you ever get over anyone you love.  In fact I'd dare say that if you get completely over someone then you never really loved that person.

By getting over someone I mean forgetting about them to the point where you just don't care about anything in their life. 

I still keep in contact with all my ex's (lol as if it was so many).  But the point is that I loved them at one point and I'll continue loving them.  They are no longer the people I plan to spend the rest of my life with, but I sure like knowing what they are up to and I like hearing about when things are going great for them and I feel sad when I know they are not doing good. 

Has nothing to do with being or not being cousins, it's just love. 

Now if by getting over a cousin you mean get to the point where not being with them doesn't hurt anymore, then yes, I most certainly believe you can get over them.  Again just how you can get over anyone.  And I believe you can still go and develop a good friendship with someone even after breaking up. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We met and quickly started a brief romance 15 years ago, I though i've forgotten about him after I got married (I am now divorced) but everytime I see him the feelings return. It's so intense and the chemistry is so strong.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I believe the answer is no. Even though sometimes I hoped I would. Our families moved apart when I was 5 and she was 6. We reunited and fell in love when I was 18 but that lasted 6 months because of the family pressure. Then we saw each other two years later and it was as if we had never split. Dated for two months. Then we re encountered each other when I was 24 and even got engaged after dating for 1 year. We broke up, this time for good, I found out two days ago that she married in November. I doubt we will ever she each other again and wish her all the happiness in the world but it was something unique that I felt with her. It's been over 2yrs since we have seen each other and I still haven't forgotten the great memories and deep feelings I had.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In my opinion, you can get over cousin love (or love between two non-cousins) but that tension will still be there. I mean, after you break up with your cousin, its just like any other break up. The only difference is, there's a good chance that you're going to be seeing, or hearing about that person for years...and years...and years. You could try your best to block them out but, eventually, something is going to trigger your mind to start thinking about them again. From my experience, it was hell to try and forget about her. After we broke up, I was just moody all the time. One week I'd be carefree; not even having a thought about my cousin. The next few weeks or so would be me thinking about the times we had together and what/who she was doing at the moment. It sucked, to say the least.

A year after we broke up, I found myself doing great. I wasn't thinking about her, I didn't dream about her...that much  :tung: lol, she had completely disappeared from my mind. Even hearing from one of her sisters that she found a boyfriend during their summer vacation, didn't really phase me. However, when her same sister told me that my ex still had feelings for me, my heart skipped a beat. I didn't want to believe it because my ex usually lies her ass off but, her sister kept on saying that her big sister still thinks about me, and told her that she misses me. Just this past weekend, after opening presents, my ex walked into her sisters' room holding the silver koala pendant that I gave her for xmas 2 years ago (while we were still dating.) She asked me, "Do you still remember this?" All I could do was smile and say, "Yeah...I do." In my mind, I was saying, "How....how do you still...why...heh...my god. she still has it."

So from what I've written down in my post, its tough to forget about it.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I dunno, your asking on a board where most people are in-love with their cousins.

But sure you can get over any relationship, even one with your cousin *cough*.

If you asked a bunch of broken hearted cousin-lovers I would guess that you'd get different answers than the ones you've gotten here.

There is no hard and fast rule about it anyways ;)

Best of luck... Ambra

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've just read all of these reviews, and i agree with the majority i don't think you ever get over falling in love with your cousin. I cried because as with many of us things are complicated, especially at the moment. I can't ever imagine not having him in  my life, when we stop speaking i am bereft, but we always drift back to each other. It's like we can't live without each other. Unfortunately in 4 yrs of having a relationship he has never told me he loves me, he is in a relationship with another woman which he denies is his girlfriend, he feels there is nowhere to go with our relationship, but i love him, and i know i'm stupid to, but can't help it.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"cross the line" sounds so negative.

seriously, cousin romance is like any other romance. it may or may not work out, and if it doesn't, you may or may not have any "not over it" feelings when you're old and grey. i mean really.... i don't have any warm fuzzy feelings about my ex husband, and that's about as serious of a relationship as one can have, ya know? in fact, of all the men i've loved before, there's only one that i still have any lingering fond memories of, but i wouldn't want to contact him or anything. so whether or not one ever really "gets over" a relationship with a cousin or not is just as much a toss-up as whether you ever get over anyone you once loved.

as for me, i really hope i never get over my cousin. friday is our 11th wedding anniversary. i hope i'm never over him :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor