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Do U ever get over cousin love?

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Guest Shorty

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Well I I Started Fallin For My Cousin When I Was 12 And He 14 Yrs Old  And He Liked Me 2 And Now Im 14 And He Is 16 And We Still Together And Well I know My Family Will Say Something If We Tell Them So We Just Keep It On The Down Low So We Always Are Chilling And We Are Always Over His House And We Just Chill In His Room We Make Out And Yes We Have Sex Because We HAve Trust In Eachother And Well Everytime They Have PArties Over His House I Always Sleep Over And Stay With Him In His Bed And So My family Is More Connected With His Parents Cause They Are Always there For Us So i Know That I'm Never Gonna Get Over My Cousin Cause We Love Eachother And So I Believe You Cant But If You Try You Can But I Know I Cant Cause I'm already Falling In Love With Him Even More Each And Every Day

:hug:

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Guest purplexy54

that's a very good question...i'd have to say it depends on the love you have for your cousin...i'm not sure if i'd ever get over my cousin, and i'm not sure if we could ever toughen this whole thing out...deciding to take the plunge with your cousin is very bawlsey...but imagine if you try to find someone else in replacement of them...and never being able to fall in love again.

well final answer is that it depends on the way you are together. if you are dang near perfect for eachother, then its gonna be a bumpy ride you etting over her

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from where i am at the moment i would answer no.

7 months; lost 15 lbs then gained 30, severely depressed, anger spouts, enduring sadness, feelings of despair, thoughts of ending my life, immense heartache and sick stomach....please tell me this hell will eventually end.  :(

curious how some of you are fairing these days.

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i'll have to say, well from my experience anyway, yes you get over it.

i think it's all in how you look at things really (once again from my standpoint). i really loved him...truly and deeply. and while i'm not saying i don't anymore, i AM saying i don't hurt anymore...not really.  it's more like an "oh well" sort of thing.

then too i'm just too busy to worry about him. i don't have time to dwell on stuff. i remember just recently walking past a place or site where i used to sit and mourn him...really...and couldn't believe i actually did that! but did it do something to me? well yeah...a bit. but life has a way of going on you know? i'm not referring to the "life is too short" thing. rather it just has a way of going on, continuing, to dwell on stuff i can't do anything about.

anyway..."do you ever get over cousin love"? YES, YOU DO! oh i'm not talking about if something happened to him or her like death or something. that's different. but as far as a broken heart kind of thing as in it not working out? again...YES, YOU DO!

it all boils down to how you see yourself. do you see yourself as someone who needs another human being to validate yourself? or do you see yourself as someone who's special with unique strengths and weaknesses? i know you've probably heard that before but it's sooo true.

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Guest Chiney28

I agree with what the majority says here.. For me NO!!!.. May it be a good or bad break up still your cousin is still your cousin. You have a certain connection/ bond that cannot be broken. And whatever happens your paths will do cross especially if you have close family ties like us.

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Do you ever get over the feeling of being "in love"?  Yes; I had girlfriends I thought I was "in love" with but that faded away completely.  Do you ever get over truly loving someone?  I doubt it; at least I sure haven't, and it's been 50 years (We're both nearly 70).  I keep thinking I'm over her, then I see her (weddings and funerals); I visit her Dad (my uncle) in the nursing home, and once again I'm "a goner."  Almost everything I've ever accomplished in my career was done in an effort to show her that I was worthy of her, even though it never worked.  (When in my 40s I took the first, and maybe only, step in healing:acknowledging that I didn't have to prove anything to her, but only to myself.)  Sometimes when we talk she still seems to genuinely care about/for me; but other times she's like a stranger.  I send her a birthday card every year; sometimes she sends one to me but other times not.  It kills me.

An English poet named Thomas Carew said, "True love can never change his seat, / Nor did he ever love, that could retreat."  I think he was spot on.  My cousin and I have been married to other people since our college days, but my love for my cousin has never wavered. 

Do I think this is ideal?  No; far from it.  It would have been so much easier just to move on.  I've tried SO hard, and repeatedly, and yet I end up in the same place, depressed and lonely in spite of a wife, children, grandchildren, and friends. 

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Do you ever get over the feeling of being "in love"?  Yes; I had girlfriends I thought I was "in love" with but that faded away completely.  Do you ever get over truly loving someone?  I doubt it; at least I sure haven't, and it's been 50 years (We're both nearly 70).  I keep thinking I'm over her, then I see her (weddings and funerals); I visit her Dad (my uncle) in the nursing home, and once again I'm "a goner."  Almost everything I've ever accomplished in my career was done in an effort to show her that I was worthy of her, even though it never worked.  (When in my 40s I took the first, and maybe only, step in healing:acknowledging that I didn't have to prove anything to her, but only to myself.)  Sometimes when we talk she still seems to genuinely care about/for me; but other times she's like a stranger.  I send her a birthday card every year; sometimes she sends one to me but other times not.  It kills me.

An English poet named Thomas Carew said, "True love can never change his seat, / Nor did he ever love, that could retreat."  I think he was spot on.  My cousin and I have been married to other people since our college days, but my love for my cousin has never wavered. 

Do I think this is ideal?  No; far from it.  It would have been so much easier just to move on.  I've tried SO hard, and repeatedly, and yet I end up in the same place, depressed and lonely in spite of a wife, children, grandchildren, and friends.

Your post sir speaks volumes of love for her!! My eyes were filled with tears as I kept reading... Cousin Love, Beautiful and sacred indeed it is =)

I wish how some of you who have gone through this kind of relationship or is in love with a cousin, and is of our parents age or older (Of most of the readers here I think) can talk to our parents and family ... They would rather hear true stories from someone mature than young couples like most of us. It hurts when your own blood doesn't get you.

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Though it is our first relationship and first love for both of us, I believe this love with my cousin is something different from that of non-cousins.

I haven't met my cousin/my boyfriend in 3 years by this coming July. Things have been shaky and torture since end of 2010, that would be more than a year now. He had got himself into the mission of making me hate him, thinking that it will be easier for me to move on and I will get less hurt!

No, I will never be over my cousin, never be over this love.

Even after all this distance, even after all this pain, we both don't even understand the whole thing about moving on.

I think I would rather be alone my whole life, than ruining a third persons life, by being with him, but have my cousin in my heart and not give my whole to the third person. A big sin to him and to my love.

Even if there will be family pressures, I think I will get away with it and be alone for life, but Yes I will never stop fighting for my cousin, I will never leave him alone.

Hes a total wreck at the moment and I don't even know whats going on in his head, but I know I am what he wants and needs at this very moment.

I think no matter what happens or how much more torture we have to go through, I believe we will stick by each other.

Pain will always be there ,but Love will always be more and greater in power. It will heal us. It will protect us. It will always be within us, telling us that what you have is sacred, fight for it, protect it... Don't let go just because eyes around you are not accepting and can't stand to see a love so great.

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I can't even imagine being without my cousin at this point in my life. But if we ever were to break up (something I can't even seem to fathom), he'll always be the only guy that I had ever been truly in love with. So, no I would probably never, ever get over being in love with him even if we were to go our separate ways. Once I love, I'll love with an intense, fiery and a great passion or else it was never worth it to love him in the first place. And something like that, a love like that... is kind of hard to just get over isn't it?

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Guest candor

Getting over cousin love is next to impossible. Maybe it's  because of  the fact that you are blood relations  and this keeps tying you down to each other, bringing the feelings back at full speed when  least wanted ( more so than any other love relationship).I was wondering if you`ve  ever told her about your love in an open and clear way, and tried to break through the walls of her denial?  Every love has to be fought for especially if it`s true, I believe.

A few years has passed since this post. Have you gotten over that love?

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Candor,

  The first post in this thread was in March of this year.  The gentleman is in his 60s.  I doubt there has been any change in his feelings

Nattana

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Guest Feelings85

No you dont you just numb yourself and forget about it eventually. You cant see this person or pictures if its sopose to over. Like in my situation if he doesnt choose me then he cant exist. The love from a cousin is very storng normally its exciting because you think its wrong and more intense since you have to sneak around. You experiment and give your all. In this love you share so much because it is family and they seem hotter than the average person you meet.

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Guest Feelings85

Omg my cousin is sooo hot i mean there is no one hotter!!! I had to delete the pictures he sent me because i would look at them and dream of a life that is not mine at the moment. A person could go crazy fantasizing. I mean soo hot.... and when we talk its like he knows my soul his lips melt my insides. If I have to be around him how are you suppose to be cousins.

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Guest purplexy54

hey guys, havent been on here in a while...i've had feelings for my cousin for about a year now, and we're both going through the motions of moving on:i've had a bf, he's with some chick named michelle right now...it hurts, guys, its really does. and i think back to myself "i ruined it, didnt i? i took my cousin's heart and mutilated it. i pickd up a bf, i told my mother about my feelings for my cousin n ruined the relationship between my cuz n his aunt, i ruined our love affair didnt i?"

    back to the topic, like what chocolate said, i believe you can get over it. i am hurting, but i am hopeful because thats the way you have to be, guys. for example: tomorrow my cuz is going on a date with his michelle and most likely taking her to his place and screwing, and tomorrow i'm breaking up with my bf and going out to a pub with my girls to have some fun, see? i am hurting...but I AM HOPEFUL! lol...btw, i just turned 21 on 7/11 :D

    dont get me wrong, ii absolutely love my cousin (i still think he's the sexiest man on this planet) i hate stickin around knowing he's with someone else. but i love him, and i'm here for him...just like i promised. God bless, everyone

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wow I've been reading everyone's replies and my answer is I sure hope so!!...but until now I've failed I find that I love him deeply and that makes me kind of mad because he broke up with me three months ago and he says he just loves me as his cousin only which I find to be so ridiculous due to the fact that we lived together for five months and called me his girlfriend during that time and I won't go into details but wow I've never ever experienced something so powerful and intense like that it was truly a magical feeling the chemistry was off the charts!!!...I often ask myself how can someone walk away from something like that? and forget about it? I don't know he's so weird I think he's in denial or something like that...I mean he told me he loved me so much did the most romantic things wrote me super deep love letters and now I'm just his cousin lol I just have to laugh because that's really messed up :wacko: anyways he lives in another state than me and now we only talk on the phone like once every two weeks he asks me how I'm doing? ..I get so annoyed when he calls me his cousin I'd rather he called me by my name..he told me we should date other people and I do but I find that all men pale in comparison to him to me he's perfect I shouldn't love him but I do I can't help it!

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Guest daughterofeve

@Eternal: At least your cousin still talks to you. My cousin doesn't want to talk to me anymore, he pretends like I don't even exist. We had a moment a few months ago and then he freaked out or something and called it quits and I've never heard of him since  :cry: I was really angry at first, but now I just really miss him... I wish we could at least be cousins again...

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Well i guess thats kinda good news

In my situation, my cousin definetly fell in love with me, then she tried to deny it and hate me cause she was in denial

I think she is never going to get over it, which is good news cause i like her 2

ive tried so many times to stop liking her, and sometimes i can forget about it, and then it just comes back

i think once u cross the line, there really is no going back, u have the monkey on ur back your whole life

i know all of us on here have been in and out of relationships, etc, but something about cousin love is different

u just cant forget about it, something always draws u back, something always torments u, its like some primal instinct none of us can control

ive posted on here before, where i basically told everybody i was over her and she is nothing to me

man was that :bleep:,

i think the first thing all of us need to realize about this cousin love is

once you fall in love with ur cousin, there is no going back

i mean there are alot of people on here with complex situations and comforting words to consol people

but the bottom line is

if u like ur cousin u r stuck with it

i wish i knew that before all this went down, lol

think about it though, when a relationship fails with ur cousin, it seems more personal and more dramatic then regular relationships

u feel like a failure, u think to urself, this was meant to be, and now its ruined

its like destiny exploded in ur face

cousin love the ultimate double edged sword

Hope there is some truth to that... Love to have this thought work in my favor with my ex... Hopefully not an ex too much longer. I can't give up on her. Hopefully we can find a way to heal.

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I don't think you ever get over anyone you love.  In fact I'd dare say that if you get completely over someone then you never really loved that person.

By getting over someone I mean forgetting about them to the point where you just don't care about anything in their life. 

I still keep in contact with all my ex's (lol as if it was so many).  But the point is that I loved them at one point and I'll continue loving them.  They are no longer the people I plan to spend the rest of my life with, but I sure like knowing what they are up to and I like hearing about when things are going great for them and I feel sad when I know they are not doing good. 

Has nothing to do with being or not being cousins, it's just love. 

Now if by getting over a cousin you mean get to the point where not being with them doesn't hurt anymore, then yes, I most certainly believe you can get over them.  Again just how you can get over anyone.  And I believe you can still go and develop a good friendship with someone even after breaking up.

That hurts, considering she's done with me at this point... Almost been a month. It makes sense, truth hurts, but, damn... I know how she is and could very well forget about me...

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i'll have to say, well from my experience anyway, yes you get over it.

i think it's all in how you look at things really (once again from my standpoint). i really loved him...truly and deeply. and while i'm not saying i don't anymore, i AM saying i don't hurt anymore...not really.  it's more like an "oh well" sort of thing.

then too i'm just too busy to worry about him. i don't have time to dwell on stuff. i remember just recently walking past a place or site where i used to sit and mourn him...really...and couldn't believe i actually did that! but did it do something to me? well yeah...a bit. but life has a way of going on you know? i'm not referring to the "life is too short" thing. rather it just has a way of going on, continuing, to dwell on stuff i can't do anything about.

anyway..."do you ever get over cousin love"? YES, YOU DO! oh i'm not talking about if something happened to him or her like death or something. that's different. but as far as a broken heart kind of thing as in it not working out? again...YES, YOU DO!

it all boils down to how you see yourself. do you see yourself as someone who needs another human being to validate yourself? or do you see yourself as someone who's special with unique strengths and weaknesses? i know you've probably heard that before but it's sooo true.

Well... If it happens, and she really is done with me, I don't know...

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Guest Jessie

Do U ever get over cousin love? wow what a good question. I can only answer that for me  but first is the old saying ?If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.? I was married to my first cousin Judy for 21 years actually she lost her battle with lung cancer at 47  and she past 1 week before our 21st anniversary. Once married to a first cousin that is hard to follow so at 55 a may be single for the rest of my life.  It's all up to the Lord. If you got her treat her right tomorrow is not certian. God Bless

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Jessie I'm so sorry for your loss... your post really got to me..but you lived a beautiful life with her for those 21 years and a rare and hard to find true love!... I do believe in that old saying.. I hope my cousin comes back to me I miss him a lot     

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