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Do U ever get over cousin love?

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Guest sweetsprinkles85

I sure hope so... Im still trying to get over the feelings I have on my first cousin once removed Ken

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I have. When my cousin and I broke up, it devastated me. However, after years and years of not talking to one another, the feelings went away. Nowadays, her and I are back to a more platonic relationship. She's friendly towards me, gives me hugs whenever I go visit her, desires to spend time with me. Overall, we're back to where we were before we engaged in a relationship.

It takes time is all.

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For me I agree with the majority.

"cross the line" sounds so negative.

seriously, cousin romance is like any other romance. it may or may not work out, and if it doesn't, you may or may not have any "not over it" feelings when you're old and grey. i mean really.... i don't have any warm fuzzy feelings about my ex husband, and that's about as serious of a relationship as one can have, ya know? in fact, of all the men i've loved before, there's only one that i still have any lingering fond memories of, but i wouldn't want to contact him or anything. so whether or not one ever really "gets over" a relationship with a cousin or not is just as much a toss-up as whether you ever get over anyone you once loved.

as for me, i really hope i never get over my cousin. friday is our 11th wedding anniversary. i hope i'm never over him :)

You know your husband well, so you can take a reasonable assumption how it would be to get over him. Still, you can't know how it will be unless you've been there. You're married to your cousin for 11 years so you can only imagine or pretend what the circumstances would be like and how you would feel if you had to get over your him as an individual, maybe it won't be the same as getting over anyone else...

I do believe though that you can love someone and get over it. I have loved and got completely over it and when I look back I do think it was love. There is something stronger for me with my cousin though, I have read over and over people say it's no different to another relationship, so it must be different on an individual level.

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I would say no from my own experience, I loved her then and love her now.  I live in hope that she will one day return to the UK and we'll grow old(er) together. I get butterflies just thinking of her and have always had that feeling - so a definite no from me.

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For me the answer is no. It's been 33 years now and I still feel the same for her. It's love that can't live yet never dies. It's a long story for me. I love her all of my life for the rest of my life.

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Guest mirsyis

I think for me it's because I love her ss my cousin to begin with that makes me love her so strongly this way. The funny part is that she's not blood related to me so it's not entirely out of te realm of possibility (I'm bot with her) but she's still my cousin to me and I've seen her grow up and become so beautiful it's hard to except the favs that I'm hopelessly in love with her. I get the feeling she feels the same way and is struggling to understand it all too. I tried to distance myself from her and it made things worse and now she's even more loving at times and that makes things difficult especially sense we live together (family is poor) I want to hold her and make her smile and treat her perfectly but I have to caution myself because she's my cousin. I can't out right tell her I feel this way because I can't imagine losing any of what we have. I'm trapped and can't get out and partly don't want to and wish there was a clear solution but for now I will except my love for her and hope for a chance to clear things up.

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Well I can tell you this.  I am now 47 years old.  When I was a young 16, I knew in my heart of hearts I truly loved my cousin.  He lived in B.C. I lived in Ontario.  We visited a few times over the years, in fact he was a groomsman in my first wedding.  I am a christian and just "assumed" that it was incest.  So I enjoyed our relationship but that was all, "just cousins".  When I was 31 years old I was in a terrifying situation in my life and had to move away from the city I grew up in.  I had two choices, the cousin I was in love with or the female cousin I had not spoken to in 12 years.  I phoned the one I loved.  I told him I had to move, he told me come here.  I didn't know at the time he had been separated from his wife for almost 6 months.  I did not want to be a home wrecker so I took a deep breath, closed my eye's and prayed to God he would not hang up.  I said James you need to know something.  I said I love you.  He replied, I love you too.  I said no I love you like a boyfriend/girlfriend love.  Forever and a day pause.......He said yeah I love you like that too and my ex-wife has been gone for nearly 6 months so come on out.  The rest is history and we have resided very happily in Alberta together for 16 years.  :azn:  No, I never got over my cousin love.  We got married finally in 2007 and have a beautiful 15 year old daughter (yes kc and lady c) .  Yes all our children know, all our families know, all our friends know, and I'm sure now and again we get run through the old gossip mill.  :huh:

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Well I can tell you this.  I am now 47 years old.  When I was a young 16, I knew in my heart of hearts I truly loved my cousin.  He lived in B.C. I lived in Ontario.  We visited a few times over the years, in fact he was a groomsman in my first wedding.  I am a christian and just "assumed" that it was incest.  So I enjoyed our relationship but that was all, "just cousins".  When I was 31 years old I was in a terrifying situation in my life and had to move away from the city I grew up in.  I had two choices, the cousin I was in love with or the female cousin I had not spoken to in 12 years.  I phoned the one I loved.  I told him I had to move, he told me come here.  I didn't know at the time he had been separated from his wife for almost 6 months.  I did not want to be a home wrecker so I took a deep breath, closed my eye's and prayed to God he would not hang up.  I said James you need to know something.  I said I love you.  He replied, I love you too.  I said no I love you like a boyfriend/girlfriend love.  Forever and a day pause.......He said yeah I love you like that too and my ex-wife has been gone for nearly 6 months so come on out.  The rest is history and we have resided very happily in Alberta together for 16 years.  :azn:  No, I never got over my cousin love.  We got married finally in 2007 and have a beautiful 15 year old daughter (yes kc and lady c) .  Yes all our children know, all our families know, all our friends know, and I'm sure now and again we get run through the old gossip mill.  :huh:

nice to see ya stop in around here! you should come more often!

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This is my first post in almost 3 years on this forum.Yes, it is possible, but the memories will still be there.  I have the right to be happy without my cousin as much as she has the right to be happy without me.  If my cousin is sad and depressed without me, I still have the right to be happy without her.  I being happy without my cousin is a right and not a privilege and I do not apologize for saying that. 

Almost every night before I go to bed, I pray that I can be happy without my cousin and this is something I want and need more than anything. 

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Leingod, what a wonderful and poignant post. Most romantic relationships aren't forever. We can and often must move on. It's painful, but that is how we grow. Being cousins does add a special dimension but I'm not sure I can put my finger on it. I was married for nearly two decades to my cousin. I watched the marriage crumble into fine dust particles and blow away. I never thought it would end like this. I've lost everything except my dreams, ambition, and faith. Nobody can take that away.

We are more resilient than we think, so yes, we can certainly get over a cousin just like we can get over any other lover.

And for you guys I suggest you follow the advice of an old country song and find a cocktail waitress with a Dolly Parton wig. I can't think of too many things a night like that couldn't cure. But no. I'm only saying, "don't put your life on hold for anybody." It's way too short. Life will move on with or without you. You gotta jump on, roll with the punches and come back for more.

This is my first post in almost 3 years on this forum.Yes, it is possible, but the memories will still be there.  I have the right to be happy without my cousin as much as she has the right to be happy without me.  If my cousin is sad and depressed without me, I still have the right to be happy without her.  I being happy without my cousin is a right and not a privilege and I do not apologize for saying that. 

Almost every night before I go to bed, I pray that I can be happy without my cousin and this is something I want and need more than anything. 

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Jasper, congrats! I'm happy to hear that...I agree, to some people, it may be easy to let go...for some, it stays forever...always remembering good old memories...we have memories that will last a lifetime...still hoping that someday, she'll have the strength to decide to live with me...

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I posted about this in March 2012, when I was really down about the whole thing.  That summer, I had a long talk with another cousin, and he helped me see that it was wrong to cling to the past.  I should focus on the wife that God gave me.  OK, that helped, and I thought I was finally over pining for our cousin.  But it's still hard to see her at weddings and funerals and NOT think about "what might have been."  That's the thing that makes cousin-love so hard to get over: she's still part of the extended family, and our family is all so close it's impossible to cut her out of my life.  But this summer I've come to realize that I didn't really "get over it."  I'm back to being depressed, moody, preoccupied.  Bottom line: my wife is a wonderful woman, but she's not the one I love emotionally.  I wish it weren't this way, but it is.  My cousin and I were/are soul-mates, and there doesn't seem to be any way to change that.

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I personally don't think you ever really get over your cousin love.

Maybe it's the family bond, maybe it's something else.

For me, there's a 99% chance I won't ever get to be with my cousin, but I know that there is always going to be a part of me that still loves him, even if I end up with someone else. The bond with him goes deep for me, and as my father is wont to say "blood is thicker than water".

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One common theme I have noticed from my reading here, and which resonates with my own experience, is that the feelings you have for a cousin are often unperturbed by the passage of time. Our story has not even quite begun, but I imagine it will be a very hard one to just turn the page over in my journal of life.

No matter how busy life gets,

how long it's been since you last met,

The moment you behold her face,

it's like the Sun had never set.

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It's different for everyone. Personally it's extremely difficult for me. I doubt I will ever feel for another girl the way I do about my cousin. You can love other people. But there's always that one that will always have your heart. For me it is her.

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I am a poet and poets only fall in love once in short I am a one woman person.

I don't think it's even possible for me to forget her and stop/reduce the love for her.!!!

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I posted about this in March 2012, when I was really down about the whole thing.  That summer, I had a long talk with another cousin, and he helped me see that it was wrong to cling to the past.  I should focus on the wife that God gave me.  OK, that helped, and I thought I was finally over pining for our cousin.  But it's still hard to see her at weddings and funerals and NOT think about "what might have been."  That's the thing that makes cousin-love so hard to get over: she's still part of the extended family, and our family is all so close it's impossible to cut her out of my life.  But this summer I've come to realize that I didn't really "get over it."  I'm back to being depressed, moody, preoccupied.  Bottom line: my wife is a wonderful woman, but she's not the one I love emotionally.  I wish it weren't this way, but it is.  My cousin and I were/are soul-mates, and there doesn't seem to be any way to change that.

I'm sorry but I feel so badly for your wife. :( It's a sad situation for everybody.

to answer the question, I don't know about anybody else but I will never "get over" my cousin.

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Guest heartbroken girl

Mine just broke up with me because he lost interest in me after less than a month of dating. We live in the same city and see him almost every weekend and its tough. Knowing i was just a joke to him. What could? i do i cant move away i love my family and cant bare the thought if being away from them.

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Mine just broke up with me because he lost interest in me after less than a month of dating. We live in the same city and see him almost every weekend and its tough. Knowing i was just a joke to him. What could? i do i cant move away i love my family and cant bare the thought if being away from them.

I'm so sorry to hear this heartbroken girl. Less than a month of dating and losing interest in you because your a so called joke to him, thats just mean and nasty imo. Cousin relationships can/does but don't know the rate of difficulties and problems it can have on the whole family.

So to do this to you, well all i can say is you deserve better  :smiley:

nessa76

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Well, it depends on how in love you got.  Though, love can fade, and cousin love is no exception.  If you were deeply in love and couldn't stand not being with them, or anything of there sort, I'm sure it wouldn't go away.  If you didn't love them a whole lot, it may go away.  Cousin love is love, just a strong form of it.  It all depends on the person and how in love they were.

For me, however, I don't think I'll be over it any time soon.  Every day I think about her, and everyday I get to be more in love with her.  My love for her is unending, and is constantly growing.  I can't spend one day without talking to her.  It breaks my heart that I can't tell her I love her, as I'm sure it does her.  I get aso happy when we call each other, because I can then tell her I love her, and it feels great. 

In all, my answer is no.   

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Its funny my cousin and I are doing every possible thing to make it happen lol. We don't talk at all, but when I see him I get butterflies.

Tbh my life is a mess ever since I started liking him :(, he is very bad at communication. Only we can understand our situation,  its about time to face it rather than running away from it. I am not going to hurt my family and at the same time I don't want to have a failed relationship with anyone else.

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The love and passion I have for mine is unlike anything I think I will ever feel again. She is everything to me and more. I find myself thinking of her all the time and wondering what it would have been like if we would have stayed together but so much was against us the it was nearly impossible. But I left her to protect the image of her and her son and I feel like it was the best decision. I seen her tonight like I do many days and nights but tonight was different. I felt the same rush and fast paced heart beat and the nervousness I had felt in yrs prior. I wanted to feel her touch, her embrace, her passion, and to just hold her once again and ik the feelings completely mutual. I crave her and want her touch and miss everything g about her. Love between two people doesn't get any stronger and any more pure at heart than what we shared and had together. So I believe no I will NEVER EVER get over what we once had. And to be completely honest if ik that I could have her just the way I want her, freely, openly, and without family drama I would take her and give her the love ik the we so desperately both want. I love her more than the English language has words to even begin to describe and I thank God above he gave me the grace and privilege to love a women so deeply and to know that fairy tale love is so so real!!!

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