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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Jpixie

Heartbroken

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Hi i just found this website. I've been with my cousin for the past 6years secretly. I'm now finding out he was never committed to me 100% there has been other women . I honestly had a gut feeling something wasn't right so I went through his phone which I know was wrong. He is seeing someone now although he says I am his woman. I confronted him about this woman and he tells me what he do on his own time is his business. I feel lost ,confused and most of all heartbroken I'm in love with this man. I don't know what to do I have no one to talk to.

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If he says your is woman, you need to put your foot down and say your not being second best for him or any other guy either!

You deserve to be treated better than this, he wants his cake and eat it too. Give him the ultimate alternative, it's either you only or if not, kick his ass to the curb. Giving him this, will prove to you how serious he is about you.

I know it's easier said than done, but what other choice do you have? Don't be second best for anyone  :smiley:

Good luck!

nessa76

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I agree with nessa76 don't take second tell him to make his choice

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Pixie - you don't mention your ages.  

I think he is a jerk to treat you this way/

I recommend a book to help everyone.  It is NASTY PEOPLE, HOW TO STOP BEING HURT BY THEM WITHOUT STOOPING TO THEIR LEVEL.  It teaches you how to deal with people who bully you - which is what this jerk is doing.

He is not being nice to you OR to this other woman.

Keep coming here - we'll support you and help you as much as we can.

HUGS

Nat

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well i disagree with nessa and our guest.... i've decided over the years that ultimatums are rarely anything more than desperate manipulations that don't end well.

i'd just kick him to the curb without discussion. you deserve better. and no matter how heartbreaking it is, he's never going to change for you.

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after kicking him to the curb I would send the other woman a message telling her how he has been cheating on her too!!!!

But I am like that.

Don't be second for anyone!!

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I thank you all for your support it feels good to be able to get this off my chest.

Nat there is a age difference I am 25 he is 42. Our age was never a problem in the beginning but now I'm thinking that is part of the problem.

I've tried to walk away from this relationship before but he has a way of pulling me back in. He tells me he cannot allow me to walk out his life but I know in my heart I deserve to be treated better. He wasn't always mean to me its like things changed overnight.

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Pixie = I said it before and I'll say it again - he's a JERK

You deserve better, and we'll do everything we can to help you and support you.

Do, please try to get the book - Amazon has it and your library does too.  

I was targeted by an NP at s young age = not by a cousin - but a jerk for sure.

Some cousins are worth it, some aren't = you need to learn the difference.

HUGs

Nat

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He tells me he cannot allow me to walk out his life but I know in my heart I deserve to be treated better. He wasn't always mean to me its like things changed overnight.

He sounds like a manipulative SOB.  Do not walk away from this jerk; Run!

Six years of secrecy, another woman and being mean to you?  You definitely deserve better.

Do not misunderstand any of the advice given here:  Leaving the relationship will not be easy.  You will cry and have a hard time letting go, at least for a little while.  But it WILL get easier and you WILL be happier one day. 

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He tells me he cannot allow me to walk out his life but I know in my heart I deserve to be treated better. He wasn't always mean to me its like things changed overnight.

here's the scary thing. all those statistics you hear about women who died at the hands of boyfriends/lovers/husbands who would NEVER harm them? in nearly every instance, the man said "i won't allow you to walk out of my life".

RUN.

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I like to read thanks for the book recommendation. I live in NY as soon as the streets are cleared of snow I will go get it. Again thanks for the support and advice

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I'd Run too, fast. He sounds like he's trying to control you & people like that do so they've got you were they want you. As said, deaths do happen at the hands of abusers (physical). Don't be one of those statistics!

nessa76

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