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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Oitza

help again guys..

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36 posts in this topic

I love my cousin alot, a week earlier i asked her if she want  to be with me and she said that she cant think of me as a lover...

The worst part is that she likes my best friend. And i know what my best friend do with girls, he just :bleep: virgins and then move on..

And my cousin is a virgin! I talked to my best friend and told him not to :bleep: with my family, and instead of leaving her alone, he talks to her every day and that makes me feel bad AND jealous. I cant  even sleep anymore.. Some sugestions? Please help!!

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I'm not sure what you expected.  You made an overture of love and she rejected you.  She is not going to take relationship advice from you, whether it is justified or not.  She is moving on.

Do not speak to either of them about their relationship.  It's none of your business, no matter how much you hurt, how jealous you are or how much you are concerned about your cousin.  It's none of your business.  Stay out of it.

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But i cant live knowing that my perv friend did it with my cousin.

I try to avoid to have a fight with my friend..

So any other sugestions?

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Your cousin has the right to chose who she wants to sleep with. You have no say in the matter, however bad or angry her choice makes you feel.

You have a choice - you can grow up and learn to live with your cousin's choice of partner, or you can do something really stupid and selfish and try to interfere in which case everyone will probably get hurt.

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I think you did things in the wrong order here...you should have given your advice to her about your friend but not have told her that you love her (romantically). Now she probably thinks you are trying to stop their relationship just so you can be with her instead.

Maybe you can confront your friend about it but I wouldn't mention anything about you being in love with your cousin, to him or to her, not for a while anyway...

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all im saying is how ever old she is if they don't use a condom his going to be a dad and she is gonna get impregnated so....... if u hang round her with a new gf or something she will see tht u also moved on and she MIGHT, MIGHT get jealous

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Yes, i got the idea of getting her, but how to make her break up with my friend? I dont think that she will be jealous if she would see me with someone else..

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have u tried telling her what he does and this worked 4 me once, have a talk with him telling him ot too and record the convocation!

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To leave them alone, so my loved cousin lost her virginity with a guy like him? Impossible.

I can't even think at them holding they're hands.. I have an idea of having a fight with him, but maybe my cousin would just leave me fo him..

Guys i don't know what to do.. I really need help..

I can't live my life like this.

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A girls relationships with guys are not really a thing of concern.. just let her laugh, let her love, let her live! And when she falls down, let her learn from her mistakes, that’s what life is about, that’s how we grow.

Your job is just to be there to support her and to give helping hands whenever she needs it the most. Don’t be miserable, life is too good, you are too good for that.

Smile kid. :)

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Thank you for your support. :)

I will try to forget about her for some time..

Then when they broke, i would give her a shoulder to cry on.

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Guys, things are very complicated..

My cousin broke up on my friend, and she was not sad.

She was really happy that she broke up, and that is a good thing, because today we went out together for the first time this month.

But now i got something else on my mind..

While we we're walking, she saw one of her ex-boyfriends, and she was leaning on me just to make him feel bad.

Plus, she asked me if i still talk with my ex (because i had a fight with her, and my cousin know about it) and i told her that yes, i still talk with her, because this is the truth.

And since she broke up with my friend, she was posting strange things on facebook, like "When a guy does something stupid once, it's because he is a guy. But if he does the same thing twice, that to impress some girl".

And i think she tries to make me ask her again out, but i am not so sure about it.

And if i ask her again, i don't think she will ever speak to me again..

So what do you think guys? What does she wants?

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We don't know your cousin like you do and can't read her mind.

Ask her, use the "if we weren't cousins" line on her and see what she says.

If she is still hesitatant, in denial or whatever say I did say IF...

Leave it in her hands. Don't be pushy, don't bring it up again.

That's the best advice I have.

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Thank you for your reply, i have the feeling to leave everything in her hands.

If she want to be with me she could just say it and don't avoid like she does now.

Thank you again for your support. I am very grateful.

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To leave them alone, so my loved cousin lost her virginity with a guy like him? Impossible.

I can't even think at them holding they're hands.. I have an idea of having a fight with him, but maybe my cousin would just leave me fo him..

Guys i don't know what to do.. I really need help..

I can't live my life like this.

If he tries to bang her and she says yes, then oh well she consented to it. There is no point in trying to be selfish and keep her away from someone she wants to be with just for the pure reason you want her.

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You dont understand the feeling. I dont want to bang her, not even when she is still a virgin, because I would feel very baad about it. I just try to make my cousin realise who he is. Because if she would lost her virginity banging with him, he would forget completely about her, and she would be destroyed. And if that happens I am going to kill that guy, because he banged my cousin. And by the way, I am just lookin for a  good guy that would actually love her of she dont want to love me. My life is very complicated and you dont even understand that. When i go to bed, I go thinking at her. When i wake up, i wake up thinking at her. And when i think at her i feel bad because she dont believe me with anything. She thinks that every word i say is a lie, just because I like her. It's a miracle I'm still alive.

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"And by the way, I am just lookin for a  good guy that would actually love her of she dont want to love me."

No matter what is going on in your life  and how you feel about her, you must realize that YOU can't control HER life or her

life decisions. It is not up to YOU  to decide who she spends her time, life or virginity with!

The sooner you realize this and accept it, the sooner you can move on with your life.

It will be difficult but you are making a crazy person of yourself over situations that you

can not have any control. And that is the worst thing you can do is try to control her life.

Deny it if you want but that is exactly what you are doing.  She will run as fast as she

can away from you due to all the control you are trying to hold on her.  ANY woman would/should

leave someone trying to control their life.

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I don't want to control anybody's life, all i want is that she is happy with somebody else if not me.

All i want is to find somebody who can really love a person like her, not every hooligan.

I know that it looks like i want total control over the situation, but it's not like this.

Things in my family are very complicated, because we are gonna move together.

I am young, and i know i make a lot of mistakes, but if i am not gonna keep her away from all the creeps, who is gonna do it for her?

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It is not your job!!  Her parents are responsible for teaching her

right and wrong. If she choses not to do what is right it is her choic.

Again it IS NOT your job or responsibility. No matter how much you think

you have her best interests at heart.  And because you seem to be so bent on making

these choices for her she very well may be making the "bad" choices to show you it

is not your place and because she feels "smothered" or that you are trying to be her parent.

Regardless of whether this is your intent or not.  My best advice is for you to back out and

leave her alone. If she changes her mind about you I am sure it won't be hard to figure out.

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Her father is dead, and her mother is drunk everytime i see her.

My father died too so i know how hard is to take decisions in that situations.

And all i want to do is to find her someone that won't leave her for every bitch.

In the town we live are a lot of hooligans that looks like gentlemens, all i try to do is to protect my family from those guys.

I dont see anything wrong in it. In this city everyone tries to make a fool out of you, and i know that if something happens to her now, she wont be able to live with it. I went trough those things, and i wish it to anybody else, especially my friends or family.

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I give up!  You are too close to the situation to see it clearly that

what you say you are not doing is exactly what you are doing.

And that is trying to control her life.

No more responses from me!

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