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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Andrea

In love with my cousin

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Guest Andrea

So I need some advice....... Am 19 years old am from Colombia my father lives in Queens NY. I came to the US when i was 10 years old with my mom because my father was living in NY with all his family but he would go to Colombia every 3 months to see me, my mom and my mom side of the family. When I moved to the US I was never close with my father side of the family we always had problems with them couse they always want to talk things that are not true... also they never got along with me couse I never seem them or even spoke to them. I don't even talk to my father like that.

When I was 17 years old my cousins from Virginia came to visit NY and they stood in my house... this is the first time I seem them...for the first time with 3 of my cousin I got along (26years old) and we was chilling all the time while they came to visit.... long story short one night before they went back to Virginia we was drinking and I kiss one of my cousins and we was making out. They left the next day early in the morning....

We had a family reunion 4 months later... during those 4 months later we didn't talk at all but he was always liking my pic on IG and FB... He came back with his brothers and they stood at my house again in Queens. The one that i made out with started talking but different and he was looking at me different and he was always touching my neck and my hands and we started kissing again... he went back to Virginia and we started talking every day, every night... I was in my senior year and we was still talking every night till 3am and I would wake up at 7:30 to go to school.

He came back in February to see me and we were kind of dating but it wasn't official couse he never ask me out and couse he's parents are also cousins but they got divorced couse he father went to jail and when he came out he came out gay.... in May he ask me out to make it official even tho we were together since February... we had our big problems caused the family find out every 2 month it was a argument couse the family always talked about it.. it was us against the family... now when we made a year together he moved to NY to be with me even tho he has a 6 years old son back in Virginia... he broke everything up with his babymoma 4 years ago couse they were constantly fighting... now he's here in Queens and the family started talking again and he don't care and I don't care either but am 19 years old now and he's 28years old and we want to move to Miami together and start a family together... he try to get me pregnant but i got the depo shot so i wont get pregnant couse he's parents are cousin and is kind of hard couse were cousin also.... any help or any advice anyone?.. Thank you

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Unless you have a genetic problem that runs in your family, like a recessive disease, it is not a big deal. You would not need any special testing or anything out of the ordinary. Read the facts pages here on cc.com and you can find out how much you increase your chances of having a baby ith a birth defect (becuase your partner is your cousin, not because his parents are cousins). 

If you want to be with your cousin, take off to Miami. Sounds like a plan, but only if you get married first. If he is unwilling to marry you, send him back to his babymomma. Don't worry yourself over birth defects. Making yourself sick over worrying about things of this nature may do the most harm of all. WIth the Zika virus looming, uh, it wouldn't be a bad idea to stay on the Depo shot until a vaccine or whatever becomes available. You are too young imho to be tied down. You should continue in school. Go ahead and knock out your AA or BA. People seem to want to use kids as "glue" to hold relationships together. Trust me, that is a nutty idea. It doesn't work. You are smart for getting the Depo shot, even if it is behind his back. Take another look at this "babymomma" [God, I hate that term] and ask yourself, "Would I want to be like that woman??" 

Seriously. And good luck. I hope everything works out great for you.

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