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Confused and could use others perspective/advice

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So I've an on odd situation I never thought I'd find myself in. I'm 39, single, own my own place, and my 19 yr old female first cousin just started living with me (it's been about 3 months now).  That being said, we've never really had much interaction while growing up and likely due to age difference.  We've been FaceBook friends for sometime and would keep in touch here and there. I saw she was having troubles finding a place to stay, I've a 3 bedroom place so I offered she could live in my finished basement and get back on her feet.

I can't remember how long ago it was, but there was a time I showed up to a christmas gathering. I normally don't do that side of the family due to parents separated blah blah..  Anyhow we were talking and I don't what it was but she had gotten close to me and when I caught smell of her breath I got butterflies in my stomach like I just met the love of my life. I actually think I choked up and cut the conversation short cause I started thinking A) I'm a dirty creep B) that's your cousin silly.  I blew it off thinking it was just Lust.

Fast forward back to February of this year when she moved in, our conversations escalated into telling each others secrets, I'm trying to keep this G rated.  But we've shared a lot of info on sexual history, preferences, etc.

One night after a cocktail or two I shared the story of the Christmas experience, she didn't really give much reaction, I was nervous she'd think I was a creep.  Instead she's started flirting slowly and it's escalated into us both being in our birthday suites a couple of times now.

We've not had intercourse nor kissed but each day it escalates further.  I've tried kissing her a few times and she's made it seem like it was disgusting and wouldn't let me do it.

Here is the issue she's made it clear verbally she's not attracted to me like that and thinks it's gross however pretty much every day she is touching me, showing me her body, today she kissed me with her tongue but if I kiss back she freaks out.

I've even had multiple verbal conversations about my feelings, I am actually in love with her.  We share so much in common or at least what ever vibe we have I've never had it with any other person.

It's like she keeps doing the opposite of what she says and lets things only get so far, to me it's a tease with my emotions and I've explained to her multiple times that if she isn't into me, like Im into her. She shouldn't be doing the touching, kissing, etc.  She agrees and says is not right but two minutes later she's back all over me.

I know I need to keep in mind the age difference, but in my defense I'm 39 and I look like I'm in my twenties, which is always been a problem for me since I'm young at heart.

I feel Like I'm ranting at this point and look forward to anyones feedback.


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Wow, that is a good question/interesting predicament you have found yourself in. It does sound like she is playing games with your mind. She is immature. You, on the other hand... "aint nobody got time for that." Come on man, you must set some limits now. If she isn't into you, you must put a stop to this and cut her short on the games.

You are clearly smitten. Allowing her to continue playing games is only going to hurt you. You will end up the fool with the broken heart. She is just having fun at your expense. If your basement is a complete unit with a kitchen / bath, I would insist that she stay down there. Why is she in your space? Insist on your personal space and take some steps back from the games. I'm afraid that you made a bad decision in letting her stay at your house in the first place. I know you don't want to hear this, but the sooner you get rid of her the better.


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