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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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MissT

After all these years I don't know what to do

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I seen my cousin this past weekend for the first time in 16 years! We were really close growing up and were best of friends. He always lived six hours or so away and we only seen each other twice a year all through our childhood. I think I was 13 or so and he was 11 when we shared our first kiss. As I grew older, I cut him off and he was heartbroken. Then we reconnected again about seven years ago and talked pretty regularly for about a year. I was married and so unhappy. He was living with a woman and unhappy. We talked about anything and everything. Even our feelings for one another. We were never sexual when we were kids. We lost contact for a bit then my husband committed suicide and he checked in on me. Well I get a text out of the blue a few days ago that he's coming in for a day and wanted to see me. I was so happy! I had wanted to see him for years. Then he sends a text out of the blue saying, 'You know you were my first French kiss don't you?' I kinda laughed it off. But oh my goodness, when I seen him the next day he wraps his arms around me and it's like all these childhood emotions starts coming back. He keeps staring at me and does t take his eyes off me the whole entire visit. I tell him of my future plans and he says, 'Maybe I'll just go with you and we can travel together.' He tells me how he's so sorry of my bad luck with men and the part that gets me is he's the only man that's never disappointed me. Am I crazy? Sometimes I feel crazy. He has a way of looking at me with this love in his eyes that's undeniable.

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You don't say if he is still married or not.  If he is then you back away and don't pursue

any more of a relationship with him.   If he is not married any longer and the two or you

are of a  like mind, do what ever you want.

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I was married and my husband died. He's never been married.

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He is giving you a chance to explore your feelings.  Go for it.  Test the waters and see if you are compatible....you'll never know if you don't give it a chance.

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I've decided to just kinda back off for a bit and see if anything transpires. We have been in contact on and off for years and at some point, we just stop communicating. He always brings up the past and hints but never expresses his true feelings. I'm much older and have been through a whole lot of horrible things and I have a very hard time trusting anyone. He knows this. He knows everything I've been through. I found myself just texting him out of the blue since I seen him and for now, I'm just going to back off. I know this is confusing for both of us and at one point, we were best friends growing up. I told him that I was here if he needed to talk and for now, that's where I've got to leave it.

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