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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Virgo1979

Long Lost Love - I'm living a Nicholas Sparks Novel!!

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Story begins when I was 15, I took a family vacation. I met my cousin for the first time who was 16 at the time. There was an instant attraction I can't even explain, I literally almost fell over and tripped when I saw her. We were connected at the hip my whole trip, and yes, we made love many times. We were very much in love, but also confused about what to do. We decided to write to each other and said we loved each other.

At first I was confused and thought we were wrong. I did my research and found it wasn't abnormal, and to the contrary, there was nothing wrong with it. We continued to write, and she had to move to a foreign country. I waited 2 years and eventually traveled to a foreign country to "get my girl." Unfortunately, there was no fairy tale ending and she refused to run away with me. The concept of us being cousins was too difficult for her. She had met another guy and decided that she should give that a chance. I know she still loved me and it was heart breaking.

I left that country in heartbreak to say the least. I struggled mightily with my own life after this, as this was a very wounding experience for a young teenage man. Later I find out she is pregnant and is getting married to that guy. I was crushed.

Years go by, and she never left my thoughts. Well it turns out "that guy" was a total scumbag. Cheated on his pregnant wife during his bachelor party and of course during their marriage. What a piece of work. When I found this out I was absolutely furious! But I was also crushed because she got so wounded by this guy and I would have NEVER done that to her. So they get a divorce, and again, I travel this time to another state in the US. I thought "this time for sure." Nope, again, the issue of being cousins was something she couldn't accept. And even though we made love again (We're about 24 years old here) she wouldn't run away with me. So again, I left in heart break and went home.

More years have passed and we somewhat kept in touch, but it was always very difficult because of the connection we have. So for some time we just kind of "went dark" and stopped talking. In that time, she got married and had another child. I also got married.

Fast forward to today: I find out she's going to take a vacation to my state and we're going to see each other. Awesome! She's like my best friend I am thinking. So of course, I pick up the phone and we start talking/texting. Dangerous!! Chemistry is palpable and its even worse than before! Absence has only made us grow even fonder!

Now the complications: After all this time she has finally admitted to always loving me as I have always loved her. This is 20 years of repressed love! I showed her this site and now she feels like she made a mistake in life as well. Like she should have ran away with me a long time ago. She has admitted to thinking about me through these years, and all these things I never thought possible. Now we feel horrible because if we want to be happy, that would involve hurting other people who don't deserve to be hurt. But in the end, if we don't, we're going to suffer ourselves internally our whole lives. She's coming out, we're talking, and we're honestly scared to be alone together. That's how strong the chemistry is. We're guaranteed to kiss if we're alone.

Thoughts? Advice? My word... we're in trouble here. But I have to say I would get a divorce for her. She was always the one I loved. It's so strong we believe we were together in our past life. It's not explainable, the connection we have is just crazy.

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