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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Help advice Crush on my second cousin

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Hello every one,uhh I'm 17 and I have a crush on my second cousin she's 16 or 15 I only seen her 6 times in my life she's my grandmothers daughters,daughter I really love her she has a big brother he's some what close with me he's my age. I really love her but when ever I meet her she calls me brother and it stabs me with a knife. So no ways of communicating through phones and I just fell for her. Sometimes she calls by my name. Should I say about my cousin crush to my mother is it too early to say or is it good to love your cousin? I wanted her to love me the way how I see her any help?

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If she is your grandmother's daughter's daughter, she is your first cousin. If she is your grandmother's sister's (or brother's) daughter's daughter, she is your second cousin. You should build the friendship for now, and focus on your schooling, and NOT bring any of this up to your mother. You would be looking at WAY too much drama for you to handle at your age. In 5 years or so, when you are either independent, or a whole lot closer to being able to be, you then try to determine if there are mutual feelings on her part. If there are, THEN you decide if you two want to wade off in it, and face any potential drama. Believe me when I tell you, now is NOT the time. Put it on the back burner, build the friendship to the point she may come to see you as a good potential life partner when she gets older, but do not move too fast now. You risk the whole thing blowing up in your face. Be patient my young friend.....

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Thanks hawk but my one problem is if she likes another guy if I'm not stepping further she may go away or there family might get her married like that?

when should I say this to my mom and to her?

thanks I'll take your advice 

btw I'm done my schooling btw

thanks again and yes she's my second cousin 🙂

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no, she's your first cousin, unless you've given us wrong information about the family tree. your grandmother's daughter's daughter would either be your sister or your first cousin. i'm assuming she's not your sister. your grandmother's daughter would be your aunt. your aunt's daughter would be your cousin. FIRST cousin.

if she were your second cousin, the common ancestor would be your great-grandmother.

you're 17. she's even younger. why are you worried about marriage at this age? do you live in a country where people marry off their daughters at the age of 15?

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oh, ok. so second cousin it is. other than that, my response to your PM stands. spend at least the next three years building a solid foundation of friendship, trust and respect. nothing more. if you rush into a relationship now, it will fail. allow yourself to date. and don't get upset when she dates. none of those relationships at this point in time will be permanent, but they are a necessary part of your (and her) emotional growth, so that when the time is right to start settling down with one person for the rest of your lives, you'll both know HOW to be in a mature relationship.

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