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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Tib_12

I want to like him, but I don't

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Hi. Sorry I keep posting, but I need advice. I don't really want to like him anymore. I saw him the other day, I was really happy that I saw him, but now I'm sad. He's a really nice guy, he would never intentionally hurt me. But, he is kind of hurting me. If he wasn't my cousin, I'd simply just tell him and see how things would go. But, that isn't the case at all! I've tried looking on the Internet, but I don't think it'll work. I like him so, so much. And, I've liked him for years, so how do I go about stopping my feelings for him. I honestly don't see me and him being together and it hurts. I'm trying to stop, but I see him again and it starts all over again. But, I think part of it is my fault. The other day I was having a horrible day, so I thought about how I wanted to see him all day, because seeing him really makes me happy. He actually did show up on the day I was thinking this. He came up and said,"Hi." Which honestly, made my whole week, because well, who doesn't like seeing the guy they like and he showed up when I really wanted him to. But, I shouldn't be happy to see him in that kind of way. I just don't know, what to feel.

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So can you stay away from him for a while?  Give yourself a chance to heal / make sense of things?

Lori :)

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So can you stay away from him for a while?  Give yourself a chance to heal / make sense of things?

Lori :)

Thanks for answering! Well, I barely see him as it is. A few times a year maybe.

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Can I ask a question? How is your cousin doing?

Well, he seems ok. If you mean like if he's upset or something, he doesn't look it.

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I have read your other posts. So basically you like your cousin but you haven?t told him yet, am I correct? I was sort of asking how is he doing in life, is he just doing fine, has a girlfriend. By knowing that we can determine/debate whether or not confessing to him would not in any way make him uncomfortable.

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No, haven't told him. To be honest, I was so close to telling him yesterday, but I calmed down with some YouTube, haha. Oh, yeah he looks life is ok. I wouldn't know if he has a girlfriend, we barely see each other. I probably have a lot of competition though. I want to tell him, so then he can reject me and I can move on. That's how it usually ends up anyways, but this is a different situation. But, I don't want to screw up the relationship we have. We don't really have a close relationship, but it still is a relationship I cherish. Either way, I'm not sure what I should do.

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I have read your other posts. So basically you like your cousin but you haven?t told him yet, am I correct? I was sort of asking how is he doing in life, is he just doing fine, has a girlfriend. By knowing that we can determine/debate whether or not confessing to him would not in any way make him uncomfortable.

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I want to tell him, so then he can reject me and I can move on.

That is not the mentality or drive you?d want with your confession.

I will give you hints on what you should do: either a) confess or B) keep yourself busy.

In the case of option a, the Sharing feelings with a cousin thread would be enough to clear any doubts. If you?re confident enough, go for it. As long as your honest and sincere, and if he really is that good of a guy, I don?t see any reason that telling him would ruin your relationship with him.

And option b, you are really young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Although first love or love, relationships, etc. is really an important aspect of growing up, don?t forget it is still JUST a part. A lot of teens even grow up without it(not having the privilege to confess or missing out) but they still make it out as good or better than those who do. So keep yourself having other interests or set some goals to pursue. One day you will have a much broader view of life.

Hope I am of help.

P.S. Do you feel his life would be better without you or not?

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That is not the mentality or drive you?d want with your confession.

I will give you hints on what you should do: either a) confess or B) keep yourself busy.

In the case of option a, the Sharing feelings with a cousin thread would be enough to clear any doubts. If you?re confident enough, go for it. As long as your honest and sincere, and if he really is that good of a guy, I don?t see any reason that telling him would ruin your relationship with him.

And option b, you are really young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Although first love or love, relationships, etc. is really an important aspect of growing up, don?t forget it is still JUST a part. A lot of teens even grow up without it(not having the privilege to confess or missing out) but they still make it out as good or better than those who do. So keep yourself having other interests or set some goals to pursue. One day you will have a much broader view of life.

Hope I am of help.

P.S. Do you feel his life would be better without you or not?

[/quote\]

Thanks!! You've helped a lot ☺. I might actually tell him, I feel pretty confident that he won't be a jerk. But, I'll think about it some more. Well, I'm pretty sure that he doesn't mind that I'm in his life. He seems pretty happy when I'm around most of the time. Our relationship is a happy one, we annoy each other sometimes, but it's a good relationship nonetheless. So, I believe that we should stay in each others lives.

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Glad to hear that..  :grin: and good luck by the way. And don’t hesitate asking more questions.

This time, i’d like to share a trivia about myself: I was also 17 when I fell in love with my cousin.

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Glad to hear that..  :grin: and good luck by the way. And don?t hesitate asking more questions.

This time, i?d like to share a trivia about myself: I was also 17 when I fell in love with my cousin.

Thanks again  :grin:. Well, I guess falling for cousins makes sense. There's a sense of closeness and a relationship that's much harder to break, than the unrelated person-person relationship, I think anyway. I really hoped it worked for you!!

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I?m not giving away any spoilers though, cause i?m still trying to post it in Our Love Stories. It?s still incomplete but do go check it out!

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