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Parent's Disapproval Continue - Need Advice

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The premise:

- I'm 23, she's 20 (second cousin once removed - my mother's first cousin's grand daughter)
- We're Vietnamese, didn't grew up together, fell for her naturally when I went back to visit in VN. I'm in Australia.
- Was living with mom back then, she disapproves and went out to do a tonne to threaten the girl which results in the girl running away from home and myself broken inside.
- Living with dad now (mom dad is divorced), dad approves and support our relationship, to see how far we could go, if it doesn't work out then it doesn't and if it does it means we're meant for each other. Simple as that.
- My cousin gets weird looks from ppl in the town which is why she moved to the city. She lives in fear from my mother spying on her and threatens to kill her even though we both live in separate country.
- Because of the pressure from my mom, my cousin kept our relationship in silent for a very long time, sometimes she would message me or call me and after that more silent. She started seeing other people because she was alone by herself out there which made me feel like this is my fault and I feel hurt and frustrated at the same time. She recently called me and asked me if I still love her to which I said yes...I asked her what about her but she seem to dodge the question by bringing something else up. She told me she was lonely during the time when she ran away from home, depressed, she even took sleeping pills to forget about things, she cut herself...

Now, I am planning to go back there and speak directly to her about everything, I want to set things straight, I want to know the truth, I want to fight for the truth and we need to decide if we still really have feelings for each other, if she doesn't and gives up then I will let it go because I think I have hurt her enough...but all I ever wanted to do was to make her happy.

I was planning to go back in secret to solve this problem myself but because of my dad I have notified my mom that I might be going just so my dad won't get the blame. Now she knows and she's back at spying on my cousin (All this time she still does, more than a year). My cousin knows of this too and it is uncomfortable for the both of us.

I talked to my mom about it and all she ever does is beg me to stop with her life, she asked me who would I rather see die, my cousin or her? I myself die slowly each day knowing that if I don't set things straight I'd have a regret my whole life, I'm not breaking any laws, I need to do what's right for my life and defend the freedom to love. I told my mom that we were very far distant related, she told me it doesn't matter if it's close or far, it is sinful (she's Buddhist and seems to be very religious), I told her it is not, I believe that religion is there to help some aspects in our lives but we shouldn't use it to limit ourselves. There seems to be no way to convince my mom and with the outrages things she have done to the girl, my weak spot, I'm really pissed off.

What should my next step be?

Sorry for any bad English.


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