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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Leila

We both crush on each other but....

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I've already posted here once. But i still don't know what to do! I'm 29 and he is 34. 

We both like each other but we live across the country. We text every single day! Some days it gets more sexier then others. 

We both are in a relationship!! He would love to have me. But he doesnt want to be shun by the family, while I know we could work it out. So what's the deal really?! I will enjoy all the texting we can, which in constantly, but if you like me, why not take a chance. 

 

Ohhh and also, we each havs a child of our own.  We would love to meet up someday for a weekend. 

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The odds are against you.  The simple fact that you live across the country from each other is a huge obstacle.  I wouldn't hang my hat in the hopes that this can work out.  Children complicate the scenario because, I assume, you each want to be near your children and even if one of you were to move closer to the other, complications with custody will abound.

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"I will enjoy all the texting we can, which in constantly, but if you like me, why not take a chance." 

What do you expect him to do exactly?  Texting is a convenient way of communicating and he is across the country from you.  Dating, as its generally recognized, is not an option for you two.  Sure, you could meet up every couple of months for  a weekend rendezvous, but that does not a committed relationship make.  In my opinion, you need to stop the sexting and move on.  Focus on your child and your current BF.  If you're unhappy with your BF (which it seems like you are, since you're entertaining thoughts of another man) then break up and be single for a while.

If you want to pursue a relationship with this guy then you gotta break up with your respective SOs and try to make a go of it.  You state "He would love to have me"; this is usually meant in a sexual way.  If that is how it is to be interpreted, then do what you want, but don't expect happily ever after to come from it. 

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I agree with you! But hey! We will take what we can!!

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No ma'am!   We determine what we want, what we deserve and if we are going to pursue those things (and people) that are best for us. You have the power to choose what you want and what you will tolerate.  If you just want to settle for what you are being offered, you are setting yourself up for 2nd class citizenry.  Don't do that.  You deserve better.  

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ditto what serendipity said. do you really just want to be somebody's virtual blow-up doll? it's not a satisfying way to live. and it's not fair to your respective partners.

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On 5/10/2016 at 7:48 AM, Avenged Loss said:

It will be ok, y'all are both adults, with me it was 20(me) and 14(Grace) I'm 23 now and it didn't work out, I should have been more assertive, taken more risks

um, no. you shouldn't have. she was a child. you were an adult. get a grip.

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