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EdSchands14

Help. Does my cousin have a crush???

14 posts in this topic

I am in my mid 30's and recently there has been some noticeable changes in my teenage cousin (16). I have recently only seen her on holidays and special occasions as my life has been insanely busy while I work full time and was taking classes. I have been very close with my Aunt, and Uncle by marriage as most of our shared family is essentially gone. I am also very close with both my male cousin (21) and my other female cousin (18). 

As a family we share a great emotional bond of loss and I would say we are all very close, Im even invited to go on vacations. Within the last year hugs with her have gotten awkward. I hug my aunt, my other female cousin, depending on the occasion, I hug my male cousin and even my uncle. What I mean by awkward is that she does not squeeze at all, almost as if she's nervous. This is not my call to say so, but she never used to hug me this way. It's not just the hug as last Christmas she was dressed very provocatively with very short shorts and a loose-fitting sweater and the whole day her feet and legs seemed to be aimed at me (sitting on the floor with plenty of other options).  She gave me a gift that was extremely thoughtful and took an enormous amount of time to make. The whole family loves me and I always feel like a comedian around them as my humor is simply ON when we all spend time together and I get no such awkward vibes from my other female cousin. 

I'm worried that she has a crush on me and I don't know how to read this or handle it, and at times I tell myself that perhaps I am simply paranoid. I feel like if she did that my Aunt would have to know and would tell me. Everyhing I can find about tenuous hugs points to a girl being completely uninterested (hopefully) or worse, creeped out.  I cannot possibly imagine the latter is true and still for the last few holidays it seems to be getting worse. I don't want to ask her about it as I don't want to hurt her feelings or maybe even uncover something else (perhaps a phobia).

It is worth mentioning that she doesn't seem to be taking an interest in boys and while she had a very awkward stage (braces, growth spurts, and a boyish haircut), she is a beautiful young girl who I think hasn't quite figured it out. I'm guessing the boys will figure it out soon.

 

Anyhow, long story short this post doesn't fit here exactly, but this is where I found the most relevant information. I love her and worry a great deal, but all I want for her is to meet a nice boy, fall madly, and live happily ever after. Oh and hug me like she used to.  It will by two years before she leaves for college and with her sister alreadyi leaving, im fearful and  could really use some help understanding her actions.

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she may have a crush... or she may just be very aware of her physical changes and feeling awkward about pressing her body against someone else's in a hug. dressing provocatively is what teenage girls do... and sitting unladylike is probably something she's done her entire life and doesn't even realize how inappropriate it is.

either way, it needs to be nipped in the bud... maybe you should tell her mother. or her father. maybe you should talk to her yourself and tell her that her behaviour i provocative, let her know that you are aware it is probably intentional, but that if he really ant to make an impression on people she should behave more like a lady. and let her know in no uncertain terms that if it is you he i trying to impress, that there is no chance.

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It seems my post left out details that may have been important, but I really appreciate the advice (even though it wasn't at all what I hoped to hear).  I typed it on my cell phone half asleep and will try to elaborate more.

My cousin isn't a provocative girl in any way, not that I am aware of.  Her social media is mainly conservative and rarely does she post.  This could simply be due to the recent departure from awkwardness and provocative is yet to come, but I doubt it.  I work with troubled teenagers regularly and have seen what the social media of a provocative teen looks like, hers is not.  Typically she wears sun dresses in the summer and jeans in the winter.  Of course she does wear yoga pants often, which to me are the best and worst invention known to man and I see those as insanely provocative depending on how they are worn.  That being said generally she wears long shirts or tops with yoga pants that cover the parts that should be left to the imagination.  On the Christmas I mentioned, her shorts were basically boxers and her sweater was large enough to fall off a shoulder and entirely cover the shorts.  She was all legs and shoulders and it was distracting in more than one way.  I kept thinking about why my Aunt or Uncle didn't say something, but then again my family trusts me so entirely that if something were to happen to them I would be legal guardian to my cousins (only the 16 year old now).  She wasn't sitting unladylike, but then again I was trying not to look.  Most psychology articles on determining crushes say that when a girl points her legs or feet in your direction it can mean she is into you, which was why I mentioned this in an effort to provide background.  I know this well from dating as when a girl on a date crosses her legs towards you, its good news.  As for the gift she gave me, well it was the only one of the kind she gave out and required months of hard work to make.  I was blown away and oddly enough it had a very familiar and strong smell to it that she had no idea could effect me the way it does, but it was the only type of perfume that never fails to arouse me and the perfume of my very first girlfriend.  I've never even smelled perfume on my cousin, but again for the last few years I only see her on holidays and maybe a few times in the summer.  Side note, I could pick this perfume out in a crowd of thousands and it happens to be a popular choice now of elderly women (sold at Walgreen's).  More than once I have been ridiculously aroused walking behind someones grandmother just to take in a few more whiffs.  She was particularly proud of the gift and giddy all day in anticipation of me opening it.  According to my Aunt she had me in mind almost all along as she was making it.  Christmas was a confusing day for me to leave my family's house overwhelmed with shame and grappling with the fact that my teenage cousin actually had me actively trying not to look and yet still noticing.  Again, she has become a very beautiful young woman and I would be lying to say that I don't find her attractive.  I wish I knew of this site earlier as it might have made me feel better, but I have a psychologist friend who assured me that feelings of attraction to both cousins and minors are present in everyone.  He also said he felt like it was a truly difficult situation as the gift was wearable and I didn't want to offend, but the scent alone had me frantic for the whole night.  It retained that smell for weeks after and I ended up just putting it in a drawer so I wouldn't think about it. 

As for social media, I am friends with her on all the usual sites (Twitter, Instagram, and to a much lesser extent Facebook).  We really don't interact on social media much, but mostly because I am a bit reclusive. Her parents are not on any social media sites and just as they were oblivious to her dress on Christmas, they would be oblivious to her social media status and what it likely signifies.  Her twitter account seems to tell me the most.  She is greatly interested in love and thinking about it quite often.  She does not post much, but she reposts all the time.  It seems she is already on the path of being in love with love.  I surmise that she already believes that what she wants is not common or even remotely easy to find, which is a little heartbreaking.  It seems she is already disenchanted with boys and casting her gaze towards men.  I would not be surprised to see her get through high school without a boyfriend and I don't think she goes to dances at all or many social functions that aren't with the girls only.  Most of her twitter reposts are about men in their 20's, 30's, and even 40's (Patrick Dempsey, oh way he is 50).  These posts focus on sweet, altruistic, and gentleman behavior towards significant others (YAY!).  I don't find all of this troublesome, but I do worry that she might miss out on some of the incredible social opportunities that come with simply being a teen.   

I was really hoping to hear I was crazy and that her behavior is normal, but as I type this I see perhaps that isn't as likely.  I see why she might form a crush on me.  The old adage that women look for men like their fathers couldn't be more true in this instance as in many ways I am a mirror image of her father, with one exception... i'm single (and intent on staying that way).  In addition she has been well aware of my past relationships and how I treat my significant others (sweet and gentleman like).  Actually part of me does take solace in that if she has a crush on me maybe it will or already has influenced the type of man she will choose. 

Now I will restate my intentions and why I am ultimately here.  I don't want anyone of this forum to think I am looking down on their choices, because honestly if she were in her mid to late 20's and not almost like a daughter to me, my thought process might be entirely different.  She is a wonderful girl and looks aside there is a beautiful disposition in her that is so rare in my experience with women (her sister has it too).  I would be lucky to find a woman who was even a shade of her (if I were looking).  I do believe that this will work itself out in time as her plans are ambitious and will take her to another state in a few years and she will be in college for 4 years at least (probably 6), surely she will fall in love.  That is two years and 6 months away (not that I am counting).  I am terrified of any conversation with my Aunt or Uncle as not only would it change our world, but it would require me to bring up other topics I suspect they are not ready to discuss (specifically her seeming interest in older men).  They are incredible parents, but haven't had to deal with any real issues as both their other children are angels and both are still with high-school sweethearts. So this leads to my only other choice, to talk to my 16 year old cousin.  If I am honest, I am awful with conflict and right or wrong that is what this proposed conversation would be, conflict.  I think I already know my answer, but was hoping that the hug thing was more black and white than it is.  The hug is almost not a hug at all as of she is afraid I will figure something out, which seemed consistent with my behavior of never touching someone I liked when I was younger.  All the "crush" advice sites say that a crush would hug more and press tight in an almost inappropriate manner, which led me to being hopeful that maybe I was wrong.  Really I want to be prepared in the event that this will not work itself out and she acts on her possible crush or her behavior gets more bold.  Now I feel awkward about hugging her, but this is just what our family does... we hug.  I don't see her holding back with others, but how would I know?  I think if I don't hug her when a round of hugs is happening, it would raise concern and lead to the exact conversation I don't want.  If I were a parent I would feel horrible if my child hugged me this way and in many ways I feel like a parent to her, which makes it feel a little awful.   I suppose my awareness already will be an advantage as mainly I want to do what is best for her ego, her future, and of course her immediate well being.  

Long story longer the only solution I can think of that doesn't involve irreversible conflict would be the next time we hug to simply ask where my "good hugs" went.  I feel as if her answer to such a question might be telling.  Perhaps all of this is just in my mind and she has simply developed personal space issues and is so comfortable with me that wearing next to nothing isn't even a thought.  I can understand personal space issues as I have them, but never with loved ones.  I imagine if her response to such an inquiry were embarrassment that it would be very telling.   I wonder what others think of this approach.

I do feel that someone here has had to have experienced something similar and perhaps can offer me some peace of mind on this topic.  That and perhaps my account might help another get through something similar.

 

  Thank you for reading my loooong post. 

 

 

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i didn't. read your long post, i mean. i couldn't get through the second paragraph because you COMPLETELY contradicted EVERY thing you said in your first post. look, i'm not a licensed counselor. i'm not a psychologist. i'm just a woman with a past who understands the way young women think far better than you're ever going to, by virtue of the fact that you haven't walked in our sneakers or high heels. but your crawfishing here sounds very much like thou doest protest too much. are you feeling an attraction to this child? because at 16, she may be on the verge of womanhood, but she isn't there yet. and frankly, the more you write, the more obsessed you sound.

so, if your first post is accurate and the girl dressed "very provocatively" and her actions appeared to indicate she had some interest in you, then my advice remains. if, as your second post indicates, she does not dress provocatively nor shows any apparent interest in you, then you need to butt out because you have no right or reason to bring up any of your 'concerns' to her parents nor to confront her about them.

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21 hours ago, MyBuddy said:

I was really hoping to hear I was crazy and that her behavior is normal

i'm continuing to read your post. HER behavior is quite the norm. re-read my first response to you. your behaviour though... not so much.

 

21 hours ago, MyBuddy said:

Long story longer the only solution I can think of that doesn't involve irreversible conflict would be the next time we hug to simply ask where my "good hugs" went.  I feel as if her answer to such a question might be telling.

oh, bad, bad, BAD idea. you need to get over it. you need to quit perusing "crush" websites and quit reading psychology article and get over her.

21 hours ago, MyBuddy said:

Perhaps all of this is just in my mind and she has simply developed personal space issues and is so comfortable with me that wearing next to nothing isn't even a thought.  

again, re-read my first response to you. did you even read it the first time at all? i told you then that this could very well be her simply becoming aware of her physical attributes and being uncomfortable pressing herself against you in a hug. but then you go and make that connection again to her being provocative (next to nothing). you sound utterly confused, and contradictory. but just in case you need help sorting it all out, teenage girls are both intentionally provocative and awkward and often uncomfortable with close physical contact... all at the same time.

 she is acting like a normal teen. you're in your mid-30s... YOU don't get to act like a hormonal teenager any more. i hope for her sake you will avoid any more occasions to be around her.

 

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Wow.  What 180 degree turn from your first reply to your next.   I am trying to be transparent, but not in that I have desire for my cousin in any way.  I have a desire to avoid conflict, but perhaps you cannot understand what overwhelming panic and anxiety feels like.  I took to psychology website in hopes to figure out I was wrong, which is still my hope.  I love my cousins entirely and would take a bullet for all of them, did you catch the part where I would be legal guardian if anything happened to my Aunt and Uncle?  That is a matter of trust, which is why this is SO entirely important to me.

I read your first post multiple times before replying and the fact that you went to my Cousins provocative dress as what teens do, I found to be categorically untrue with my cousin.  So you persist with that line.  In fact on more than just the Christmas occasion she has been dressed in ways that are not typical, but only in small family settings that I am there for.  It could be comfort, but it seems limited to my presence.  There are photos posted from my uncles family holiday gathering the following night (also intimate and small) and she is dressed conservatively.  It may be that some teens dress that way, but my cousin has never really been that teen.  So it seems you are intent on being presumptuous and condescending, not to mention shaming.  Now I am back to feeling shame, thank you for that.  I thought this was a site of kindness and support, but maybe that is only for people who wish to be in a relationship with their cousin.  Just FYI, I read all your posts multiple time and have thought for almost a full day before responding. 

I admitted something very deeply revealing, but it was not that I am attracted to my underage cousin in way that breed desire.  I assumed that on site where people who are used to shame are looking for common ground would be a safe place, I was so very wrong.  I said feelings of attraction, not that I want to be with or pursue my cousin.  That is quite a leap.  It was the very real admission that she is attractive, but one that EVERY man on this planet would know and lie about.  I am not homosexual, but I can admit when a man is attractive.  Would you call me gay for that and tell me its desire?  There is a distinct difference between acknowledging attraction and wanting.  I am terrified of the possibility of her having a crush and the point of the lengthy post was to illustrate that fact and how much this has affected me.  The part about shame was entirely due to the perfume, which I thought I spelled out clearly.  I can smell that scent and be aroused ANYWHERE regardless of the circumstances.   You should do some research on the power of scent to trigger memories.  My first girlfriend at 16 would spray my bed sheets daily with this exact scent and I would drift asleep more in love than a cartoon princess twirling around all birds and songs.  Maybe YOU should  ACTUALLY read and not try to be an amateur psychologist.  I have been aroused by women in their 80's, not because of looks or connection, but because of the scent, which was only there to tell you that the power of THAT scent.  Beyond that I thought it was curious and telling that a gift from my cousin would be covered in perfume, considering I have never once smelled perfume on her, so much so that the gift retained its scent for weeks.  I happened to love the gift and actually wanted to wear it, but couldn't because the scent would arouse me and the gift would make me think of her.  I already detailed that that combination left me feeling shame, thankfully my psychologist friend allowed me to see that the two are unrelated.  Se doesn't wear make-up, and generally her appearance is one of comfort not "what teenage girls do".  That being stated I suffer from anxiety and panic so arousal in that scenario left me feeling like the person you so judgmentally portray me to be.  Thank god you are not a psychologist.  If my cousin were to profess her love for me I would likely cry most of the night and be overwhelmed by panic, because it would destroy the happy family I have left from my mothers side (who is departed).  That said, in the moment I would do everything to tell her to forget about such feelings and why.  I have already practiced this speech and how it would sound.  On the days before I see her I go over it in my head for comfort.  I tell her I love her and always will, but the kind of love a parent feels for a child or a family member feels for another.  I tried to tip toe around this statement earlier as I didn't want to appear to be shaming anyone here.  I would talk to her sternly and calmly and then her parents before anxiety overwhelmed me.  My thoughts of avoiding the conversation are not just fear, but because crushes fade and are typically replaced by reality.  I love my cousins like they were my own children, during their formative years I was around all the time and believe that parts of their humor and disposition come from me.  Perhaps I did a terrible job of portraying the importance of family as these are the people I care about the most.         

Again I have read your first response (OVER and OVER now).  I assumed it was a blanket statement that in no way applied to my situation and therefore I was offering additional information to see if you still thought I should talk to her or her parents.  I was attempting to portray my panic and fear so that you could understand what your supposed solution would do to me.  I didn't contradict ANYTHING I said in the first post, I contradicted your assumptions, but maybe that is the real issue here.  You feel so entitled by your own advice that rather than admit you could be wrong you would tear me down and accuse me of being a monster on the basis that you know teenage girls better than I.  Perhaps this is correct, but you don't know my cousin.  I said she dresses provocatively around me and that it is a departure from her typical dress.  I really don't  need your advice, more so I was looking for someone to convince me I am crazy and that her behavior is normal.  I still hope that is the case, but as I read my own words I see patterns that seem too much to ignore.          

"i hope for her sake you will avoid any more occasions to be around her."  Actually I do, which breaks my heart, because I love my family.  The topic is so delicate that I have no idea where to turn or who to talk to, so I look for answers in any way possible in hopes to discover some tiny indicator that I am wrong.  I avoid my own family because I am terrified that my cousin has a crush on me and if she becomes at all frontal about it, my world will implode because facing such a reality would be PURE conflict.  I surf her social media HOPING to see that she has met a boy, fallen in love, or even comes out as a lesbian.  Two would make any possible crush irrelevant and the third would make me flat out wrong, WHICH is my IDEAL scenario.

You are right about one thing, I am utterly confused. . . on how to handle this.  I came here hoping to find someone in a similar situation.  There are many posts here that begin at young ages and with age differences and advance over time.  It appears my coming here made me feel worse.  

I imagine you as an admin will now block me or delete my post in an effort to preserve your status and being right.  While I would still like advice from someone who actually can read and pay attention, I doubt that will happen as people will probably read your comments and judge me based on the common bond they have with you.  I will never have that common ground as I am not here looking to date my cousin, only to find if similar things had happened to others and how they handled it.  

Thank you for shaming me.

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Posted (edited)

I just realized your message said you didn't read my long post.  How dare you.  Accuse me of not reading or paying attention and the judge me while doing the exact same thing.

 

Yes, I am obsessed, but not in the way you would so ignorantly portray me.  Obsessed in preserving the only family life I have left from my Mothers side.  

Edited by MyBuddy
Accidentally reposted same message.
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i didn't ignorantly portray you. i responded to the part of the post i had read, then went back, finished reading your post, and responded to it. YOU are the one who keeps changing your story. YOUR initial post declared quite clearly that she was dressed "very" provocatively, or do you deny your own words? oh wait, you DO deny your own words in your second post. let me refresh your memory.

Quote

she was dressed very provocatively with very short shorts and a loose-fitting sweater and the whole day her feet and legs seemed to be aimed at me (sitting on the floor with plenty of other options).

you are disturbed that she, as a teenager, is posting stuff about older men, namely celebrities like patrick dempsey. uh, hello! sex symbol on tv, don't tell me you didn't drool over the likes of brooke shields and cindy crawford when you were her age, despite their being 20 years your senior.  you are upset and longing for the close physical contact of the hugs she used to give you and say you want those kinds of hugs again, and don't understand why she only gives you half-hugs without pressing herself up against you. i quoted your exact words in my last post. you are surfing the web (teenage crush sites? really?) determined to find out if her actions mean she's interested in you or not. that's what YOU have stated. you've also stressed out over whether you should report her behavior to her parents or confront her yourself about (according to your first post) her attraction to older men, possible attraction to you, and your concern that she's enamored with a 50 year old actor that nearly every girl of any age who has ever watched grey's anatomy has had the hots for is so strong that you feel you should interfere. 

listen, i read all of your second post. it took me two responses to finish it. i also read your most recent one. i did not read the whole whiney diatribe that you posted earlier today, and have no intention of doing so. i'm not the least bit concerned about how that makes you feel.

my concern is for the teenager that you are so worked up about.

and my concern for her is pretty strong right now. chances are, if her parents were to read all that you have written here, they would no longer want you to be legal guardian of their children. whine a little more about how unfair i am. let me make it more "unfair" to you. i am considering turning your IP address over to the authorities and let them notify her parents and investigate you. if you have nothing to hide, then that shouldn't be a big deal. 

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I'm still on the same screen and it tells me you have replied, but I care not to read it.  I debated as to whether to go this deep, but I would like to share one more thing to shed light on the ignorance of your replies.

I was raised by women, one in particular who was determined to raise me to be the perfect man. Well, sort of.  She hated men and had no issues transferring this hate to me.  Truly she didn't need to, because after a childhood of watching men abuse, use, and then discard my mother I was different than most men.  I was sensitive, emotional, anxietous, very quick to cry, and submissive in almost every way.  I vowed to NEVER treat a woman poorly and to my mothers delight she thought I was a perfect gentleman, at least she passed with this screwed up picture of pride.  After nearly 20 years of being abused, shamed, and looked down on by women I realize one thing.  The vast majority of women will say that they want this "nice guy", but so few really do.  In fact I would say that if I were any more feminine by nature that I would be transitioning (to a transgender woman).  For this reason I have no interest in women.  I made a decision over a year ago to be alone and it has been the happiest and most productive time in my life.  I can be lonely, but loneliness is preferable to misery.  I wish I were attracted to men, because so many of the characteristics that exist within me would be perfect for that relationship.  Many of my gay friends have said that I would be the perfect catch.  So as far as desire goes, the only desire I have experienced in the last  year was for a transgender woman, because SHE understood what I have been through.  She understood what it was like to be shamed for being emotional.  She understood what it was like to be told to "be a man".  Yes men are assholes, but so are women and in almost 20 years of dating I have NEVER been able to be myself.  For the record, I am very good looking, very successful and I have NO problems getting dates (if I want a date). 

I said something in one of my prior posts that if my cousin were 25 and not like a daughter to me this might be a different story.  Partly to let the kind people of this forum know that I have no issues with cousin couples.  I also mentioned that her and her sister are both exceptional people.  Her sister's boyfriend is a nice guy, does cry a lot, and might be more sensitive than me.  The pride I have in her ability to accept him for who he is, is immense, because people have no idea just how rare that is.  I will NEVER have desire for either of my cousins, but if I could meet a woman with the open mind and capacity for love that both possess, I would be the luckiest man alive.  That is the only reason I would be happy for my cousin to have a crush on me, because maybe she will look for the same type of man her sister found before he is broken like me.   

Based on your posts I would guess you are religious.  I would also guess you are the type who has no problems justifying your own indiscretions that fall outside of the lines of whatever religion you practice and I promise you I am not talking about marrying your cousin,  I am not religious, but very knowledgeable when it comes to many religions.  I speak more of the type of indiscretion of judging and shaming without even taking the time to understand what the hell you are talking about.  

My advice to you, NEVER give advice again.  Clearly your own agenda is all that matters to you and by the way you operate you could irreversibly harm someone much more impressionable than myself.  I'm done.  I will not respond to anything else by you as you are not worth all this time and energy, but if this stays up I will continue to look for people of moral integrity who actually can put their ego's aside and try to help people as opposed to tearing them down to lift themselves.       

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are you done yet? 

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Forum readers, I give you exhibit A on the destructiveness the Single Mother State has caused. Instead of having a proper childhood, a proper nuclear family upbringing, this man had to be the emotional support of his mother who couldn't lock down a man of her own. She brainwashed him to be the "ideal man", the opposite of the damaged men she repeatedly chased and was attracted to. MyBuddy, you seem angry and bitter and have deep psychological wounds.. but there is a way to re-gain your masculinity that your irresponsible mother took from you. 

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Ed, I understood what you said and meant. I think I can give you some advice. I am a 21 year old and I have and have had a crush on my now 40 year old cousin since I was 15. I don't think you should bring it up to her or her parents first of all; (especially not her parents she would probably hate you!) You give a lot of info but not much useful unfortunately... How does she look at you? How does she behave around you, hugs aside? What does she say to you? Also, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Chances are,if she does has a crush on you, she's not going to act on it and wouldn't want anything to come of it anyway, and it will likely subside. However, if you feel like she is hinting at it or beginning to confess just kind of nicely curve her before she says too much to take back and it gets awkward... Like if she starts to tell you she really likes you, just tell her you really like her to and that she is like your own daughter and you would always feel that way. She will get the message without feeling rejected (I had a teacher tell me something like this before so trust me it's the beat way) Don't make a big deal out of it, or you'll make her feel bad. I hope you read this, and I hope it helps.

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EdShands,

I hope you come back to this thread and read my response. 

You are waaaaayyyy overthinking this.  She's 16 and dressing like a 16 yr old girl.  I've discovered that most parents these days do not require their children to dress modestly in front of family/company.  (The son of my oldest friend is NEVER wearing a shirt when I enter their home.  NEVER.  He's now  22 years old should know better, and my friend should insist that he put on a shirt - but she doesn't and I try to ignore him as much as possible when I'm there).

Toe pointing and psychology?  Really?  Overthinking dude.

You just need to act like the adult here.  If her shorts are too short, look away and chat with people your own age.  That's what an adult would do.  

Have you never learned how to be platonic when a teenager has a crush on you?  Speak to her in generalizations, only give her side hugs and turn your attention away from her asap.  Many people have dealt with this; as a teacher I encounter this every so often with a student.  You just have to be kind adnd polite, set boundaries and realize that a child/teen's affections are nothing that should ever be a second thought to us.  We have adult relationships to fulfill our social needs.   

Seriously.  This is not about how sad you are not to have the hugs from her like you use to.  Matter of fact, that's kinda creepy.  Kids grow up and our interactions with them change.  That's life.  And a mature adult does not dwell on a relationship with a 16 year old teenager.

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It sounds like you like her. She might feel some kind of way about you, or not. Show any young insecure girl attention and she'll probably reciprocate the attention. But you have a responsibility to not do that. This is your little cousin. Maybe if she was substantially older and the feelings were mutual it's something to think about. You need to let it go. I have an older cousin who I knew from childhood. As I got older he started coming on to me, and became a bit obsessed with me. I didn't notice at first until one day it became so obvious and make me so uncomfortable I told him not to talk to me anymore. Despite my declines on his attempts and even my blocking of his number he will call me from blocked numbers to this day to leave disgusting voicemails. 

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