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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

      Be informed on better ways to stay safe on the web -- Source: Mozilla
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In love with my cousin...

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Hi, im in love with my cousin and he loves me. Im about to be 21 and he is 21. We've been "together" since we were in 8th grade. I say "together" because we've been a secret, we got caught a long time ago and my parents were so disappointed and basically forbid me from even being friends with him. He is my best friend. We both have been in relationships with other people before and we both have backed off and let the other be because we wanted the other to be happy, honestly he makes me happy. We were always together when we were younger and we are still really close but just keep it a secret because we dont want anyone to think anything is going on because the disapointment would kill us and we would basically be banned from the family if anyone knew. Anyways hes wanted to stop twice before because we know we cant be together but have always caved because we were happy. Now he wants to stop again and this time hes serious i believe and i want to not think of him in that way and just stay best friends but its extremely hard. It just hurts knowing i can never have my one true love....

i just wanted to share my story and get input on how i can stop.....

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you are both 21 now, and chances are good that if you came clean with your family they will concede that after all these years, it's the right thing. especially if you provide them with any information they may be unaware of. (see the letter to mom pinned somewhere on one of the boards here.) 

and even if they don't, they really don't get a vote. if your boyfriend really loves you, then he needs to be man enough to stand up to the family and tell them to give their blessing or get over it. families will usually stop the emotional blackmail when push comes to shove. no parent ever wants to risk losing their relationship with their child.

if your boyfriend is not willing to man up to the family, then maybe he's not actually the right guy for you.

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Thanks for replying, i was looking up information or something i actually dont know what i was really looking for when i came across this page and reading everyones stories and experiences just made me realize how common this is and made me relieved a little bit that we arent the only ones i tried to tell him about this page but couldnt really tell him, he was interested but i really want to stop n didnt want to make it even more difficult than i already have....

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i think bringing him here is an excellent idea. it may help him to realize that his feelings for you are GOOD, and that there is nothing his family can (or should) do to prevent the two of you from being together, providing you aren't in a state that prohibits you two from marrying. our info pages provide a list of the states that allow cousins to marry. and moving could always be a consideration if you don't live in a cousin friendly state. or if your family isn't willing to accept your relationship.

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