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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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SweetasGold

Fell for my cousin at the Fam Reunion

3 posts in this topic

So I recently had a family reunion and during it, fell for my second or third cousin. idk which, but his mother's aunt is my mother's first cousin. We'll call him Frankie. Anyway, I had met Frankie before maybe 2 or 3 times, the last time being when we were 12 I believe. Now we're 25. But he lives in another state. Anyway, I remember kind of crushing on him as a kid but I got over it bc he wasn't close by and we were just kids. Now, we all hung out and partied at the reunion and there were some moments where I was drunk but he was sober and we were play wrestling and I touched his body and I was like, good god, this is amazing. He's soooo nice and I think part of it is bc he's my cousin but another part is just bc my cousins are from the country and they were raised with more manners than the average young man.

Anyway, he started texting me during the reunion, at first, just to see where I was bc we were all out partying and then we just started having regular conversations. The reunion ended on Saturday and he went back home but we've been texting ever since. Now it's getting to the 'flirty' level, although we have not crossed that line. But I'm pretty sure he has some type of interest in me bc there's no way I'd text any of my other cousins this much. It'd b weird, we only talk maybe like once a week bc there isn't much to talk about. But I really wanna get to know him. 

I told a few of my friends about it and they said I should stop talking to him bc it isn't right and it won't go newhere bc we r related. But my feelings are super strong right now. Idk if it is just lust or what, but I'm finding it hard to not talk to him. But I'm also freaked out at what could happen. We are closely enough related that our family would be ticked off if they knew. The family reunion next year would be awkward as hell. 

But another (sick?) part of me is like, what if we hit it off and we have a secret relationship and just branch off from the family? What if they never knew and we could be happy together? It's so far fetched though. Is this possible? Would this screw up my family? 

Anyway, I don't know what to do. I feel like one of us is going to cross that line eventually. Like one of us is going to say we like the other one and once you do that, there's no going back. There will be sexual tension at the next reunion and I still would like to be able to go and not be the family pariah. I want to go out again with my other cousins but I feel like people might notice if there is something weird going on between us. 

I have so much anxiety over this situation. I have dated men before, but for the last two years, I thought I was gay and I was only interested in women. Now on top of liking my cousin, I'm questioning my sexuality again. Any advice? Should I nip this in the bud and just stop talking to him?

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your kinship is so distant i don't even want to try to figure out the logistics of it. what the heck did you go telling people you were related for? in terms of legalities or moralities or biologies, you're kinship is about as relevant as mine is to you.

 if you want to date, then date. if you don't, then don't. but there's no sense making things more difficult than they need to be. 

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well I told him how I felt a few days ago and he said he had felt attracted to me at the reunion as well. so we were talking and flirting for awhile but now I'm trying to move forward with getting to know each other and going on a date. I just can't tell if that's what he wants though. He says he's a go with the flow kinda guy and he says things that just come off as him trying to make himself seem unappealing. For example, he mentioned his ex and the mother of his child is crazy and that him not being with her causes drama. and I'm just like, that's your responsibility to handle that. It doesn't seem like something you would tell someone you might want to date just because nobody wants to deal with baby mama drama. I want something to happen between us, at least a date, but part of me thinks it will be a ton of drama, not bc we're cousins, but because of his bm situation and other women he talks to. He's my cousin but Im starting to think that doesn't make it any less likely that he would try to play me. 

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