• Announcements

    • KC

      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

      Be informed on better ways to stay safe on the web -- Source: Mozilla
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Guest Aiden Jones

I'm not sure what to do here.

8 posts in this topic

I was sexually involved with a cousin for a few years. It ended when I met my now girlfriend. She recognizes that there is more between my cousin and I than your typical family member relationship. She was for a while convinced I've cheated on her with my cousin. She's made her views on it clear, that she finds it disgusting and if she knew something happened it would be the end of our relationship.

I understand why in the context of if I'd been unfaithful, but I haven't. In fact her suspicions stem from nothing more than her sitting in my lap at a family event and having a brief conversation. Very tame compared to our typical behavior even before we were ever sexually involved or had even confessed our feelings for each other. There was nothing sexual about it. She was actually telling me how much she liked my girlfriend because of a long history of abusive relationships I've been in. 

I don't feel guilty about my previous involvement, but I'm wondering if it's unfair to her to not talk about my history with her. Is it any of her business?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you allowed your cousin, whom you'd had a previous sexual relationship with, to sit in your LAP at a family event? WHILE you were involved with your current girlfriend? no offense, but i'd dump you too. tame, yeah, maybe. but here's a word of advice. when you're in a relationship, you don't let ex-girlfriends (or anyone else over the age of 5) sit in your lap.

i can only imagine how quickly you'd have dumped her if she had been sitting in an ex-boyfriend's lap.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If it were one of her cousins, I probably wouldn't even think to question it even with my own experience. And it was an assumption(regardless of how correct it may have been) on her part that we were involved. And Hell, my oldest sister sits in my lap occasionally and there's no history like that between us, nor would there ever be. I do understand to an extent where you're coming from though LadyC

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

that you understand 'to an extent' where *I* am coming from is not really relevant. you don't understand why your girlfriend got mad. i'm telling you. this is how women think. with the exception of those women who enjoy open relationships, no woman is going to take very kindly to seeing another woman in her man's lap. that's just basic fact. that's how women think. and if you ever want to enjoy a healthy relationship with a woman, you're going to have to learn to respect how women feel whether you can understand it (to any extent) or not.

as to the original question though, it's not necessary to kiss and tell about previous relationships unless directly asked. you should, however, have a heart to heart about letting someone sit in your lap and apologize for having offended her in that way, and assure her you'll be more sensitive to her feelings in the future.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I did apologize. As did my cousin. We've berm much more respectful in that aspect since then.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please register Aiden. I have to approve all of these guest posts. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

maybe we should require registration to post?

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0