Pwitty93

Can't bring him anywhere :/

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What should i do?   1 member has voted

  1. 1. What should i do?

    • Accept it, it'll be fine.
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    • Run for the hills!
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    • I don't know.
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    • Love can concur all.
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13 posts in this topic

I am dating my second cousin. I have never met him before until i started working with him at my job because of a family fuid many many years ago. My father works with us too and had warn that he was my cousin. Well, i started talking to him and i have even tried hooking him up with a few of my friends, as he did me too. But one night i blurted out i liked him and now we have been together for almost 8 months.  Most of my main family and friends i see on a regular basis know. My friends accept it and my family accepts me. My mom has come around and has asked to hang with us and she has once.

But here's where i need some words of incouragement or advice, i'm not quite sure exactly what i'm looking for. I was in many relationships before him and never have i been through this hole i can't have my boyfriend at any family events and stuff. I don't understand, everyone always asks me how are things going with us and about him, but they don't want to see him. I'm pretty sure everyone is just about over the disguist and shock except for my father, he hold a grudge over this.

It saddens me to know that i may not get to have that big wedding unless we pay for it and event hen i won't have a lot of family members there or maybe not even my own faher to walk me down the asle, or want to come to see his grandchildren when there born just because he can't get over anything. But mainly what scares me is even after marriage and kids and my dad can't get over who i'm with and let him come around is our kids asking why before me and my man are ready to explain to them that we are cousins and thats why daddy can't come.

I guess i want to hear from someone who has kids and have been through what i have and how they handled it all.

Thanks!

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I gues nobody wants to or can give me any reinsurance or anything? I thought this website was filled with cousin couples and not one person can help me.

Awesome.

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Wait up yo.. still reading.  :cheesy:

Edit: So, I have to admit that I am pretty useless with giving you advice or anything. We are still in the close cousins and uncles/aunts knowing stage, both our parents and the majority of our family are still in the dark. However, I’m just in total awe at both of you and your courage to "come out" and such. Its funny cause we just talked about getting married soon and her dad killing me. Also please be patient, the right people to give you thorough advice are just not online yet.

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I would like to add/share: our method with family is just slowly touching their hearts, one by one. It is working great for us so far.

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Wait up yo.. still reading.  :cheesy:

Edit: So, I have to admit that I am pretty useless with giving you advice or anything. We are still in the close cousins and uncles/aunts knowing stage, both our parents and the majority of our family are still in the dark. However, I?m just in total awe at both of you and your courage to "come out" and such. Its funny cause we just talked about getting married soon and her dad killing me. Also please be patient, the right people to give you thorough advice are just not online yet.

Well, we didn't do it by choice. We wanted to wait a lot longer to see if me and him would even work out, but my dad and mom caught on anyways and point blank asked us if we were dating and i just didn't lie and told them. They procceeded in kicking me out for about 5 months which i lived with him and his parents for that time. His parents sat down and talked to us and said" it's weird, but weirder things happened." Now they love me! My parents just missed me. But they have came around a lot. My mother actually has gone shopping with us and my dad can actually speak to me about chris with out even making rude remarks when he hears his name.

I just hope it continues to get better.

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Well, we didn't do it by choice. We wanted to wait a lot longer to see if me and him would even work out, but my dad and mom caught on anyways and point blank asked us if we were dating and i just didn't lie and told them. They procceeded in kicking me out for about 5 months which i lived with him and his parents for that time. His parents sat down and talked to us and said" it's weird, but weirder things happened." Now they love me! My parents just missed me. But they have came around a lot. My mother actually has gone shopping with us and my dad can actually speak to me about chris with out even making rude remarks when he hears his name.

I just hope it continues to get better.

From what i?m hearing from you right now, you?re not really in a bad spot. Yours is a really good story though, I hope it works out that well for us. I suggest you don?t marry without both of your parent?s blessings. And to get that, work hard, show to them that you both really deserve each other and are willing to sacrifice!

I really hope i?m making any sense for a 23 year old.

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From what i?m hearing from you right now, you?re not really in a bad spot. Yours is a really good story though, I hope it works out that well for us. I suggest you don?t marry without both of your parent?s blessings. And to get that, work hard, show to them that you both really deserve each other and are willing to sacrifice!

I really hope i?m making any sense for a 23 year old.

Yes, your making perfect sense. Actually that lifted my spirits. I hope the best for you when you and your cousin come out the "the closet" lol.

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Glad to hear that. I?m still pretty nervous about things but seeing her smile at the end of the day, it?s all worth it. Good luck to the both of us. Off to sleep I go.  :wink:

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Get your nose in the books, the both of you.  Get some qualifications / vocational training / gain some skills so that you can each support yourselves and each other.  Sounds like your family has your best interests at heart to me, they won't stand in your way of happiness when they see that you are both committed to creating a great life together and can support each other, financially and emotionally.

Lori :)

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Pwitty93

First of all, you have to be patient on this forum.  Many of us work during the day and are not here all the time to respond to new posts.  Sometimes it takes a little while for the responses to come in.

Secondly, your first post was a bit confusing.  You say that everyone is OK with the relationship - that even your mom is coming around - but then you go on to say that you can't have him at family gatherings.  These are contradictions.  It's only later in your responses to lightning that you explain the conflict that arose from your parents finding out about the two of you. 

I'm not sure how old you are. Your age does make a difference in how people will respond to you.  It appears that you are young enough to still the need financial support of parents.  So, if you would be so kind as to let us know how old the two of you are, you may get some better help from us.

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Get your nose in the books, the both of you.  Get some qualifications / vocational training / gain some skills so that you can each support yourselves and each other.  Sounds like your family has your best interests at heart to me, they won't stand in your way of happiness when they see that you are both committed to creating a great life together and can support each other, financially and emotionally.

Lori :)

Thank you Lori, we are very financially stable and emotionally. I was more worried about what do I do if we have kids in the future. If my dad can't get over the cousin title and we have to tell our kids before we see fit because of my fathers choices. But I will look into those books. Thank you so much!

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Pwitty93

First of all, you have to be patient on this forum.  Many of us work during the day and are not here all the time to respond to new posts.  Sometimes it takes a little while for the responses to come in.

Secondly, your first post was a bit confusing.  You say that everyone is OK with the relationship - that even your mom is coming around - but then you go on to say that you can't have him at family gatherings.  These are contradictions.  It's only later in your responses to lightning that you explain the conflict that arose from your parents finding out about the two of you. 

I'm not sure how old you are. Your age does make a difference in how people will respond to you.  It appears that you are young enough to still the need financial support of parents.  So, if you would be so kind as to let us know how old the two of you are, you may get some better help from us.

I'm sorry you find my post confusing, I think it makes pretty good sense. But my cousin is 22 and I am 20. I'll be 21 in February. I lived with him and his parents for about 6 months but had to move back home because I had gotten into some trouble and do need my parents financial help for the moment being. Although he just bought a house for me and him but I can't move in until my money is basically mine again. But before that I was going to be living on my own.

Hope this helps some!

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