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shahindia12

First cousin marriage legal or illegal in India?

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hey guys please help me out.. i'm in love with my first cousin...from last five years... last year we both came to US..she is a doctor, preparing for specialization  and i'm a graduate student at university of southwestern medical center dallas texas.. i'm a prosthesist..... she is  my mother's brother's daughter... we are hindu brahmins, sharma (North India)..she was born and brought up in mumbai and i was born and brought up in Jaipur..  we both are 24 years old and our family planning to get us married in three years.... please guys help us out..any descent couple who wanna trade for there love let me know...by this way we can keep our families happy too... after three years we  both may get the greencard so if u marry us we can come back to US and can spend our life happily with our loves. guys please reply....plssssssssssssssssssssssssss...i really need sum1's help... i hope sum1 will show up as an angel of my life.... m very scared of spending my life without her... so guys pls reply asap....

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hey guys please help me out.. i'm in love with my first cousin...from last five years... last year we both came to US..she is a doctor, preparing for specialization  and i'm a graduate student at university of southwestern medical center dallas texas.. i'm a prosthesist..... she is  my mother's brother's daughter... we are hindu brahmins, sharma (North India)..she was born and brought up in mumbai and i was born and brought up in Jaipur..  we both are 24 years old and our family planning to get us married in three years.... please guys help us out..any descent couple who wanna trade for there love let me know...by this way we can keep our families happy too... after three years we  both may get the greencard so if u marry us we can come back to US and can spend our life happily with our loves. guys please reply....plssssssssssssssssssssssssss...i really need sum1's help... i hope sum1 will show up as an angel of my life.... m very scared of spending my life without her... so guys pls reply asap....

my email id is [email protected]

plz reply asap.... plzzzzz

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Guest piyali

anyone here from kolkata? i m in love with my second cousin from my maternal side. and we have been secretly dating for the past 4 5 years almost.. i know our families wont accept this.. but we wanna marry. is there anyone from kolkata in a similar situation as ours? please reply...

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Guest dinesh

i love my mother's sister's daughter.we really want to marry each other.is there anyone from bangalore or tamilnadu in a similar situation as ours?plz contact me:[email protected]

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Guest dodi

hi i too love my mothers sister son. but our parents and society betrated us. so we married in a church and living happily  without thinking about the society. now we are happy

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Guest Gursewak Singh

I am more than happy to see this blog .

actually your parents do not have any problems over your marriage in this case , this is the society who force our parents to deny it saying that it will ruin their reputation in the society .

this is all about the bloody fake honour of the society , they do not see their own sister or wife who goes and sleeps some where else but they are more concerned about that what going out their in the town or in neighbourer's house .

I myself married my first cousin (my mother's siter's daughter) .our parents had to accept it as we both stuck to our decision .and told our parents that if they will not allow us to marry then we will never marry in the whole life . now we are living happily .

i want to let you people know that in some parts of punjab north india sikhs also allow these type of marriages . now i know many of these type of couples .

and registration of marriage also not difficult , go to some big city pay some lawyer and get you marriage registered , it is that simple .money makes mare go .

wish you all best of luck , if you love dare to get it .

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I am more than happy to see this blog .

actually your parents do not have any problems over your marriage in this case , this is the society who force our parents to deny it saying that it will ruin their reputation in the society .

this is all about the bloody fake honour of the society , they do not see their own sister or wife who goes and sleeps some where else but they are more concerned about that what going out their in the town or in neighbourer's house .

I myself married my first cousin (my mother's siter's daughter) .our parents had to accept it as we both stuck to our decision .and told our parents that if they will not allow us to marry then we will never marry in the whole life . now we are living happily .

i want to let you people know that in some parts of punjab north india sikhs also allow these type of marriages . now i know many of these type of couples .

and registration of marriage also not difficult , go to some big city pay some lawyer and get you marriage registered , it is that simple .money makes mare go .

wish you all best of luck , if you love dare to get it .

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Guest ritshal

i am also in love with my first cousin ( father's sister's son).. all these feelings first came into his heart n den due to his care, love n inclination towards me i started feeling the same...now both of us are badly in love with eachother...his parents n family know about our love and are not so much against us...her mother is afraid of my father...she says that she will accept us but she is afraid of my father...my mother also knows that i carry feelings for my cousin but she is also against my decision...she says that we are not muslims...my dad is very intutive..he doubts about my feelings for my cousin nd thats why my father has started hating him...please show me some way...my few cousins knw abt my love nd they support me...i just know one thing that we are made for eachother and cant live without eachother...we are i relationship from last 3 yrs...

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please guys i wrote my story for five times but nobody is responding...i'm again penning down..please come forward...i really need someone to help me out... guys i'm in love with my first cousin..i'm truly madly and deeply in love with her.. i just cant think of anyone else... she is my mother's brother's daughter.. we both are studying in US...she is studying medicine and i'm a biomedical engineer.. we both are 24years old... belong to mumbai.. marwadis (sharma)

my mother and her mother knows about it but they are totally against it...  and both of them forcing us to marry a person of their own choice.. we both love our parents that's we don't have guts to hurt them and elope... please guys come forward and help me  out...please please please...my email id is [email protected]

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Guest rathnahemanth

Hi as747,

So what are you expecting? Just few words to help you get through this??..

It may sound harsh but strictly there is only one thing you can do , Go to a US state which approve cousin marriages, and register your marriage.I assure you in 5 - 10 yrs your parents will come back running to you because they need you in their old age and they will understand the pain you experienced which forced you to take this decision.

IT IS WHAT IT IS.. DEAL WITH IT !!  I was in your position like 2 -3 yrs back but now I found that its all in our mind just get out and live a life.. Its not so easy to leave the person you love, I am sure it will traumatize your rest of the life if you walk out of the person whom you love now. I know parents are so hard and good to leave but what choice have they given us in this position??

I can sense the eagerness in finding an easy solution to fullfil yours and your parents happiness but the true fact YOU CANNOT DO THAT.Choose one in your life and move on.

If you are looking for someone to swap for marriage, I have thought lots about it but the hard truth it will not work. It will bring more legal and personal problems.

I will pray God for the strength and I assure you someday everything will be so beautiful and will remain forever.

please guys i wrote my story for five times but nobody is responding...i'm again penning down..please come forward...i really need someone to help me out... guys i'm in love with my first cousin..i'm truly madly and deeply in love with her.. i just cant think of anyone else... she is my mother's brother's daughter.. we both are studying in US...she is studying medicine and i'm a biomedical engineer.. we both are 24years old... belong to mumbai.. marwadis (sharma)

my mother and her mother knows about it but they are totally against it...  and both of them forcing us to marry a person of their own choice.. we both love our parents that's we don't have guts to hurt them and elope... please guys come forward and help me  out...please please please...my email id is [email protected]

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as747,

I don't know nearly enough about your culture to give any sort of advice you seek. That is probably the reason many here, who are for the most part from the US, have not replied. I do however know enough about life to agree with SurvingFortheBest. You really have one of two options. Be happy, and marry the one you love, or be miserable, and marry the one who will make your Mother happy. If it were me, I would do everything in my power to become a citizen of the United States, move to a state where it is legal, and be welcomed to this great melting pot we call America. I know full well, this is as daunting a task as being from your culture and in love with your cousin. I really think that the only way things are going to change in your culture is for the fearless to be brave and buck the system, and show that, while it isn't for everyone, there is nothing wrong with taking your cousin for a mate, and life partner. Do you really want to make your family happy enough to be forced to marry someone they want you to, who you will resent, and not love, and then for the rest of your life, resent your family every time you see them? Just so they can have a smile on their face, while, the whole time you would like nothing more than to choke them for what they have made you do? And what of the mate they would choose for you? Could they really be happy, knowing you were basically blackmailed into marrying them? I would not live like that. Maybe that is a product of being raised in this society, where you make your own way, and don't have to be forced into any relationship by anyone. You make your choice, and you live with it. A mother who would choose tradition, based on some false sense of,,,,,I don't understand what, over the happiness of her child, has a problem I cannot understand either. I'm not with my cousin, but it isn't because our family would have stopped us. Our mother's knew something was going on at the time too. Whether they agreed or not, their opinion was basically "As long as you make each other happy."(At least I remember my Mom saying something to that affect when she found out, and her Mom didn't say anything, just sat there with a funny grin, speechless.) That is how a mother should feel. As in, "I may not agree, but if it makes you happy..." It sounds like family in your culture says, "I want you to be happy, but I want me to be happy MORE." That part of it, I just don't get. Anyone who tells you "It doesn't matter what you want, you need to make ME happy", really doesn't have your best interest at heart. You may do it your way, and fall flat on your face, and they may say "I told you so." Unless you try and succeed, or try and fail, how will you know if you can do it or not?

As aspiring medical professionals, you two surely know that bloodletting use to be the traditional first response to most any ailment. That did not change until society realized the treatment was worse than the disease. I dare say most all enlightened people now know that tradition was foolishness, based on misguided notions of what was right. A similar situation is happening with you. So long as these traditions, not based on fact or science, continue, good folks like you will suffer bad treatment. 

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Guest satya283

@as747, I don't see anything wrong in your relation with your cousin. (Mother's male-sibling's daughter or vice versa). May be that is because I am from South India. Such relations/marriages (between cross cousins) are encouraged and are very common here. In fact, until recently parents themselves used to look for a worthy bride/groom who are in such relation. The only opposition now a days is they are fearing of genetic problems. Still a lot of such marriages are common. But you can't marry your parallel cousin. Both law and custom reject such marriages. Please explain this to your parents and introduce any such couple (you can find many south indians from andhra/tamilnadu or karnataka) to convince them.

All the best..

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hi guys

we r also from south India but its not accepted in our culture. we are first cousins and we live in US.

We told our parents 2 yrs back n they r always thinking of something to separate us we r planning to get married here in US as some of the states accepts i understand ur problme its hard n i guess it illegal in India to marry first cousin.

All the best

nikki

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Hello Everybody.. It seems nd read alot about cousin relation and feel happy they are successful in ever aspect of lyf.

I am also in love with my first cousin for 7 years, and when i spoke about our relation in my family .. she felt i ditched her by discussed in my family and later i spoke to her family and so family drama and she left me. I told her that i only committed and accept our relation in front of our family.

Our family never allowed and she is also with me, that we cousin can marry and have successful lyf ..

It's been 1 and half year we left each other but i tried to contact her but she wont' listen me ..

Lyf sucks these days to me.

Can anyone help me .. how i can out of this situation ..

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Guest mohit

I dont care whether its legal or illegal..if she loves me..i will marry her..its as simple as that! If homosexuality can be legalised in India..then i am sure even cousin marriages can be legalised.

Surely indian law should accept it now

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Guest dinesh

hai Archana...

i'm dinesh from tamilnadu but now i'm working in bangalore.i love my (mother's sister's daughter).she asked her parents to marry me but no one will accepts this.i want to know about your success story.can u plz mail me :[email protected]

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Guest veeruization

hiiii all of u my frnds.

i have a solution abt all ur problms,

by the profession i m a lawyer(adv. specialist im matrimonial affairs) practising at gwalior high court, m.p

the issue is that can we marry with cousins(brother or sister in maternal or paternal relations) in hindu.

so the hindu law is saying..... no u cant do this... it is prohibited by hindu personal law so far as by our customs too.

in south india its jst possible due to the custom prevailing there that allow them to do so. but for the hindu boys n galswho resides in north part of india or in central india. for them  there is only one remedy. n that is

to get married through aarya samaj(available in every district of india). and receive a marrige certificate from them. they generally issue this certificate with in 3 to 5 working days. but if u approach them through an advocate they'll issue with in hour after getting married(that particular day). the expences that u have to bearfor this is  b/w 5000 - 15000 rupees(including advocate fee). due to non-acceptance for this marrige from ur gaurdians u have to do this with privacy. in recent cases i saw that, some of the cousins couples get married only when, then they ran away from their home. and in most of the cases the family members  of girl side file the fir of abduction/kidnapping. n file a habeas corpus writ in the high court. in consequences of this couple have to face many problems.  this is a problem which occured in such kind of marriges. so there is a remedy for that too. after getting the marrige certificate u immediately file the application in the the  concerned high court for the protection. the benefit of this is that  when the family of either of ur parents go to the police station for filing the FIR police cant file it. because the police has got the high court ordr that both them get married. so do not file any complaint on this matter.

for more information (like what kind of documents or ather thing else u have required gor get married in arya samaj) n suggestion or legal advise call me on my no. 9926288355. b/w 11 am to 7 pm.

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Guest veeruization

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hiiii all of u my frnds.

i have a solution abt all ur problms,

by the profession i m a lawyer(adv. specialist im matrimonial affairs) practising at gwalior high court, m.p

the issue is that can we marry with cousins(brother or sister in maternal or paternal relations) in hindu.

so the hindu law is saying..... no u cant do this... it is prohibited by hindu personal law so far as by our customs too.

in south india its jst possible due to the custom prevailing there that allow them to do so. but for the hindu boys n galswho resides in north part of india or in central india. for them  there is only one remedy. n that is

to get married through aarya samaj(available in every district of india). and receive a marrige certificate from them. they generally issue this certificate with in 3 to 5 working days. but if u approach them through an advocate they'll issue with in hour after getting married(that particular day). the expences that u have to bearfor this is  b/w 5000 - 15000 rupees(including advocate fee). due to non-acceptance for this marrige from ur gaurdians u have to do this with privacy. in recent cases i saw that, some of the cousins couples get married only when, then they ran away from their home. and in most of the cases the family members  of girl side file the fir of abduction/kidnapping. n file a habeas corpus writ in the high court. in consequences of this couple have to face many problems.  this is a problem which occured in such kind of marriges. so there is a remedy for that too. after getting the marrige certificate u immediately file the application in the the  concerned high court for the protection. the benefit of this is that  when the family of either of ur parents go to the police station for filing the FIR police cant file it. because the police has got the high court ordr that both them get married. so do not file any complaint on this matter.

for more information (like what kind of documents or ather thing else u have required gor get married in arya samaj) n suggestion or legal advise call me on my no. 9926288355. b/w 11 am to 7 pm.

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veeruization,

How wonderful to have you here. We have been at a lost for advice for our members from India. Please stay in touch here, as much as your professional obligations allow. I realize you cannot constantly be giving free legal advice and still make a living, but we have members here who are really in a bad way. I have hoped for some time that someone in your position would come along to help them out. I don't know an appropriate way to tell you in your culture or religion, so I will say it from mine. God Bless You..... :ok:

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Guest funny_divya@yahoo.co.in

I'm divya and a hindu. I live in Delhi and my cousin and i are in lov with each other for the past 6years. We love each other too much but our families would not agree plz if there is anyone out there in the same situation then plz mail me my id is [email protected] plz mail me i'm sure we can help each other. Plz mail me time is running out me our hands as his mother has started looking for girls. Plz mail me i'm very desperate to help you and help myself. I beg anyone in the same situation just mail me we'll find a way me helping each other     

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Guest funny_divya@yahoo.co.in

@Amrita

@A747

@siddharth srivastava

@sharma

i'm a hindu and from delhi my cousin and i love each other but we cant marry coz our family would not agree. But we love each other too much and cant stay without one another. Caste for us is no issue and we are srivastava's basically kshatriya. Plz mail me i'm running out of time my id is [email protected] plz lets help each other to be with our beloved for life plz mail me anyone who feels stuck in the same situation plz i'll die without him. Plz we could help each other i'm sure mail me i'm desperate as time is running out of hand for my bby he's 28 and i'm 21 and his mother has started looking for girls. Plz anyone mail me my id is [email protected]   

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Guest Someone

Guys, i had been through this. today i am 30. i loved my mother's brother's daughter since i was 12 ( i didnt know wht love is at that time). our families were close and they raised us as brother and sister, but deep down my heart i had the same feeling for her (she didnt knew it, but she always liked everything about me). i helped her, guided her in each and every aspect of life when she was doing her education. she got admission to an engg college in the city where i live. i helped in every possible way. we used to sms, chat, talk on phone for hours. we never talked about the bond in between us. our families assumed that it is brother's love for sister due to which he helps her so much. she didnt have any bf or any other close friend, because she never felt the need when i was there to support her, to listen to her problems, to teach her, to guide her. finaly, just 5 yrs ago, i couldnt control my feelings for her when she was casualy asking me about marriage and love etc. i asked her a question - close ur eys and think , with whom you would like to spend your life with. she smsed me in the morning saying it is me. no need to explain my joy and the 4 yrs we spent together after that. we both were madly in love with each other. at the same time we were hiding it frm our families. problem started when my parents started thinking about my marriage. i was very confident at that time that somehow i will explain and convince them about our relationship and feelings. i was regularyly giving them hints about cousin's marriage, told them to look for a girl who is exactly like her. they used to explain me that yes people do it but it is not expected in the society and all. i was confident because i thought she would do the same at her home like giving hints to her parents. but at that time, she was very casual about things and more focussed on her education, career. i knew she loved her parents more than anybody in the world. initialy she was a bit reluctant to the relationship due to fear of hurting her parents. she also had a sense of responsibility because her parents, my uncle, didnt have a son. she was afraid that if she did somethign wrong (frm society's point of view and her parent's point of view) her younger sister will face problems at the time of her marriage. but still, our love was going on. she was happy as i was still with her. but i was very deprssed due to parent's pressure for marriage and also her neglegence towards that. she started avoiding my calls, meetings, when my parents started looking for bride. i saw 10-15 girls and both of us used to be happy when a girl was rejected by my parents. but finaly they liked one proposal very much (which had came from my uncle i.e. her father). she was her good friend in school days. my uncle convinced my parents and my cousin conrtributed to that (yes, she told her parents and my parent about the girl and how good she is for me etc.. this is where i lost the hope). i got married to that girl. i had some expectations about my wife and yes they were due to my cousin only. the new girl was nowhere near my expecations. so i could never love her or give her things a newly married bride expects from her husband. i was (and i am) still madly in love with my cousin. one fine day my wife came to know about this and she was shocked. she told everything to my parents and her parents. everybody opened their fire on me and now it is decided that we (my cousin and me) would never contact in future and never talk about things those happend in the past. i agreed. i had no other option. my cousin started hating me because her parents got to knew about her 'wrong' deeds due to me. now she hates me like anything and just want her family to be happy. now, three of us are unhappy (for life) and fourth one is coming (her future husband).

moral of the story - if you love someone, you should have the courage to be with each other forever , no matter what happens. i still can not stop thinking about her and get over it. it's being 1 yr now i m married.

I dont think i will get some help anywahre, so wouldn't ask for it.

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Guest js

I am sorry, I know I can be brutal sometimes but, why are you still married?

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Guest goldy malik

..................hi neha i also have same problem can u tell me the solution of it...she is my mother's sister's daughter......plzzz help me out....waiting for ur reply.....am from north india....(.rajasthan)

[/quote                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        ]i m also with the same problem iske ek hi solution h news channels ke jariye north india ki sarker se request kare ki yaha b first cousin marriages lagu honi chahiye sab milkr karenge to ho jayega aaj se hi try kro news channels par apne views send krne plz jbi kuch ho skta h :(

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