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First cousin marriage legal or illegal in India?

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Guest Divya Singh

hai friends

Iam from Tamilnadu and iam in love with my first cousin(my mothers siaters doughter). we are in love for past 10 years and we are sure enough that our parents will not accept this. Also i have been intensively consulting on cousin marriages and found ut few points. First thing, It is a prohibited relationship as per any marriage law in India(expect muslim). U can go ahead and marry if any one party(Boy or girls custom) have been accepting it for a long time.

So truthfully speaking, there is no way to register your marriage.

The only option is that you can marry in any temple(without telling that you r cusins) and then go and settle in any other state. In the new state you may register your marriage b supresing that u r cousins (be carefull that no one objects to your marriage in the new state) and live happily.

Another point is that , why u all want permission from law to marry your cousin. Why u want to register your marriage? don't your lover trust you? just marry in any temple and just live together, dont bother about registerations.

I think if all cousinlovrs in India work as group and help each others, we can suceed in this, lets think about this.

Happy married life......

you can mail me at - [email protected]

Hi Ramesh,

I also love my brothe ( mother's sisiter's son ). we luv each other sooo much..plz help me what shoul i do.. in our hindu culture nd also our family will not agree with this relation..plzzz..plzz..help me out...what shoul we do..

I  also read ur comment but i think registration will protect us from future unexpectation things.

and also u r saying dat live in a new state bt that new state should be allow us to live der.. in dat new state cousin marriage shoul be legal.

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Bro are ua north indian??

Im south indian.In south india its legal to marry ua first and first cousin once removed can marry and all the first cousins can't marry. U can marry ua father's sisters' daughter  or  son;

ua mother's brother and his children i. e ua Uncle's children(but not ua mothers ' sister and her children i.e ua aunts' children)  but u can't marry ua second cousin. I dont know anything about north india

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Guest santosh

Hi

i am a hindu... i love my father;s brother's daughter from last 9 years. we both love each other lot, cant live without each other we really want to marry each other but big problem is family and the society..... we cant leave our family too want to see happy them too... plzzzzzzzzzzz help us plzzzzzzzz need solution 

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Hello Everyone . Greetings to all . Here is something for us to help . Please sign in this petition . It is an initiative from change.org and the appeal is going to the prime minister of india . So we are requesting to all Indians to sign in this petition

Here is the link

https://www.change.org/p/prime-minister-of-india-please-amend-the-marriage-law?recruiter=280008561&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_page&utm_term=des-xs-share_petition-custom_msg&fb_ref=Default&expired_session=true

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Guest prab

U can marry ur cross cousins like ur fathers sisters daughter or ur mothers brothers daughter. U cant marry ur parallel cousins. But thats in southern parts of India and southern Maharashtra. Up north u cant marry in the same gotra.

Can I really marry my mother's brother's daughter legally ??

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Guest nick

hi..frnds I am hindu and I am sure i am not the only person who fall in love with her cousin (my mother's sister's doughter).I really want to get married with her and I can't live without her and she also loved me but the problem is our relationship is opened in our families. she is getting scared from her family and don't want to take wrong step but I still loved her and really want to marry her.

please tell me how can i marry with my cousin....help me yaar. as soon as possible.

I'll be waiting for your suggestions.

thank you.

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Guest shanthi devi

can cross cousins marry in south India ,Christian answers? why not parallel cousins?

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Guest santosh

I want to marry my fathers brother daughter who stays in southindian in hyderabad we are hindus soo plssss help me we both love each other n cant live wihout each other pls help me out......... :(

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Guest anilkumar

hiii... sir

            i m from hyd i m love with my sister(mother sister's doughter)  so i want to marry ..what should i do .??.so please give me the solution ...we cant live eachother...plzzz give me the solution ...its illgal r legal....

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Guest jenika

Hi I'm jenika I'm in love with my first cousin....I want to marry him and only him but this law and people of socitey make our life a hell... Laws are made by human being and not by god and god never says that u can't love infact love can be with any one, at any age...And I think it's total a person's choice that whom he/she wants to marry.... Plz I need help plz I want to share my feelings and want suggestions also...

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Guest Prithvi

Hi! I am Prithvi Singh from Madhya Pradesh.

I fall in love with my mother's sister's daughter. We are in a relationship from past 6 years. We really want to marry with each other. She is ready to marry with me without any conditions but I am afraid of Indian law against cousins marriage.

I have some questions please get some useful solutions for me.

1. If her parents do some case on me then can our low protects me?

2. I know its illegal but if no one object then can it be fine to live us together?

3. Is it good for future?

4. Our children will be ok?

5. Is there any form filling formalities for cousin brother & sister?

Please take out me from these bad stuffs. Help me please.

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Prithvi,

No idea.

#1) We have a hard enough time trying to keep up with the laws in the half of the US States that don't allow it to one degree or another.

#2) If it's illegal, it's illegal. As far as if it is criminal incest, see ^^^ #1) above.

#3) That is up to you two. I personally, (and, feeling I represent the consensus of the mods and admins here) recommend you migrate to a friendlier country. Being in the Pacific Rim, I personally recommend Australia if you can still get in. (or, similarly, NZ)

#4) While nobody can guarantee your children would be fine, the odds are WAY in your favor that they would. With such an extremely low history of cousin couples, I would venture you would have to go back AT LEAST 5 or 6 generations to find such a pairing in your genealogy. That being the case, the chances of problems in no way should be considered to be the factor that would stop you from starting a family.

#5) Again, see #1) above. But, I want to tell you, and ALL other MEMBERS AND LURKERS FROM INDIA: The first thing I want to pound into your collective heads is NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE HEARD AND BEEN TAUGHT, COUSINS ARE NOT SIBLINGS. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS "COUSIN BROTHER AND COUSIN SISTER" PERIOD. You are either brother and sister, or, cousins. The only "cousin brother or cousin sister" is the brother or sister of your cousin, and that is properly described as "My cousins' brother or my cousins' sister." The whole concept of cousins being extended siblings it complete insanity. Granted, my cousin and I WERE as close emotionally as siblings growing up, but, we had no delusions that we WERE actually siblings. We were cousins, and knew it very well. This may be a new concept to you all, but you MUST grasp it. PLEASE.

I certainly do wish I could take you, and all our other members, guests and lurkers from India "out from these bad stuffs." But, I can't. Only YOU ALL can do it for yourselves. It takes great faith and great commitment. Sadly, many in your situation don't have it. Maybe you do, and will be able to find the way. I certainly hope so....... 

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Guest sk

Prohibited degree Marrieges can b registered under special marriage Act, provided marriages solmannised must be as per christian religion/custome. There is judgment whereby it was confirmed by HC. And if two adults are mutually decided to live their life together no law or person can prevent them.

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Guest B. B.

Hi I'm jenika I'm in love with my first cousin....I want to marry him and only him but this law and people of socitey make our life a hell... Laws are made by human being and not by god and god never says that u can't love infact love can be with any one, at any age...And I think it's total a person's choice that whom he/she wants to marry.... Plz I need help plz I want to share my feelings and want suggestions also...

Dear Jenika,

I can understand your situation. Here, it is true that people of society and laws make life a hell like yours.  But here is also a positive thing that laws are made by human being, which can be reformed after pressurizing the government by victims.  All of you will have to join forces to amendement in Hindu Marriage Act. It is defined in Constitution that Our Constitution is flexible and It is reformable.  Where, the Homosexuals are fighting for their rights, wherease all of your problems are genuine and must fight for your love and rights too.  So Jenika starts to get toghether and get ready for a Movement.

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Guest Sanu

Hi friends,

  Iam from Kerala and i belonging to a Christian family.iam in love with my father's brother's son.we are in deep love. We presented this matter in our home. But they are against this and they are saying that they will never allow us to marry.we are in a worse situation.dont know what to do.please help us.

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Sanu,

As Christians in India, LEGALLY, you are allowed to marry. However, as you are finding out, there is a VERY strong cultural bias against doing so there. As Christians, my only advice to you is to show them the facts regarding the various religions, esp. the Old/New Testament ones found here: https://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion

You may as well get a copy of the Christian Marriage Act, or the relevant parts of the overall Marriage Act in India, however that exists. I think it is a general marriage act, with various parts/sections governing the respective religions there. Depending on which "denomination" you are, you may need to take other steps through your church. I do know that if you are Catholic, you will need a dispensation from the local diocese. Not really a big deal, but it may cost you a small nominal fee. If you are Catholic, and the diocese is willing to bless the marriage, and your priest will follow their instructions to solemnize the marriage, your family would be in the untenable position of arguing with the Church. I don't see them saying "Well, the Church is wrong." If they say that, then they have to ask if the Church is wrong on other matters. That isn't going to happen. If you are of any of the various Protestant denominations, there would be no dispensation required, no LEGITIMATE religious objection, but you may still be hard pressed to convince your pastor to overcome the cultural bias and marry you. All Protestant denominations, so far as we know, have the official position that cousin marriage is allowed, and will perform such a marriage, PROVIDED it is legal in the Country/State/Jurisdiction where it is to be performed.

For now, do a search for "Christian Marriage Act in India", look at the link above, print them out, show them to the family, and see how they argue with the facts.

I'm also curious as to how old the two of you are? If you are not of age, you will be well advised to put this on the way down low, keep in touch, taking great care to choose your words wisely, so as to not have your means of communication taken from you, and ride this out until you are of age and can get out on your own. If you are of age, we always advise our members and guests from India to quietly prepare to leave. For Hindus, that generally means leaving India for friendlier environs. As Christians, you would only have to move far enough to get away from the drama, then legally marry and make your own happy life together.

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Guest Rajesh raj

I am facing same problems.I also love my first cousin (my mother's sister's daughter) please help me.

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Guest rohit

i m rohit from uttrakhad facing same problm .i m loving with my cousin since 5 yrs. our family knew that. then they decided to devide us they fix the marriege of my love. i dnt want to lost him and also nt want to loss my family.. but now i decided to ran away with her bcoz if our family dont think about us.. then why i m thinking for them.. so i decided to convert in critian and marry in court with ligally

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Guest pooja kumari

Hi I am 19 years old girl and from North india.I am in love with my mother cousin's brother son and wanted to marry. we are in relationship from last two years and we cann't imagine to live without each other.please help us ....      

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Guest MC

Everyone here is stating that cross cousins can marry, but not the parallel cousins. Given the fact that science has not evidenced anything wrong with even first cousins marriages, all these rules are man made. Anything man made is breakable, and need to leave the old baggage behind in order to evolve forward. Its all about stupid traditions, blind and psuedo honor and dignity system which doesn't hold anymorebin modern lifestyle. Those who don't want to shred off the old customs are welcome to stay behind and succumb to traditional pressure and become dinosaurs

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Guest shubham saxena

brother same condion as yours is mine I        love my cousin very much as she is my mother's sister daughter we are in love since 4 years but afraid of our Hindu religion and don't want our parents faces down but we can't live without each other and also don't want to hurt our families if you get any way please reply with that way to me it would we a great help for us..

Also we have decided not to do marriage leaving each other to the other one...please help us..

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Guest Hurt & disappointed

Under this topic.. all I know under South India, only cross cousins can marry but not parallel cousins.. whereas in North India, both are not allowed.. the weirdest part is both sides are hindu.. so why the difference? I would say this is culture rather than religion..

A number of you are willing to let your family know about your relationship with your cousins.. but will you be able to fight the odds of the family and society or succumb to their threats.. some have been together for 5 yrs or more.. and u want to marry this person and spend the rest of your lives together..

Let me share you my story...

I'm a south indian.. was in love with my cousin ( mom's sister's son) for 12 yrs.. I was from a different country and visited my relatives in india.. felt an instant attraction to him and him likewise.. I was 18 and he 21.. we shared our 1st kiss too..

We stopped communicating for 2 yrs when we realised we can't be together due to culture and society, furthermore our family found out abt us and it became a big problem making us break our rlnship.. it broke our heart but we thought this infatuation will surpass.. it didn't.. I lived in his thoughts every single day.. he had also been the same.. he is a gd looking and caring person.. and he attracted alot of women.. but he didn't go out with any.. after 2 yrs we chatted over messenger and got back together.. we even had our fights and tested our love for each other by gng Non contact for 1 mth.. that was when we realised we loved each other alot.. were in long distance relationship for 5 yrs and he came to the country I lIved in as a labour man to be with me.. he slowly raised himself to the role of supervisor with the intention to be with me.. of course, our fear for our family got us to not move freely which caused alot of rift between us.. but we still couldn't let go of each other. my mom started arranging my marriage when I was 26 and I fought against it.. my relatives and mom knowing about our relationship insisted to have my marriage done.. my love asked me to run away with him.. but I succumbed to the emotional blackmail of my family.. esp my mom.. the guy my relatives saw was also from India.. I cried and even put up fights at home.. but all was in vain.. I decided to place my faith in God and prayed to stop the wedding.. and it did.. just 2 weeks before the wedding date.. that was when I realised I should fight for my love no matter what and how I felt when I knew I couldn't live without him.. I was open about my rlnship but not my love.. he still had this society feel lingered to him..

For 4 years I fought off whatever proposals came in but, my love succumbed to his family drama.. being the only son and the need to take care of his sis although she is married to her the person she love.. his duty to his parents and his sister and his fear for society made him marry the girl his parents chose for him.. she was a decade younger.. he promised to be mine always and will never leave me.. of course being totally blind in love, I believed him.. 1.5 mths after his marriage, he left me saying he and I can never get along and I will create alot of problems.. it broke me.. went under depression.. I had no family support.. it became a big issue in the family and he was being questioned by everyone.. like didn't u know this is against our culture.. she was brought up in foreign land but u in india, didn't you know about our culture.. I hv a problem controlling my anger and I end up bursting some things that he and I had conversed about whenever I fight with my family as they provoke me.. when u r sad and upset, u won't be able to think rationally.

He felt I was responsible for whatever happened after his marriage.. he started to hate me and hates me now completely.. I was even threatened by his family never to contact him and also my family threatened him.. something beautiful we had, was completely destroyed because we succumbed to the love we had for family and fear of society.. he regrets loving me as he feels I'm responsible for making him lose his peace of mind and calls me the devil who doesn't leave him alone.. if I ever call him or message him, he tells his family.. and he claims to not know what he had sinned to end up being with me when he used to say I dun know what I had sinned that I'm not able to marry you.. he was my 1st everything.. it is almost going to be a year.. and I'm still struggling to get over him.. I lost my job and living life like a zombie.. he feels that im embarrassing him when he got questioned by my aunt which I had no idea she spoke to him when I didn't say a single word to her..

I'm trying to pick up the broken pieces of me with the help of my close friends only.. not family as all they do is condemn our rlnship.. nothing hurts more than being hated by the person whom u loved so much and calls u a devil stating dunno at what ill timing I end up loving her.. he feels lucky to hv listened to his parents and got himself a gd wife..

The reason I'm telling my story is that are you willing to sacrifice ur family and ur family's thirst for society's acceptance to marry your cousin.. especially if you are parallel cousin.. if no, break up your relationship and save urself from being felt you were replaced.. and any family disputes which could damage everything u had with ur cousin.. love is love, but family obsessed with societal values and culture will never understand it.. parents should learn to accept their children for who they are.. this is what our Indian families fail at.. they like to put their needs for society above the happiness of their children's.. 

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Guest sudev sharma
On 4/21/2010 at 2:25 AM, Guest Seema2010 said:

I am a girl, who wants to marry with my mother's  sister's son in India. Pleas advice me if its legal in North India (Punjab).

Thanks

Neha

:(

i would like to get in touch with you..what's your status now? did you marry him ?

 

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Same problem I am from Tamil Nadu.If any one have from TN have this problem send your mail or fb Id i will contact you. We can plan and live life happily 

Edited by Dhanush
Auto correct problem

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On 6/10/2014 at 1:13 PM, Guest DineshKumar said:

hello....i'm from tamilnadu but working in bangalore.love with mother's sister's daughter.somebody who really love and support cousin marriage plz contact me guys.09379142468

I accept your idea 

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