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Matt

How to know if my cousin likes me?!

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Hi, everyone..... I've never done anything like this before, so please tell me if I got this right..... I really need some advice from other people that have gone through this. Ok.... So I've been talking to my cousin over Facebook, and think that she likes me. The only problem is, I don't know how to tell. There have been complicated signs, such as a few years ago:

We were in a treehouse by my grandparents house. Just standing there. When all of a sudden, she broke the silence by asking, "So.... Do you want to kiss?" I have always dealt with self hate from day one, so I was obviously shocked and responded with a simple "No." We both then agreed to forget about her question, and walk back to our grandparents house.

Fast forward to present time: 

We haven't properly talked to eachother for a long while. It seemed as if our family relationship kind of pulled apart. But out of the blue, she messaged me on Facebook a few days ago, and asked me "What's up?" Since then, we've been seeing eachother messages back and forth. Sending eachother good morning wishes, or saying goodnight. But then came today. I was shopping with my grandparents while messaging my cousin, when all of a sudden, she showed me these pictures of Pokemon clothes, since we've been talking about Pikachu. I didn't see anything bad about that, being that they are simple things such as bikinis, almost similar to the one I'm currently trying to make for myself.

But then she sent me a message after coming out of the shower, asking me to guess what she's wearing. I guessed Pokemon clothes, to which she replied something along the lines of, "a bra, panties, sweats, and a T-shirt." I then replied with, "Oh." A bit confused as to why she would tell me something like that, even since we've just recently started talking to eachother again. She then asked me what I was doing, to which I replied, "Finishing my DIY swimsuit. You?" To which she replied, "Seriously thinking about putting my shirt back on." We then trailed off into a conversation about being LGBT+.

What does this mean?! We haven't talked for awhile, and soon after we started to build up our family relationship, she starts yelling me things like this. To me, that's a bit personal. She also has a girlfriend, (she told me soon after our last conversation.) which only makes me more confused. I keep trying to connect the time in the treehouse, to today, hoping that this will somehow make sence to me, but I just can't think of why she would say things like this, to me, of all people.

And it only gets worse from there.... I've always had a trouble of letting people in to my life, (close family are an exception.), even though a few years back, there were a few boys and girls who I could tell had crushed on me. (I was just too nervous as to what to say.), But ever since I've started  talking to my cousin, everytime I get the notification that she sent !e a message, I keep feeling tingly inside... and I smile when I read her texts, and haven't been able to stop thinking about her. It's all I think about 24/7! 

So here's my question, guys.... How do I know if she likes me? What are all of these times when she told me these personal things mean? And how do I know if I like her?

Also, how do I handle the whole situation? I don't want to ruin her relationship with her girlfriend, and am truly happy for her to get someone who cares about her, but at the same time... I feel a bit sad thinking that she has a girlfriend. She's about 17, and I, 16. I know it's nothing like puberty or anything talking, espicially since I'm on hormone blockers.... So what does all of this mean?

 

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Hormone blockers?  Are you transitioning from male to female?  No matter, the blockers aren't keeping you from feeling "tingly" whenever she messages you, so you shouldn't necessarily dismiss this situation as not relating to puberty.  16 is a fun, crazy, confusing age to be in any circumstance.   

Look, you say you haven't properly talked to her for a long while, and in truth, FB messaging does not equal proper communication.  The two of you are playing around, she is testing the sexual boundaries and in the process, and you are as confused as ever. That mess needs to stop. 

The only way to know if someone is attracted to you is to spend time together.  You have to talk to each other and spend time doing things together to see what the other person is really like.  Cousin relationships are no different from other relationships in this aspect.  

I think you need to back off messaging her and perhaps the next time you see her IN PERSON, try to get to know her.  Maybe seeing her in person will open your eyes to her one way or another.

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