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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Mike jordan2

What should i do?

6 posts in this topic

Im in love with my grandma sister daughter...we talk to each other every single day from the last time i saw her..i think she likes me the same way but i just dont know if she does..she tells me she love me alot n that she cant live without me but maybe she says that to be nice..one of our conversation i told her that i love her alot n she said her more, when i tell her to explain to me y,she refuse to tell me....fyi we talk on the phone bc she live in SC...i told her if i c her again would she tells me n she said maybe..i could goo on for days with our convo but i just want to know what i should do

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so you are first cousins once removed. now you know the genetic term. can you tell us how old you both are? and any other particulars.... are either of you married? in college or high school? still living at home? being supported by parents or otherwise obligated to them financially (like they're paying your college tuition or something...)?

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I am 18 and she is 17....im  not in highschool or in college..she is in highschool and plan on going to college..we both still live at home with our parents.

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you're both still very young... i know it seems like you're not, but you've got years and years ahead of you. so don't rush things! pursue a relationship if you want, but be aware that at THIS age, the odds of a relationship lasting forever are stacked against you. i think letting her know your feelings is a good thing, though... and that way at some point when she (and you) are ready to find someone to settle down with, it might be each other. too many people regret never knowing how the other felt until it is too late. but for now, take things slow and build a solid friendship. the benefits of this are two-fold. even if you never get together, the friendship will be permanent. and secondly, if you DO get together, and maybe even get married, you'll have a far better chance of it lasting. without friendship first, marriage won't last.

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Should i tell her when i see her or over the phone?the thing is that i never really open up to a girl like the way i do her n i dont want to lie to her...and im scared to tell her..should i just w8 until she tells me how she feels n if she dont feel the same way,do i still tell her?

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A gal doesn't tell you she loves you and can't live without you just to be nice.  However, the fact that you two are not near each other makes building a relationship difficult.  LadyC is on the right track with advising you to build a friendship first.  You are young and can't see each other on a regular basis, so a romantic relationship will be difficult at best.  Even for those who are already in a committed relationship, being away from each other for an extended time puts a strain on the relationship.

Go on and talk to her as often as you like, but keep the discussions on topics that will really help you get to know each other.  Then focus on getting yourself established with college or a career path and figuring out how you're gonna make it in this crazy world.  Maybe in the near future the two of you will be in a position to see each other on a regular basis and then you'll be able to pursue her romantically. You're young and time in on your side. 

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