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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Heartbroken

Did he end things because he loves me? Or because he doesn't?

7 posts in this topic

We've only seen each other three times in childhood prior to this fourth time (first as adults). I kissed him first, but he initiated everything else such as sex, staying at his place, and having a future together. He guided us quickly into a relationship (I was happy to oblige) and two months in, he tells me we can't be together because it might tear our family apart and our kids wouldn't be healthy. I understand his reasons, but I'm not sure if this break up is because he genuinely can't accept us being related or because he doesn't feel like the same anymore. 

The word love has never been said, not romantically nor platonically. So it's a bit hard to gauge how he really feels. Can someone's mind change so quickly? If he wants me actively in his life without the romantic side of things, surely this must be easier for him because I can't be close even as family right now. I'm so heartbroken. 

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i'm no psychic, but i can make an educated guess based on lots of experience. i had a guy break my heart like that once, a long time ago. i later had the opportunity to ask him why. he said i'd been like a shiny new toy for a while, and then the new just wore off.

sounds like you got old to him too quickly. sorry, i know it hurts :(

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If this is the case, I don't understand why he would still want me actively in his life. He still wants to travel, share an apartment and overall for me to be nearby and close. Is this just to make things easier for him? I'm visiting family in about a weeks time and haven't bought a return ticket because of the current situation, yet he insists that I promise to come back. I'm confused...

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Sounds like he just wants easy access to you for when it is convenient for him. 

I don't think there is any romantic love involved, at least on his part.

Cut you losses and move on.  You don't deserve to be used, you are worth more than that.

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My husband/cousin says your cousin is a shriveled appendage. Dump him and move on asap. You deserve better than this guy.

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like i said, i'm no psychic. nobody is. we can only give answers based on experience, and unfortunately that experience is a wise teacher. the human race doesn't seem to change. 

people are creatures of habit. it's hard to give up what is familiar, even if it's only for comfort and no longer has any real emotion attached. that could be what is happening probably is.

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On 9/17/2016 at 2:05 PM, Guest Heartbroken said:

If this is the case, I don't understand why he would still want me actively in his life. He still wants to travel, share an apartment and overall for me to be nearby and close. Is this just to make things easier for him? I'm visiting family in about a weeks time and haven't bought a return ticket because of the current situation, yet he insists that I promise to come back. I'm confused...

This says everything. He is just using you when he is in need. Get over him as quickly as you can. It will hurt you but staying with him isn't going to bring you any good.

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