• Announcements

    • KC

      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

      Be informed on better ways to stay safe on the web -- Source: Mozilla
Pwitty93

Story Time

This topic has had no activity within the past six months. It is recommended that you start a new topic instead of replying to old topics.

How was it?   1 member has voted

  1. 1. How was it?

    • bad
      0
    • fine
      1

Please sign in or register to vote in this poll.

3 posts in this topic

Okay Lady and Gents of this loving your cousin world, I want to give you a littlw background of my story and then you will see why i ask the questions i do and would like your personal stories and answers to.

Well, I am dating my second cousin on my fathers side, and my father is really not to happy. My dad and my boyfriends/cousins dad are first cousins. But the family had a falling out way way back in the day so my dad never grew up knowing my boyfriend/cousins father. My boyfriend/cousin actually works with my dad and he saw what my boyfriends last name was and put it all together.

So before i even got with my cousin i did know we were related and my dad was fuming that i let my feelings grow for him knowing he was my cousin. I'm not aloud to have him at my house, my dad swears he won't be at our wedding if choose to get married, and he wants us to drop his grandkids off and go on our marry way if grandkids come along. I don't know what to do with them, i've concidered moving away and never talk to them again sop i can live a normal happy future with my amazing cousin and not have to deal with there drama.

So here we go, I would like to know who's parents were TOTALLY againest you dating your cousin and when children came or marriage they got over it? or maybe you cut all connections off with your parents? Was it maybe hard for those who gave birth to there child without their parent's there or got married without their own father present to walk you down the asle? Or was it worth it cause through itm all you had the love of your life?

Just please give me stories and answers.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pwitty93,

You are going to have to give us a little more information than that for us to come up with some sort of useful advice. How old are the two of you? Being a mod, I can take a look and probably get some sort of idea where you are, but I'm a little busy at the moment, and don't have time to do so. The country if not the US, or just the state if you are in the US will do. Don't be overly specific.

Now, to some points you did mention. You do NOT just "drop your kids off at your Dad's and go on your merry way." He's being a turd over this, and I would be hard pressed for him to be around my kids in any fashion until his behavior improves. You CAN move away, but, I would not refuse to talk to them again over this. You leave the lines of communication open. If they decide to not use it, it is THEIR choice. You will have taken the high ground.

I don't know how it is to be in your position. Our mothers would not have had a problem with it, and still to this day wouldn't. My Dad's opinion is irrelevant, but, I have a feeling he wouldn't have anything to say about it either. He likes Cuz better than all but one woman I've ever been with anyhow. Her Dad is one of the coolest, most stylish, and classiest men I've ever met. When we had our "moment" back in the day, I wanted us to move to where he lives. Had I voiced this a little more plainly, she would have probably not been so scared as to not have went for it. He would have taken us in and set us on our way to doing very well in life.

And, we also are second cousins. So, yes, moving IS an option, but you would be well advised to have jobs lined up ahead of time, or some sort of major support system in place wherever you decide to go. This isn't 1982/1983 anymore. At that time, where he is was BOOMING. It still isn't a bad choice, but it has slowed down in a big way since then. Back then, just the help wanted section of the Sunday paper was the size of our daily paper here. Not so today. A LOT of planning and preparation is needed to relocate today. If you can stand the cold, and Cuz doesn't mind a lot of hard work, there is BIG $$$ to be made right now in the Dakotas. (South Dakota I think, but, you can google the lowest unemployment rate in the US to be sure.) If he knows the difference between a screwdriver and a hammer, he can get a job out there. If you want to work, they are hurting for help to the point that Walmart is starting people out at $17/hr. Sounds crazy, but everyone there who would work at Walmart is working in the oil and gas industry, for a starting wage about half that again. There are options, but you need to be prepared.

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pwitty93,

You are going to have to give us a little more information than that for us to come up with some sort of useful advice. How old are the two of you? Being a mod, I can take a look and probably get some sort of idea where you are, but I'm a little busy at the moment, and don't have time to do so. The country if not the US, or just the state if you are in the US will do. Don't be overly specific.

Now, to some points you did mention. You do NOT just "drop your kids off at your Dad's and go on your merry way." He's being a turd over this, and I would be hard pressed for him to be around my kids in any fashion until his behavior improves. You CAN move away, but, I would not refuse to talk to them again over this. You leave the lines of communication open. If they decide to not use it, it is THEIR choice. You will have taken the high ground.

I don't know how it is to be in your position. Our mothers would not have had a problem with it, and still to this day wouldn't. My Dad's opinion is irrelevant, but, I have a feeling he wouldn't have anything to say about it either. He likes Cuz better than all but one woman I've ever been with anyhow. Her Dad is one of the coolest, most stylish, and classiest men I've ever met. When we had our "moment" back in the day, I wanted us to move to where he lives. Had I voiced this a little more plainly, she would have probably not been so scared as to not have went for it. He would have taken us in and set us on our way to doing very well in life.

And, we also are second cousins. So, yes, moving IS an option, but you would be well advised to have jobs lined up ahead of time, or some sort of major support system in place wherever you decide to go. This isn't 1982/1983 anymore. At that time, where he is was BOOMING. It still isn't a bad choice, but it has slowed down in a big way since then. Back then, just the help wanted section of the Sunday paper was the size of our daily paper here. Not so today. A LOT of planning and preparation is needed to relocate today. If you can stand the cold, and Cuz doesn't mind a lot of hard work, there is BIG $$$ to be made right now in the Dakotas. (South Dakota I think, but, you can google the lowest unemployment rate in the US to be sure.) If he knows the difference between a screwdriver and a hammer, he can get a job out there. If you want to work, they are hurting for help to the point that Walmart is starting people out at $17/hr. Sounds crazy, but everyone there who would work at Walmart is working in the oil and gas industry, for a starting wage about half that again. There are options, but you need to be prepared.

Hello Hawk,

Thank you for taking your time and reading that but i thought i listed our ages in one of my paragraphs. I am 20, i'll be 21 in about 5 months and he is 22. I was hoping more people would respond to my dire need in help on my future decisions in life to make. Thank you though for your help! You helped clear a lot up for me. He just bought a house in West Virginia, so when all my legal stuff goes away i was planning in moving in there with him. But i live in Maryland which is only about 30 mins away from his new place and i so desire to live much farther away. And maybe South Carolina just has to be it! You explained a lot of purks of that area. But you're right, i never thought of looking into the laws of different states and i really should if we plan on moving as far away as we can one day.

But i am glad i am not the only one who thinks my father is nuts for what he has said about grandkids. Me and my boyfriend have already gone through genetic counciling incase of any uh oh babies and we are perfectly fine, so i know i plan on having children with him one day. I just worry that if i still live close to my family my children will not live in a good life style like i did do to my dad being a stubborn butt that he is. And also I want to tell my children about me and their father when i'm ready not when i'm force to cause they will be wondering why daddy can't go to family events with us.

As for the wedding part, it hurts that most of my family will not being attending because of their views on my relationship decision, and i just feel if i get away from them and not have as much contact with them i will feel better about it all. But your are correct on the fact you say i should leave the line open for them and let them use it if they want to.

I really want to hear about others stories and how they dealt with it, and get as much advice as i can. For i know this is truely the gentalmen i want to spend my life with.

Thanks!

pwitty93

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor