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Frustrated & confused Advise maybe?

Guest Brandi

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Okay so back in March my mom's brother (they have same mom and dad) passed away. My uncle had a son whom I had never met I was 26 he's 31. So my mom and I travel to Indiana and stop stay the night and pick up his son and kids to go on up to the funeral with us. Him and I immediately hit it off. We decided to drink some that night & he kept telling me how beautiful I was. Well this continues when we get to Indiana around d the family. Our other cousin whom I've known my whole says wow Brandi I really think JB likes you. We laugh and crack jokes but I knew it was true and that the feelings were mutual. We ended up hooking up 2 times while we were there then I stayed a night with him at his place before I went on home after the funeral. So we started texting and talking on a daily basis he kept telling me if I wasn't his kin he'd make me his. So all this proceeded to my kids and I visiting him 4 hrs away about every 2 weeks. We ended up moving in with him. Everything is fine. Things still felt a little awkward but I truly think we tried to say it was bc we are cousins and both single parents so we are doing this to help each other out. Knowing at this point it was for us and not for that reason. So fast forward things went south there and I moved back. Well his mom lives 25 mins away from where i live. His mom and sister and brother do not know about us. I told him I respect that and he can tell them when he is ready. Now my mom and sisters know as do our grandma and others in the family. So now it's been 7 months of us doing this and we plan to get a place together here soon. It's starting to get frustrating and hard bc he has to act as though he is a single daddy around his family and that's what they belive. Although I know his mom knows... I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm starting to get my feelings hurt and starting to feel like I am being hidden and it's putting stress on me and a distrust in him. I am a very insecure person anyway. I express these feelings and he gets frustrated now with me. He's made comments about when his mom finds out and this and that so I think he has the intentions of opening up to her 1 day but I don't know. But as far as his old friends and whatnot I'm like I want to be introduced as your old lady.. or even a friend but not your cousin bc when it does come out that's just more people to have looking down on us. Their opinion doesn't matter but we don't need the added negativity towards it. My mom was okay with it at first saying she would back this and that and we'll now she acts as though it just disgust her. All this makes me want to move off to where nobody knows us but that's not able to happen. Sometimes I feel like this will be forever hiding that he may never be ready to open up. I don't know if I can do that. And I don't know when or where to draw the line with it. It's crazy bc at first I was the one saying don't u tell a soul I'll deny it blah blah blah I was embarrassed and didn't know how to handle it but now it's as though the rolls have flipped bc he was the one saying it's okay at first. He's a very quite man doesn't say much and doesn't open up much until he's had a few drinks. I wonder if I'm moving to quickly. He says I'm not but the way I feel and the way I feel he acts it's as if I am. Like I told him be honest with me if at any point u want to stop this just say so. I don't want to have my feelings on a not her level than him. So advise would be great. I'm not sure what kind of answer I'm looking for or if any at all. But has anyone else experienced a situation similar? 

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