Guest chantalanick

I NEED help im in love with my cousin and its killing me :(

This topic has had no activity within the past six months. It is recommended that you start a new topic instead of replying to old topics.

21 posts in this topic

OK here is my story its so messed up . omg ok so last new years I went to visit my cousins I never ever see them maybe a few times. and we all had lots of fun then my cousins friend really liked me hit on me all night .... but at the end of the night me and my cousin (lets call him jay ) ended up texting eachother alot... and saying things like if only we wernt related... and it kinda went from there ... we didn't really say much after that for a wile and i ended up liking his friend ( call him Gary ) but me and jay would still flirt and such... and one day he decided to come visit me ... and we ended up talking about our feeling towards eachother and everything else and said well lets just kiss see if it feels right ...and omg it did .... and well we ended up dating for a month ..

I am not close to my family at all but he is alot!! loves his friends and family .. i couldn't care what anyone thinks but he does. and so he broke it off he said if it got so serious to the point he wanted to marry me he couldn't bring himself to tell the people he loves. :( so i started to move on and all lof a sudden Gary wanted to be with me !!! so i figured well i gotta move on so i told jay and he said he wouldn't stand in the way of me being happy... so me and Gary started dating i went to visit him for his b day . he worked days tho so i ended up spending most the weekend with jay and even slept in his bed .... we didn't do anything tho... and then when i came home Gary broke up with me cause he couldn't deal with the distance.

but I cant get jay off my mind me and him are so perfect for eachother in every way and I think he feels the same way about me but I cant help it I'm in love with him I donno how it happened but when i see him i just want to hold him and kiss him and be with him forever its soooooooo fucked:( what the hell do I do ? I feel like he was meant for me and i just want him so badly ... :(

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well.  Couple of things.

1. He has every right to think dating his cousin is wrong if he wants.  Obviously I disagree with that and you could try to educate him about it,  but for some people it's just weird and wrong and there is not much we can do about it. 

2. Even if he doesn't feel it's weird or wrong, he may have just taken the decision that even though he liked you, he may not like you enough to really bring it up to the family and deal with it.  Once again this is his decision, he has every right in the world to not want to deal with it.

3. Talk to him, find out exactly what made him break it off.  It sounds to me more like he just doesn't want to deal with it.  If that's the case then really all you can do is accept reality and move on.  You can try to change his mind, but I wouldn't put too much effort into it. 

4. These are just my own personal opinions, obviously I don't know you or him enough to give you any real advice. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No the thing is he actually really wishes he could be with me too but his bestfriend since he was like 2 (hes 26 now ) would lose it and never talk to him again and he is scared about losing his family they have been there so much for him through hard times ... and its understandable ... but i dont think people would take it to heart and flip like he thinks .. i told two ppl and they were like meh its common... he is just scared ... i can tell when were together the way we look at eachother its like he wants to push me against the wall and totally just take me ... but we dont anymore because he is scared... and he even makes comments like we could just run off and get married or hid it till we had kids then surprise haha . ugh I love him

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yea it sounds very much like number 2 (in my previous list) to me. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am in the same situation i know how it feels except we didnt know we were cousins we were about to make it official and everything then we found out we were cousins... We were both like damn den i was like i dont care im still inlove with you i just cant throw my feelings away... Then he was like he still qot feelings for me but its like damn were cousins... He says it feels weird but i dnt see my self with anybody but him i love him so much nd i cant help it.. Nd he would make comments like cousins make dozens... Lol :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im in love with my cousin too. My story doesnt even have a starting becuz i never told him. I think you should take your cousin away to the beach and ask him what he feels about you then tell him how you feel. Next tell him you just have to break it to them. So casually ask your family how they would feel to a hypotheticall situation like this. Thats basically my answer because truthfully we all know gary his friend was your rebound guy. The thing is love is something that cant be killed but can be produced so basically just go with it and remember when youre together everythings alright. I hope this helped.

All the best

-hope your ending is better then my no beggining

:)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been dating my cousin for a couple of months now. I never thought I would date a cousin. Growing up I was told it was wrong. I am very happy. However my family disagrees with it and has started alot of crap. U don't plan who u fall in love with it just happens. I say daye who u want and if u are happy then that's all it matter it shouldn't matter what everyone else thinks

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel like i love  my cousin though I've never told him. I feel like its SO wrong yet i can't him out of my head. I'll start forgeting about him then randomly he'll show up in my head. I like to think about kissing him a lot.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i remember feeling the EXACT same way about mark.....

      and now we've been married for 15 years.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I felt kind of weird at first & thought there was something wrong with me :laugh:  but the more i've been on this website, the more i realize its normal i guess to have these feelings for our cousins  :smiley:

I've had thoughts of doing stuff with my cousin but i'm not going in to detail about them because its disrespecting him but i know the feeling.

nessa76

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The thing is though i think he's my 2ND cousin. Wouldn't that be like problems if I do tell him and we get married later and have kids? And if i do my mom might be OK with it because she has 2 cousins who are together. Maybe I'm just over thinking it? :huh: His names Shai, nice name right? :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

the feeling, no. goodness, please read our info pages on genetics. the increased risk to children of  first cousins (over that of unrelated couples) is very small... and the risk for children of 2nd cousins is no different at all than that of any other two people. you're worrying too much.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

the feeling, no. goodness, please read our info pages on genetics. the increased risk to children of  first cousins (over that of unrelated couples) is very small... and the risk for children of 2nd cousins is no different at all than that of any other two people. you're worrying too much.

I agree, if i remember rightly on the video of those two cousins down under, one said it was about 4% risk which is very small indeed.

nessa76

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Am in de same situation and it kinda sucks bcz familyz get on the way

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm in the same position. My cousin & I didn't grow up together & we just seen each other for the first time since we were like 3, last summer. We constantly talk about how much easier it would be if we weren't cousins. I honestly think he's my soul mate but we won't ever be in a relationship. We only talk about messing around when we see each other again. He's the sweetest guy I've ever met & I love him with everything in me. He loves me just as much but we have a big family & we don't want to cause any heartache or problems for them. He is my second cousin, his dad is my first. He accidentally let it slip to his dad one night when he was drunk that he found me very attractive & wanted to do stuff with me. His dad brushed it off I suppose. I just wish we weren't related because I can't think about being with anyone except him. He's just so perfect for me.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hanna, if his dad is your first cousin, then he (the one you love) is actually your first cousin once removed. so he's not afraid to get drunk in front of his dad at 17? wow. his dad must be pretty lenient. and if he just 'brushed it off' when his son told him he liked you, then i would not worry too much, at least about his opinion.

but there's plenty of time. to rush into anything at your ages would be a mistake, because chances are it would not last. just keep things slow for a couple more years, then see how you feel.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not only dating my cousin but we live together well she's my third cousin but still we are very happy together and couldn't see my life with out this girl we have been living together for over a year our familys are fine with it even tho its the first time its happen in our family .they see how well we go together and are happy for us .don't know if my story hells but just what I have

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have same problem! but it the problem stand into a mirror!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am in the same exact situation. My cousin & I are very much in love & have been for about a year. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me. We have never talked about dating or a future because he doesn't see it like that. We both wish we could be together, I want to be. But he just says well we're cousins so we can't actually be together but we can do whatever we want as long as it's a secret. He told his dad & he brushed it off, but he still just says we can't be together. I've tried dating other people & it just doesn't work. I'm completely in love with him & it sucks that he doesn't see a future with us. I really can't give good advice to you when I'm stuck in the same exact situation..

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

that is upsetting. im not gonna tell you that your cousin is a bad person, maybe just (this may sound wierd) ,ale urself irrisistable. wear his favorite color, show some cleavege a lil but not too much and then tell him you dont care what others think, that u love him. then get up and walk away before he can respond and then wait to see if he makes the next move. pretend nothing happened after the on-sided conversation. if he gets up to chase u when u leave listen to him. if not leave and wait. casually bring it up one day after a couple months and see. would love to see how this works out! good luck

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

amy, it's upsetting that you would think that you just gave good advice. it wasn't good. it's game playing at its worst. it's manipulation. it is also demeaning and degrading.

now... i'm locking this topic.  for crying out loud, this post originated SIX YEARS ago. i am quite sure the original poster isn't hanging around to read replies.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.