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catfan

Mixed signals/how to proceed

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I'll start by saying that he is 28 and I'm 22. We see each other a couple times each year on family trips. He asked me for my snapchat on vacation last year and that's when it all started. 

I tend to post a lot of revealing snapchat stories, say what you want about it but I have fun doing so. I've noticed he watches every single one and I've definitely seen him staring and my boobs and butt before in the past. Also, those of you who have snapchat know you can clearly tell by the little preview bubble that I'm in my underwear or showing cleavage or whatever in the post. He one time (likely when drunk) responded with the horny emoji ? after viewing my story, and just last week he randomly sent me a shirtless selfie (though only the top half of his chest was showing, he may have been testing out the waters to gauge my reaction). 

Anyways last family trip he was acting really weird. We were in LA where he's never been, and he's the type who likes going out so I was surprised one night when he was "too tired" to go downtown and basically blew off going out with me. I also snapped him asking him to take me for a spin in his nice rental car and he avoided doing so and didn't snap me back. Obviously I should assume that's a sign he's not into me, but part of me thinks it's because I had dyed my hair red before the trip and I know for a fact he prefers blondes. He still continued watching all my revealing posts, and one day when we went swimming I took a lot of bikini selfies. We were all at the table eating family dinner when he watched my story, quit watching them at the table once he saw what it was, and literally went to the bathroom and finished watching the rest of my bikini posts in there.  

I have since dyed my hair blonde again and he seems to snap me more. Anyways I have no clue what to do at this point, I'll be seeing him at Christmas and am really wanting to hook up with him. I don't think he realizes I'm into him, last night I was blackout drunk and sent him a snapchat that I have zero memory of what it was. Not sure if it was innocent or sexual or what but he didn't reply. 

Should I just leave it alone at this point or maybe confront him? Also should I ask him what I sent or just leave it be? We don't get tons of alone time on family trips but he could easily make it happen on Christmas since we'll be at my aunts which is near his apartment (he took me there before and we had a few beers). 

What should my next move be? It's driving me insane to be honest. 

Side note: accidentally posted this thread twice. Sorry!! Was not intentional 

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well it really depends on what you are wanting in the long run. are you just looking for some sport sex with him, or are you wanting him to actually take you seriously as a person and treat you with respect?

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On October 24, 2016 at 0:17 PM, LadyC said:

well it really depends on what you are wanting in the long run. are you just looking for some sport sex with him, or are you wanting him to actually take you seriously as a person and treat you with respect?

Thanks for your reply. Since we have not hooked up at all yet alone discussed feelings, it's too soon to say if I want just sex or something more. At this point I'd be fine with just sex as I am extremely sexually attracted to him. Even if deeper feelings were to grow on both our end, I don't see him as the type to openly date a cousin, though I suppose he might do it secretly. If we were to hook up, maybe we would want more in the future and maybe not. But for now I am simply trying to gauge if he is into me or not and how to go about finding out. 

I don't subscribe to the notion that a woman isn't worthy of being treated respectfully for sexually expressing herself or showing her body. I am highly into fitness and have transformed by body a lot over the past few years, so that is a huge aspect as to why I show it off.

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you may not subscribe to it now, but your body isn't going to be fabulous forever... and like it or not, sport sex is never going to be fulfilling. not to you, not to the guy. this isn't me being judgmental, this is me speaking from experience... my own and millions of other women. unfortunately, wisdom comes from the school of hard knocks.

sport sex leaves you empty. and hooking up and later wanting more from that person emotionally will almost always fall apart and leave you hurting.

it's clear you are proud of, and love, your body. being fit and healthy is a great thing! but using it for all the wrong reasons is not going bring you what we all crave deep down... someone who will love you unconditionally. someone you can live with, love with, laugh with, and grow old with. using your body the way you are now is going to get you one thing. used.

again, words of experience. if you ever want to talk to someone who has been there, send me a message.

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You only see the guy a couple of times a year.

He finds you less attractive depending upon the color of your hair.

Your communication is hinged upon half nekked snap chats.  Some of which are sent in very drunken states.

You don't even have the beginnings of a relationship and at this rate the best you can hope for is  drunken sex at your next meeting.

Move on my dear.  The pursuit of this guy seems exciting because the two of you are cousins and that thrill will wear off quickly.  Find someone you can actually and truly communicate with, even if all you want is sex - at least your sex buddy will be available to you.

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