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Guest Jscj

Social stigma with 2nd cousin

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Guest Jscj

Hello everyone,

My second cousin and I met as adults as I was never close with my fathers family outside of the immediate family members.  We live in a town in Appalachia so there is a stigma and people are sensitive about it so, of course, it is less socially acceptable here contrary to popular belief.  My maternal grandmother has no problem with it and neither does my mother.  My cousin and I have gotten to know each other a little better and I confessed my attraction to her.  She said it was ok and she didn't have a problem with it.  Several of her friends have tried to get her to hook them up with me so, if anything, she was surprised but open.  My problem is that she may (I'm not sure) be nervous because of the social stigma.  I have no worries, but she may be concerned with what her friends and family think.  Of course they like and respect me now, but obviously have never considered me in that capacity.  My question is how do I inform her that there is nothing wrong with pursuing a relationship or going on a date without seeming pushy?  I don't want to send her boat loads of information.  I also am not sure how to explain that my attraction is legitimate in that I would be interested in seeing where it goes. Essentially, what is the best way to deal with a cousin where there is mutual attraction and a degree of toleration for that, but where one of them may seem reluctant in general because of the stigma.  She may not want to tell me that for fear of offending me, but I am operating under the assumption she may have reservations despite the fact she has beem receptive to what I've confessed to her so far.









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