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MissPrice

How do your friends react?

Question

For those of you who are or have been openly in relationships with cousins: what reactions do people outside your family have when you tell them about your relationship?

For us, it isn't something we announce to everyone, but eventually the "so how did you two meet?" question usually comes up with friends, and we're honest. I reply with something like "well, actually, we've known each other all of our lives. We're cousins." The reaction from that point on has been so similar with every exchange that I am curious about what others have experienced. This is my experience, basically word for word every time:

Friend: "So, like, first cousins?"

Me: "Yes, my father and his mother are siblings."

F: "Oh. Do you have the same last name?"

M: "No."

F: "Well, have you guys thought about if you want to have kids?"

M: "Yes, actually the genetic risk is much lower than you would think, only about 2-3% higher than the general population, and from what we know about our family history, there is nothing that should worry us."

F: "That's good!" [pause] "I actually used to have a crush on one of my cousins..."

At which point they tell me about their crush. Well, the crush part only happens with about two thirds of them, but that's the part that surprised me the most. The rest of it happens every time. All of our friends have been accepting, and no one has been judgemental, at least to our faces. In fact, the more people I've told, the more confident I've felt because of how well they've responded. 

What about you guys?

Edited by MissPrice

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My friends are too narrow minded and pseudo macho to risk telling them however my partner/cousins friends have been really supportive. We have told 7 or 8 close friends plus a few of her work colleagues. They have all been great and are very happy that she has found happiness and love in me. 

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My partner/cousin was really reluctant to tell his closest (male) friend when we got together. Eventually he felt like he needed to, because he was driving two hours to see me on the weekends, and wasn't available to hang out like he was before. He was pretty sure his friend wouldn't approve, and he was avoiding him instead of telling him, and his friend didn't get why he suddenly wasn't  around.  Finally he did tell him, and his friend's response was basically "dude, if it makes you happy great; I thought you were avoiding me because you were mad at me or something". Since then, that friend and I have met several times and gotten along really well. I'm sorry you feel like your friends wouldn't understand, but I hope that if you decide to tell them, they surprise you. 

Edited by MissPrice
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I am in love with my second cousin. Though i do recognise that's a situation much easier to handle than to be in love with your first cousin, there still problems on the way people realise the issue. Yeah, I have spoken to my friends about my feelings  for her. My best friends reacted and still do in a very supportive and enthusiastic way. Some first cousins were ok with it, too. Most people actually neglect what Law, Church and Genetics say about the issue. Regardless if people approve or not cousin relationships, most of them don't have a clear idea about the Legislation. However, the  head ache in such cases is the families and how they are gonna see it. 

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