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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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I think Im falling in love with my first cousin

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Guest Unknown

Im really confused and I really dont know what to do. E-Everytime Im with my cousin, all of a sudden, my heart started pounding. And everytime he leaves, I search for him, I miss him. I really dont know what to do. I dont know if I should tell him or keep it a secret or wait for the right time to tell him.

It has only been a week since I was aware of these feelings. I wanna have a future with him. I just wanna be with him forever. I wanna marry him. Spend the rest of my life with him. But its impossible... considering he's 4 to 5 years older than me. Im still in highschool and he's in college. Im still 14 and he probably just sees me as a kid. Adding the fact that he probably likes somebody.

I find some people lucky when when their cousin is used to seeing you show affection to them without them really knowing that you like them. I cant give a "cousinly" hug or a kiss on the cheek to my cousin since he's not used to seeing me give that much affection to other people like my sisters and my other cousins.

I just really need help. So many things could happen. I dont know when is the right time to tell him. I really need some advice.

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Guest Unknown,

 You're in the perfect position to get what was known around here as "Hawk's Broken Record Speech." Ready? Here goes.

 FIRST, you are young, and have your whole life ahead of you. You have no reason to rush. He's older, and will probably be in relationships of a much more serious nature than you are in any sort of position to begin at this point. Until such time as you are old enough, you need to focus on other things. Foremost being your schooling. You need to decide what you would like to do with your life, then take well planned steps to move toward those goals. Get or keep the grades up. Not everyone is going to be a rocket scientist or brain surgeon, but there are trades and occupations you can get in with much less strenuous study, which are very lucrative. Get yourself in a position to make your own way.

 In the mean time, stay in touch with this cousin. Do be sure to speak to him, and even ask advice. If he's in college, what's his major? Would he suggest something similar for you? Ask him if he thinks your choice of careers is a wise one, or, would he suggest something different. Chances are he will have insight on these things, and would be willing to share it with you. As time goes by, and you get older, depending on his relationship status, you could slip in our standard "break the ice, tried and true, test the waters" line of "You know, if you weren't my cousin, I'd ___________" Fill in the blank. Be your GF, go out with you, tell you to wait on me,.... whatever fits the conversation at the time. Just don't push too quick. You could prematurely get him interested, and, until you are of age, get him in quite the bind. Bide your time, stay in touch, build the friendship, and then, when you're ready, go for it.

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Guest Unknown.

Hawk really is wise and helpful.  I know how hard it is to be patient and told "wait till you're older".  We are here to give you support.  If you have questions or need more support, you can send me a pm.

HUGS

Nat

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