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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Decade

Make Noise

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I've been reading posts here, a bit surprised to see that there a lot of cousin couples all over the world but so few are talking about it openly. Like me, they have to look for a place to vent out and most are still in hiding.

Just thinking, why is this issue not getting attention like the LGBT. Can something be done to raise awareness, to tell the world that there's nothing wrong with loving / marrying a cousin? 

I hate it when uninformed people say mean things about this and I've heard the worst. 

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and yet you post anonymously as a guest ;)

i agree with you. but most people are just not that brave. the risks are so high. and then, there are those of us who just don't fit the profile that media people want when doing interviews... if you're not in the 20-35 age bracket, make 60k+, and have a BMI of 24.9 or less, or are baring your breasts in a mass protest, than they aren't interested in helping you get the word out. and without the media behind you, your voice is unlikely to get heard.

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Guest decade

Yes, you're right Lady C. A lot are not brave enough, like me. LOL, still worried of what others will say and get disowned by the family. but I believe that the noise has to start somewhere. It will inspire more people to speak up. This sight for one is very helpful.   

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Interesting fact: KY just passed a bill making it illegal to have sex with your pet.  So, as of a few days ago, residents of that state could have sex with Spot, but could not legally marry their 1st cousin.  Things are all a'jumbled in this crazy world.

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I wish I had known about resources like this when I was young and single. I'm glad there's a place like this for people to go to and feel safe. Hopefully one day the stigma will be gone.

Edited by ObsoletePickle
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I think we can all raise awareness in different ways. I'm lucky to be part of a very accepting community, and our friends and family as well as many of my co-workers know that my fiancee is also my first cousin. I don't broadcast it, because I don't want that to be the defining characteristic of who I am: "there goes the woman whose fiancee is her cousin". I want it to be "there's this person that I know and like and have worked with. She likes dogs and gardening and her fiancee happens to be her cousin". Then, if they have misconceptions, they are free to ask, and I am free to correct them and no one gets too uncomfortable about it.

Positive images in media of cousin couples are few and far between, but I found several in these forums, and it's helpful to recommend some of them to people as well. I know several people on this forum have talked about writing books too, and I fully support that idea - either fiction where the main characters are cousins, or nonfiction resource books.

I know what you mean about the prejudice Guest Decade, even smart, kind people who don't know about my relationship have made derogatory comments about hillbillies marrying their cousins and the like. I am particularly sensitive to this because I grew up in Appalachia, which is often subject to negative stereotypes, including ones about cousin relationships.

My partner can't be on my insurance as a domestic partner because he is my cousin, and it is illegal for us to marry in the state we live in. We have discovered that although we can't marry here, this state will recognize our marriage in another state and he will then be able to be on my insurance as my husband. We've ordered our rings, and plan to do this in a couple of weeks, but I went through a period of uncertainly and anger before we figured this out.

Laws against cousin couples should absolutely be addressed, but I'm not a lawyer, and I'm not sure I want the expense and public attention of hiring one and trying to change state laws, although my fiancee and I have talked about it.

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Guest Guest Decade

Serendipity - that's crazy! allowing sex with pets but not cousin marriage :wacko: <_< . 
Obsolete Pickle - We all wish the stigma will be gone, but the question is, how?
MissPrice - Best wishes to the both of you. You are indeed lucky to have family and friends who are open minded and accepting. I guess we have to reach out to more people who are in the same situation and ask them to speak up. We need to establish connections and get public attention. It needs to start now.
 

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