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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Merin

I need some support to convince my family regarding our relationship with each other

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Guest Merin

Hi, My name is Merin 

My story starts from when i ws send for my graduation studies to India .. little did i knw i would find the love my life .. beat of my heart .. Basically I never really wanted to get married ..coz of many reasons(which i supose is nt relevent here ) and as a matter of fact I never really felt any attraction towards anyone. Neither did I feel it for him .. infact we hated each other. .. we argue ..fight ..use swear words a lot on each other ..I mean i literally used to hate him then very sight if him used to make me go like 😝. We used to chat with each other which again ws mostly fights... I really donno hw nd when things changed in between us , it happened to me when i had to travel back to my mom nd dad in bahrin after my one year .. I ws going for one month i had to tell him my good byes .. I did .. nothg ws wrg till then time the flight took off nd I could nt stop my tears I didnt knw y i ws crying .. Bt I couldnt stop .. I wont be able to talk to him for a month ..bt then Y ws I crying I didnt knw my heart ws aching I thought it coz i miss him nd its okay to miss ur brother right . After i reached my home i ws nt happy to be back .. i didnt knw y .. nd that when i accesed fb .... nd then one day i suddenly saw the green light aganist his name . I didnt msg ..I just sat there looking at the green light thats all i wanted to see ..to make myself feel that he is still there with me . Later we used to fix a time to  chat on fb as there is lot of time difference frm where i ws staying nd frm where he ws staying . All this while I never said to him that I had cried in flight for stright 3hrs I did nt even have the food they served me .. thou it had my favirote cupcake .. i could nt hv anythg 😭. I didnt wanna tell him coz I didnt want to put any wrg thoughts in his mind .. later time passed .I ws bck in india after a month break ..all ws good .. after few months somewhere i felt .. i like him ..i didnt knw if he did ...bt after a really gooddd longggggg time he asked. ..the question that i ws waiting to here frm him 'Dont stop talking to me bt i just wanna ask u somthg ' i said okay (i knew what it ws ofcourse' nd he asked 'do u like me' ..I ws like wow clever move he wants me to tell 'I love u ' first which ws nt gonna happen I replied. . Yes I like ..whats wrg in liking 😂. Then after two days on the day on new year he called me nd said he "loves me nd if i dont pls to forget abt what he said to me nd that we should still be like hw we are right now ".I did nt reply on the same day instead thought again .. about how it can be possible .. if others will allow I knew the answer to all those questions where "NO" but I could not lie to myself could nt lie to my heart ...whatever the future would bring us I knew the truth ws I ws already in love with ..nd ws loving him more than my on life. 

His mom (my dads sister ) she knows whats going on between us so does my dad .. my mom .. his dad . Nd sister .. my mom .. brother nd a little more of our family relatives all knows bt they ask me I say No nothg as such is cooking up . Still they hv doubts on us , after few years both of us has to accept this in front of our family nd I donno hw to convince them. Please advice .

(please note : We are chirstian's from Kerala)

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I approved your post, but didn't read it.  Takes too much effort to try to sort it out.

Try using better punctuation and less text slang/abreviations

and you may  get more advice.

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Guest Interrupted

Merin, I am in the same situation right now. My family just found out, we have to face them and just admit that we are in a romantic relationship. Not sure how to talk to my family as well, but I have a feeling that we just need to be true to them. To tell them what we really feel. We can't control their reaction. They may accept, get hurt and object. We just have to be honest, strong and ready. There are things we can't control and hide forever. Let's just both pray that it turns out well for us. I'm also a Christian, good to know that is not forbidden in the bible.  

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There is a thread on this site for people from India.  You may want to look for it. You will probably find people there who can relate to the cultural demads better than those of us from the US or UK.  I cannot speak to the Indian culture at all, but I can tell you that there is nothing in the Christian Holy Book that would condemn cousin relationships or marriages.  

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