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so confused

Guest sheila

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i have been reading about cousin marriages
,if its wrong in the eyes of God.

my mother and my step-father says they live in the New Testament of the bible and they say its wrong ,my cousin is a pevert,we should know better,

we have always had love for each other,went our seperate ways with other people and had families,i went through a rough patch in my life and after 25 years apart we connected again .

i moved in with him, but i didnt feel right about what we was doing, so after 2 years i moved out,went through relationships,after relationship,hoping to find someone like my cousin{second cousin},but never could,i mean my parents knew he was good to me,but says now that hes buying my love,yadda yadda, told me to use his arse up.then turns around and says im useing him, me and my mom got into a big fight{we have never said anything wrong to each other EVER] she smacked me twice across my face because she disagrees with me and my cousin being together.

but the fact is that my step dad is a pervert and he has said  some really nasty stuff to me ,he even called me one time to see if he can come over and taste me!!! but yet she didnt wanna hear what i had to say...

i love my cousin very much and i do have a peace within me about us and our future,ive prayed and prayed about this .

any advise?

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  • Moderator

You have put everyone ahead of yourself for much, much too long.

There is no legal, moral or biblical prohibition against 2nd cousin relationships.  None.  Zippo.  Nada. Your parents are selfish and are uneducated on this topic and they will probably die in their ignorance.

YOU have to decide if you want this relationship with your cousin.  You can pray and pray all you want, but God has already given you the answer: HE has no objections to your relationship.  

My cousin and I spent 30+ years trying to stifle our feelings for each other.  In the end, we decided that we needed to be honest with each other and ourselves and at least give this relationship a try.  We got married last year.

You are an adult and get to choose the life you live.  You can choose to live your life to make others happy, or you can choose one that will bring you happiness.  Which path do you choose?


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i'll weigh in here too. my advice will sound harsh, but here it is. tell your mother that if she wants to remain in your life, that she has to accept your relationship. and don't bluff. you back it up with words. i don't know how old you are, but you're well over 25 according to the post, so you're old enough to make your own decisions. tell your mother also that she is to never, under any circumstances, strike you again. it is unacceptable behavior. let her know you love her, and that while you respect her opinion, you will not allow her to manipulate you or act abusively towards you (emotionally, verbally or physically) ever again. 

and then be prepared to walk away if she doesn't agree.

don't fret though... she will try to call your bluff. if you stand your ground, and walk away, she'll come to terms with it. a love between a mother and daughter should be unconditional... but sometimes we (both mothers AND daughters) TRY to put conditions on it. when it doesn't work, we nearly always realize that the relationship is more important than making the other do what we want them to do.

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