ippoInPI

Cousin in the philippines,my story so far

This topic has had no activity within the past six months. It is recommended that you start a new topic instead of replying to old topics.

109 posts in this topic

Ok ive been staying in the Philippines for about 1 month now and have one month left before i go back home to the states.While Ive been here i started to develop feelings for my cousin.While at first i just dismissed these feeling because she is my cousin.She has stayed in our condo(my mother has a condo here) for about almost 2 weeks out of the 1 month ive been here so far.So we have been in really close proximity to each other everyday,so that might be why i started 2 fall for her.But unlike any other girl Ive been with,it was just so easy to talk with her and i love being around her.We get along very great.When we are out shopping people think we are a couple based on the way we act.I have other cousins in the states that i have no feelings for whatsoever,but with her i look at her in a different light. Also this isn't the first time ive seen her,ive been to the philippines 2 other times for about 4months total about 10-12+ years ago so its been a while since we last seen each other.

While she was here with me for 2 weeks she did give me a massage and cracked my back.But i really don't think much of this.We would watch movies together,soap operas(really popular in the philippines).But when we were watching a soap opera she said she likes older men because the star on the soap opera is like 32-34 (she is 24 and im 22).I asked her why and she said older is better,I joked and said then he will be a old man very fast while you are still be very young.She also said i was handsome a few times,apparently i look like a good looking actor here.Also during the 2 weeks she did go back home and bring her boyfriend and best friend for me and my mom to meet.I didn't even know she had boyfriend till he was here.He is 27 and has a pretty decent job here(which is very hard to have here),I still make more then him in the states like 4000% more.In the philippines you make very little money (my other cousin makes $7-8 a day,yes thats right $7-8 a day).Ive been trying to gather information about this guy to know more about him to see if i still have a chance with her.I found out that he took out a loan for about 3000-4000 pesos which is like almost a months pay to help her family out,since the philippines was hit by that typhoon a couple of months ago.Also for him to do that he must really care for her.Also being around this guy for like a day he seems like a good guy,a little taller than me,but im better looking and in better physical shape.Right now ive been trying to gather as much information on both them in order how to act.My mind is split since this guy has done so much for her,but i don't know how much she likes him.I know he must love her to give her that kind of money.They only see each other once a week.But they do text a lot.I just don't know if it is right for me to love her but i do.

Then of course she left since my mother wanted her to go home,another province about 2 hours away.Since really she can't stay with us forever.She helps her mother and her other siblings.Her family is very poor,like many families in the philippines.After she left i just kept thinking about her more and more not in a sexual way,so its no lust this feeling i have for her.Every dream i have is about her.She is really the only thing on my mind most of the day.I know im in love with her.The second time in my life,but this is even a stronger feeling.But i do know this type of love is taboo in the philippines,even though i know the presidents son i think married his 2nd or third cousin.She is my first cousin my mother's sister's daughter so its a lot more taboo.I know i should wait and digest these feelings and see if i really do love her,but each day that she is away i only love her more.And every passing day it gets closer and closer till i have to go back home.

She is coming back to stay with us for a little while in a few days,so ive been just thinking of ways on how to express my interest for her while doing it in a subtle way and not to out in the open.She texted me a couple of days ago before my amateur boxing bout(did i mention i boxed?)that if i won that i would have to buy her ice cream.I did win so i texted her:i guess i will have to buy you ice cream now.I joked and said i would buy her some cheap ice cream and she texted back that she wanted the more expensive brand and put a hehehe jokingly at the end.So thats one thing i have to look forward to.

Sorry for the long post,just wanted to put my feelings down somewhere,since this kind of topic i can't really talk to my friends about.Honestly before i started having feelings for my cousin i would have thought anyone who loved their cousin was sick or weird.But then i happened to me.Also i will continue to update this thread with my progress with my cousin.All i can do right now is take every available angle and analyze how can we become even closer.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to think that Edgar Allen Poe was sick for marrying his cousin...THEN I FELL IN LOVE WITH MINE!  :laughter:

Question:

Do your past feelings about cousin-relationships come from the Philippine culture or from the American influence?  (I'm going to guess the American one...although I know its influence is felt in other cultures too)

If it's not in the Philippine culture to think that cousin-relationships are wrong, then she won't have a "problem" with you telling her how you feel.


You seem to have a good grasp on what needs to be done, based on what you've written already.

So, what I've written below will just be a re-phrasing of what you already know.  But, sometimes, that's what we need to encourage us to stay on that path.

(You talked about being careful...looking for opportunities to "become even closer"...  You've got it!)


If, for some reason, she has the same "taboo" feelings about first-cousin relationships that you used to, then she'll need to be updated/informed on the truth regarding cousin-relationships: THEY ARE OKAY...world-wide.

MY THOUGHTS*:

You might need to "test the waters" to see if she might have feelings for you too.

You might also have to educate her in order to get her to see that having feelings toward her cousin is okay.

try the following ideas:

Look for a way to test the waters...

  • Tell her that you could really go for a girl like her.  (SMILE really big when you say it, and say it in a light-hearted way...See how she reacts)
  • Tell her you want to marry a woman just like her (again...smiling, and seeing how she reacts)
  • Find ways of referencing FACTS about cousins being allowed to marry in certain cultures

But, ultimately, if you really think it's "love"...You will, at some point, need to sit down and tell her how you feel, before it's too late.  Make sure you are "armed" with the facts, that show/prove that it IS okay to love your cousin.

Go into this with the attitude that you simply want to relay your feelings and find out her feelings.

(Don't "ask permission" for your feelings...Simply "inform")

Sincerely,

Anonymous Couple (him)

*(Take my thoughts with a grain of salt...And read other peoples ideas too.)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well my past feelings about cousin relationships come from American culture,but i know it is taboo in the philippines.In a couple of days i ether going to her house or she is coming over to mine,so i will have some chances then to talk to her.But id rather her come to my house since she does have a lot of brothers and sisters that live with her.And it would probably help my chances if it was just me and her.But anyways i just have to take it slowly and let her know gently my feelings for her,and show her im a better match for her then her current boyfriend.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Update

My cousin didn't come to the house like i thought she would.My mom didn't want her and my other cousin staying with us at the same time,damn her.Anyways i had one opportunity on the 20th and i blew it,I just found it very hard to talk to her since the feelings i have are too strong.Anyways a girl that is also texting me sent me a txt the same day me and my cousin went to the mall together but after.The text reads:

3 simple rules

1. If you do no GO after what you want, you'll never have it

2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be "NO"

3. If you do not STEP FORWARD, You'll always be in the SAME place.

It would have been great if this text came before we went,since this would have given me a lot of courage to tell her.I did buy her a drink at one of those bubble tea type places though.

She updated her facebook and said she is now engaged.I texed her saying i didn't know she was getting married.She replied shes not maybe in 2011.And i will be coming back next year later in the fall again.I looked at her boyfriends salary he probably makes between 8,000-15,000 pesos which is like $350 a month which is actually a good job there.When i look at them they don't really match,she is very beautiful to me and he is not handsome at all, from the one time i saw him he seems like a nice guy though.Tomorrow she is going with him to the mall with him.I jokingly said for her to make him buy something expensive for her.We are texting each other right now.i asked about her boyfriend to get some reactions.And she asked about the girl texting me asking if i liked her and i said no.Just waiting for her reply,but her reply is taking longer than usual.

Also its the 26th and i go home on the 3rd so my time is almost up.We are going to her house on new years  and one time before that.So thats 2 tries.I hope to do it on the first try because i don't want to wait till the last try since it doesn't give her much time to think and reply.I will risk it and just tell her,even though my brain says there is probably a 1% it will work.I feel i better at least tell her how i feel,no matter what problems it will probably bring me.If i don't tell her i will always hate myself and the pain will get even worse.If she takes it bad i will tell her if we can remain friends and will give her money($100) every month so she can email me in the states.Since i want to have her in my life even as a friend.But i would give anything to be with her.Right now i wish i wasn't her cousin.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...

Also its the 26th and i go home on the 3rd so my time is almost up.We are going to her house on new years  and one time before that.So thats 2 tries.I hope to do it on the first try because i don't want to wait till the last try since it doesn't give her much time to think and reply.I will risk it and just tell her,even though my brain says there is probably a 1% it will work.I feel i better at least tell her how i feel,no matter what problems it will probably bring me.If i don't tell her i will always hate myself and the pain will get even worse.If she takes it bad i will tell her if we can remain friends and will give her money($100) every month so she can email me in the states.Since i want to have her in my life even as a friend.But i would give anything to be with her.Right now i wish i wasn't her cousin.

Cousins should always remain in each others lives...no matter what.

And keeping your cousin in your life, even if it's only as a friend truly shows me that you care about her.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok i will be going to her house tomorrow.I was going to go their today but when we were texting yesterday she said she wasn't going to be their so i was able to cancel it and will go tomorrow.Today i have been txting her a lot of talking about stuff.She asked me yesterday if i liked the girl that was texting me and i said no.Then she asked what kind of girl do i want.I kinda described a girl like her,but not exactly.she replied I SEE thx.

If anyone is filipino can they translate this.I used google translate and it doesn't come out right.

"salamat din mabait ka naman sakin,hehe.

Tomorrow and newyears will be my last chances.i hope she is there tomorrow.Today she was with her boyfriend since she hasn't seem him in more than a week.Since she and her family were staying with us.Anyways i hope i get some time to talk to her tomorrow.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok i will be going to her house tomorrow.I was going to go their today but when we were texting yesterday she said she wasn't going to be their so i was able to cancel it and will go tomorrow.Today i have been txting her a lot of talking about stuff.She asked me yesterday if i liked the girl that was texting me and i said no.Then she asked what kind of girl do i want.I kinda described a girl like her,but not exactly.she replied I SEE thx.

If anyone is filipino can they translate this.I used google translate and it doesn't come out right.

"salamat din mabait ka naman sakin,hehe.

Tomorrow and newyears will be my last chances.i hope she is there tomorrow.Today she was with her boyfriend since she hasn't seem him in more than a week.Since she and her family were staying with us.Anyways i hope i get some time to talk to her tomorrow.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

go go go.. tell her.. whatever is the result at least u tell her.. u have no burden feelings and if ever u were rejected it's not too painful on ur side..

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I did it.I didn't get the chance to say my feelings to her face but only in a letter i had with me just incase i couldn't get her alone while at her house.She was shocked to her i had feelings 4 her we txted that night a lot.I said i wasn't joking and that i loved her.The next 2 days we txted about 200 txts.I told her not to hate me for feeling this way about her.she was very understanding and kind and was willling to talk to me.she said my feelings were wrong and its wrong to love your cousin.I said the god in the bible commanded cousins to marry before.i said albert einstien's parents were first cousins and he married his first cousin.That marriage between cousins is legal in the U.S. and most of the world.I said i would do anything to have her and give up everything just to be with her.She said she didn't believe what i was saying.And she always thought that it is wrong and a sin to love/marry your cousin.I said how is loving someone wrong?and i don't choose who i love.And also love comes in unexpected places.That she was my second love.She said maybe im right that we don't choose who we love,but this is wrong.Then she said the babies would be abnormal.I said the chances of that happening are very small only a 2-3% increase from normal couples.And we only have one life to find happiness and love and love is the most important thing in someones life.She was happy to hear that i thought love was the most important thing in ones life.I said i remembered every little thing she did while she was with me,i remember what side she puts her hair on,the way she walks,talks,favorite ice cream,colors,i loved the way she sings.And that i would spend every day of my life making her happy.We talked about her boyfriend.She said when he confessed to her that she did not love him,but he was a kind and simple guy.I asked how can you be with him if you don't love him.she said he was always there for her and always so kind to her.And it took over a year for her to learn to love him.I said how can you learn to love?I only know how to love,i said i can learn to like things but i can never learn to love them.She said 5 months ago she saw the guy she loved was married and thought i guess it was never ment to be.I said love is something worth fighting for.Then she said maybe if she didn't have her boyfriend and i wasn't her cousin that she could fall in love with me.I said loving your cousin is not wrong just different and harder,but not wrong.I said just think of me as a man,just think of me as a man who loves you.She said when i think of you just as a man i think i can love you and that maybe you could prove your love to me and choose between you and her boyfriend.But you are my cousin and its wrong and a sin and wished that i wasn't her cousin,because she could fall in love with me very fast since me and her boyfriend are very much alike.We are both kind and simple men,where love i the most important thing.Her boyfriend is 27 and she is his first girl friend.She wanted me to forget her since the feeling i have is impossible.I said how can i forget someone like you i don't choose this,i knew right from the start that this was almost impossible but possible.And that no matter how hard i knew i would fail that i had to try.Since i never wanted something so bad in my life as i want her.She said my feelings hurt her,I said did you not feel anything at all when reading my letter?She said she did feel something but was scared to feel since i was her cousin.I said don't deny your feelings,how is luv wrong.but she always said it was wrong and a sin.I was about to lose her so i said i want you in my life even if its just a friend since i love her so much,she said i love you to but not in that way since its wrong.We were good for a couple of hours.Then i made a big mistake.She kept on saying before my mom would get mad.So i said i told my mom that i loved her even though she was my cousin. and that she was mad at first but she told me she didn't care who you i love as long as i love her.It didn't matter if she was poor.Then she blocked my phone and sent my mom a txt saying she doesn't want me the way i want her and its wrong and a sin,and not to get angry at her for not liking her son and that she loves her boyfriend.I had my moms phone of course and used it to apoligizefor hurting her and betrying her trust.And that i never ment to hurt her this way.And that i was so sorry.I said i didn't really tell my mom,and i only lied because i thought my mom was the only thing stopping her.Since she was always saying my mom would get mad.i txted about 10 times saying sorry and forgive me,and that i now know that we can never be together and that she really does her boyfriend very much.She didn't txt back till the next day.She was still willing to be my friend which made my very happy.I said i would never hurt her again,and that my feelings would never be hers and wished her all the happiness in the world and that her boyfriend was the luckiest guy in the world to have a special girl like her.She said that i hurt her too much since she never expected me to feel this way for her and that i was her cousin.and she loves her boyfriend very much.And that she is willing to see my one final time before i go back home to the states.I said i don't deserve to see her after how much i hurt her,but i said im hurting a lot more than you.But she said she doesn't believe anything i say after i lied.I said i only lied for you.And that just believe that my feelings are true and i was once truthful.

I guess now i just have to deal with the fact she is with him.I can't get over the fact that she is his first girlfriend at 27 almost 28 years old.she is 23,24 next year.I will always love her and wish happiness for her,but i will always hope once day that we will be together even if its when we are 70 years old.I just want to be married to her in my life.Even if its only a short time i want to be together.But i believe she never once believed i really loved her.I wish i could have stoppd that txt and not push her to far.And that i should have only txted a little so she could think and then confess again in person so she really did know i was not playing around.I no longer can do that now when i go over there today because i don't want to make a mistake and lose her forever.I  hope she will still agree to let me email her from the states.I will still want her always and im coming back next year so maybe i try again,but for now i have to deny and hide my feelings because i don't want to lose her as a friend.I can only hope her boyfriend makes a mistake but i don't want her to be unhappy.I just hope someday she will see me just as a man,she still calls me cousin,Never once do i call her my cousin,i can only see her as a women.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We got to spend new years together,I showed her that my feelings are true she really believes it now.After new years i went back home.We txted more,she said she believes me now.I asked her if she would stay with me one last time before i left the Philippines she did.We went together to sm.We ate lunch we chatted,i asked about my feelings for her.talked about ourselves.She said and knows im a really good guy and that im young and there are many girls for me to meet.I said i only want one.After we left while walking she held my hand and had her hand on my shoulder as we walked for a bit.Why would she do this?Unless she had feelings for me.On the jeepnee people ask her if im her husband or boyfriend she just says just a friend Fil-am.I say we make a good couple.She doesn't call me cousin anymore,i told her not to call me that anymore since it hurts me to much.Back at the condo,i asked her if she let me take pictures of us together and she agreed.She smiles when she takes pictures with me.She only has 1 picture with her and boyfriend.Both of them not even smiling.She laughs she smiles when she is with me.Then she left.I just txt her that i miss her so much and i love her more than anything.She txted back saying she wanted to say something in person to me.I asked what was it,She said that she loves me,but its a useless feeling since its impossible.I said its possible you can have me,but i know it will be hard for you to accept.I say i love her all the time because its true and she knows it.Im back home in the states now,i emailed her,but it will take a while 4 her to email back since she doesn't go to the internet cafe often.Im going to email next week to ask if its ok for me to call her.I have magic jack so it will be free 4 me to call.I Never expected her to love me in a day,i told her that with time maybe.I hope i can open her heart to me with my kindness and love for her one day.I know she loves me,but doesn't want to feel those feelings.She keeps trying to hide them,or ignore them.I just love her So much.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We got to spend new years together,I showed her that my feelings are true she really believes it now.After new years i went back home.We txted more,she said she believes me now.I asked her if she would stay with me one last time before i left the Philippines she did.We went together to sm.We ate lunch we chatted,i asked about my feelings for her.talked about ourselves.She said and knows im a really good guy and that im young and there are many girls for me to meet.I said i only want one.After we left while walking she held my hand and had her hand on my shoulder as we walked for a bit.Why would she do this?Unless she had feelings for me.On the jeepnee people ask her if im her husband or boyfriend she just says just a friend Fil-am.I say we make a good couple.She doesn't call me cousin anymore,i told her not to call me that anymore since it hurts me to much.Back at the condo,i asked her if she let me take pictures of us together and she agreed.She smiles when she takes pictures with me.She only has 1 picture with her and boyfriend.Both of them not even smiling.She laughs she smiles when she is with me.Then she left.I just txt her that i miss her so much and i love her more than anything.She txted back saying she wanted to say something in person to me.I asked what was it,She said that she loves me,but its a useless feeling since its impossible.I said its possible you can have me,but i know it will be hard for you to accept.I say i love her all the time because its true and she knows it.Im back home in the states now,i emailed her,but it will take a while 4 her to email back since she doesn't go to the internet cafe often.Im going to email next week to ask if its ok for me to call her.I have magic jack so it will be free 4 me to call.I Never expected her to love me in a day,i told her that with time maybe.I hope i can open her heart to me with my kindness and love for her one day.I know she loves me,but doesn't want to feel those feelings.She keeps trying to hide them,or ignore them.I just love her So much.

Good job at slowly trying to open her heart. Seems like she's trying to "learn" to accept your feelings for her (just like she "learned" to love her current boyfriend.) The fact that she is still communicating with you is a good sign that there may be something there (I mean, the two of you would have already stopped talking by now if she thought that your feelings were truly a grievous sin, right?) Judging by the way she acted around you on that day (referring to the post I'm replying to), she might be trying to get a feel for being with you in a "lover" type scenario.

Its great that you've got confidence in saying that her boyfriend is not a right match for her. Deep down, she probably realizes that too but, is afraid of what your family may say or think. Trust me when I say this, making your desired gender cousin see that cousin love is not wrong is easy compared to the goliath that is the family's overall opinion. I'm Filipino as well, and you have no idea the backlash I got when they found out that I was dating my cousin. It was easy with my ex/cousin, her siblings, and one of our other cousins because they (her siblings and our other cousin) they knew how close her and I are and that it was inevitable that it would happen. My ex/cousin didn't really need time to think about the issue, she just jumped on it because she felt the same way about me.

Unfortunately, your cousin doesn't appear to show the same enthusiasm about the prospect of dating her cousin as mine. More than likely, she's feeling mixed emotions right now because she may have to go against the norm. if she wants to be with you. Casting aside everything she thought she knew about the subject, and risking scrutiny from the family. On one hand, she has an obligation to marry her boyfriend. On the other, she's got a chance to be with someone that makes her happy but, she's not sure because its taboo.

All I can tell you is that, be good to her, don't try to push the issue too far (as to drive her away), and don't lose hope.

Good luck to you, friend.

Mabuhay!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm from Philippines too.

Me and my second cousin (we share the same surname) are very much in love with each other. I never felt so much comfortable with any guy, only with him. We both started to deny our feelings with each other so we just did forget about it. how did i know we share same feelings with each other? he confessed it to me. he's now my boyfriend but our parents doesn't know. we are very serious about our relationship that's why we would like to know what's the best way to tell our family. His idea is to tell them after we've graduated college so that they will know that we are very serious. that's what he told me. All of his siblings know that i'm his gf and my siblings also know that he's my bf except for my eldest brother. at this point, his parents are already suspecting us that our relationship is not anymore just cousins but lovers too. i know it's not wrong since it's legal to marry your second cousin in the philippines but his father's and my mother's attitude is like they wouldn't listen and they only believe the things they believe is right. They don't want to be corrected. That's what making me worry. Please help me. I really need. I have a feeling that soon they will discover our secret. We both don't want to be separated from each other. The family we have isn't aware of the legality of cousin marriages in the Philippines and they think it's not right. We've wanted to have our own family in the future. Please, i really need your help.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^^isn't the son of the president married to his second cousin?

My and my cousin are still talking we are just emailing right now.Yesterday she went to her friends house to use her webcam.Then after she went to the internet cafe.We probably chatted like 2 hours.In her emails she says she is starting to fall in love with me.And she told me when we were chatting on ym yesterday that she loves her boyfriend,but that shes not in love with him.Her boyfriend i guess started to notice that she is acting weird around him and thought it might be another guy.She said that she thinks of me when shes with him.He asked her that her love for him was not 100%.She said it was only 85%.So her boyfriend is giving her time to think.I told her do what your heart wants,you only live once.And that i want her to be happy.And that i would always love her.I don't want her to be with him if shes not in love with him.I know she thinks hes a great guy,but if you are not in love then why be with him.I just have to wait and see now.I hope she follows her heart.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I called her yesterday,we talked for about 20mins then got disconnected from yahoo voice,it wouldn't let me use the full $10.00 all at once.About .20cents a min plus connection fees.She went to the computer shop so we could talk on ym.we talked for a while about 2 hours.I think now she is slowly thinking its ok to love me.She has been thinking a lot about me.I just keep telling her just to follow her heart,and i will be there to support you no matter what choice you take.She now says she loves me.She never said that before to me.Just right now it will be very hard for us since distance separates us.All i can do now is just continue to call and talk on ym and develop our relationship until i return this year.She asked what will she do,i said don't think about that right now,since we have a lot of time to talk and think about how we will approach what to do next.I can only just hope and pray it works out.But I at least got a little of what I wanted.Which is a chance.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I called her yesterday,we talked for about 20mins then got disconnected from yahoo voice,it wouldn't let me use the full $10.00 all at once.About .20cents a min plus connection fees.She went to the computer shop so we could talk on ym.we talked for a while about 2 hours.I think now she is slowly thinking its ok to love me.She has been thinking a lot about me.I just keep telling her just to follow her heart,and i will be there to support you no matter what choice you take.She now says she loves me.She never said that before to me.Just right now it will be very hard for us since distance separates us.All i can do now is just continue to call and talk on ym and develop our relationship until i return this year.She asked what will she do,i said don't think about that right now,since we have a lot of time to talk and think about how we will approach what to do next.I can only just hope and pray it works out.But I at least got a little of what I wanted.Which is a chance.

Win post is win!!!

...well, at least so far. Keep up the good work, pare!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good luck  :ok: Sounds like it's a promising beginning! Do keep us all posted!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Its just very hard right now.She says she loves loves me and wants to be with me,but keeps saying if we are together and happy that everyone else will be hurt because of us.I keep telling her that she doesn't know that for sure.And that i know they will be very surprised,but i don't think they will be mad at us forever.It just seems like she wants to give up even before we have a chance to be together.I don't want to push her away.Im still calling her we talk for a long time on the phone, i know she loves me and she knows i love her.Right now she is just so afraid of what is going to go happen if she chooses me.I think i just have to slow this down and let it develop further.I didn't think we were moving that fast.Maybe we just be friends for now.Then when i go back there this year try and be together.I know if i had more time in the Philippines at least 2 months more our relationship would of been even stronger and would of dealt with the problems together.It just seems like she wants to give up so easy without even trying.Or trying to protect herself or me.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi there ippo!! I am from the Philippines too.. It's been awhile since I dropped by cc.com, nearly more than 2 years now.  Reading your story makes me envious, I wish my cousin was more like you.  My male 1st cousin and I both practically live in the same neighborhood since we were kids.  We were playmates actually, I usually visit their house maybe once a week.  Unlike your story though, our involvement started with teenage lust, with kisses and touching and developed into love as we grew older.  He is 34 now and I'm 32.  The problem is he was the one in denial before when we were younger, while I was open with my feelings for him, telling him that I wanna be with him and I didn't care for any consequences.  He was the one afraid, what people might say, how our families would react like disowning us.  He thinks we are not normal because we our 1st cousins in love.  Well, can't blame him, it is taboo in the Phils., marrying a cousin esp. of the 1st degree. 

He had several gfs during the course of our lives (we see each other on and off) while I remained single.  We did not talk about loving each other until our late 20s.  I really wished he was like you, unafraid of how you feel.. =)  He chose a normal life so he got married 3 years ago, shattered my heart into many pieces.  He now lives in Manila while I stayed in our hometown down south. I hated him for not choosing me... After his marriage, i chose to cut off all communications with him for almost 2 years.  Till last Xmas, that I couldn't escape our lil family reunion.  We talked again, and this time he was so sure of his feelings for me, he said he loves me so, he realized it when he lost me for 2 yrs. He said he would have married me if we were not cousins. But still we are hopeless, we can never be together and I'm suffering because of it.  Because of this, I told him that we should stop whatever we have, and he agreed to let me go as long as we remain in touch and be as friends / cousins.  I'm not sure If I can do that.  Anyway, I admire you for your courage ippo, I wish he was more like you, I think we would have been happy together today...

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi there ippo!! I am from the Philippines too.. It's been awhile since I dropped by cc.com, nearly more than 2 years now.  Reading your story makes me envious, I wish my cousin was more like you.  My male 1st cousin and I both practically live in the same neighborhood since we were kids.  We were playmates actually, I usually visit their house maybe once a week.  Unlike your story though, our involvement started with teenage lust, with kisses and touching and developed into love as we grew older.  He is 34 now and I'm 32.  The problem is he was the one in denial before when we were younger, while I was open with my feelings for him, telling him that I wanna be with him and I didn't care for any consequences.  He was the one afraid, what people might say, how our families would react like disowning us.  He thinks we are not normal because we our 1st cousins in love.  Well, can't blame him, it is taboo in the Phils., marrying a cousin esp. of the 1st degree. 

He had several gfs during the course of our lives (we see each other on and off) while I remained single.  We did not talk about loving each other until our late 20s.  I really wished he was like you, unafraid of how you feel.. =)  He chose a normal life so he got married 3 years ago, shattered my heart into many pieces.  He now lives in Manila while I stayed in our hometown down south. I hated him for not choosing me... After his marriage, i chose to cut off all communications with him for almost 2 years.  Till last Xmas, that I couldn't escape our lil family reunion.  We talked again, and this time he was so sure of his feelings for me, he said he loves me so, he realized it when he lost me for 2 yrs. He said he would have married me if we were not cousins. But still we are hopeless, we can never be together and I'm suffering because of it.  Because of this, I told him that we should stop whatever we have, and he agreed to let me go as long as we remain in touch and be as friends / cousins.  I'm not sure If I can do that.  Anyway, I admire you for your courage ippo, I wish he was more like you, I think we would have been happy together today...

My cousin she confessed that shes in love with me.But it seems she doesn't want to risk losing her family.I really don't think she will lose her family i know they will be shocked,but i don't think her mother would want to lose her eldest daughter.And i know her brothers would be shocked also.Everyone would be shocked its a natural feeling for this.Im well liked with our family,im in high standing,they know me as a good man,honest,hardworking,smart.But the thing the hurts me the most is that she would be with someone she is not even in love with,and not with me someone who she is in love with.In the Philippines they are more accepting of gays than just people who love each other that just happen to be cousins.People can't say to me i didn't look hard enough for another women,there are many women who want to be with me.But how can i be with them when the only person i love is my cousin.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Anyone know of any successful cousin couples in the Philippines?Couples that stayed together and raised a family?Just wanted to know since the Philippines,i think really make it hard for cousins to stay together do enormous social pressure.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just gonna give a update.Haven't posted in a while due to being busy with school which I'm now done with.Also been busy with work.

Pretty much what has happened is we chat and use voip almost 3 times a week.We talk sometimes for 4-5 hours,which leaves me sometimes with no sleep due to the time difference.But its ok for me since Id rather talk with her than sleep.Its just so easy for us to talk with each other about anything even really personal things,its like talking to someone ive known for many years.Talking 5 hours with her feels like 30mins until I actually look at the time and find its 2 or 3 in the morning.

Right now due to me being back in the states and her in the Philippines makes my job of trying to keep me in her heart that much more difficult.She still has feelings for me as I for her.But Her boyfriend is there and she is very far away from me.I told her I'm coming back later this year so she knows I will be there soon.She knows one of the main reasons for me coming back is her.I'm staying 4-5 months,so this time I will treat it as my last time to make something happen.Since there are no more chances after this.

When we talk about the subject of us being together,she has changed her opinion a little.But is of course still hesitant because of the taboo nature of this.

When i go back It will be much easier for me when we can talk face to face again.I know if she can find strength in me maybe she will finally just take a chance.Because I'm willing to due whatever it takes to make this happen.

Right now she is getting a job there soon which will limit the amount of time we can talk with each other and also with me getting busier every day.So right now I just have 4 months till we can meet again.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wasn't there a movie about cousin relationships? I remember when I was younger, my mom and sister took me along with them to see a movie. If I remember correctly, it was about 2 cousins who fell in love with each other, confessed, and secretly kept it from the family until someone exposed their relationship. I don't remember how it ended, but I know I remember seeing it.

It was a Filipino.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also if she is really against being with me,wouldn't she tell me to stop talking about this subject and tell me to completely give up all hope?I also sing to her also which i never done for another girl before.And she doesn't have to talk to me as frequently as we do.Since its her who can dictate how much we can talk.She doesn't have to stay in a computer shop for 4-5 hours sometimes but shes does.If she is really so against this wouldn't she try and limit our communication?

I know shes says that she wishes things could be different than maybe things can happen,but i tell her things are not different and just have to accept the way things are and try and make the best of it.I say everyone can't be mad forever.Some will forget over time and some won't,you can't make everyone accept this.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead