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ippoInPI

Cousin in the philippines,my story so far

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update

ok for the past 2 weeks we have been txting everyday since she has the sun sim card we can txt from yahoo messenger for 24 hours unlimited.So sometimes we are txting 7-12 hours at a time.Also sometimes i call her but it costs me $30-$40 every time we talk at $.20cents a minute.Its so easy for us to talk about anything,we talk about marriage,kids,and other hard topics, like what would happen if we did that THING together.i was surprised when she asked me about that.Ive been telling her to give us a chance,and i think she is really considering it.I told her i wanted her to be my girlfriend,she really is entertaining the idea.But she did say do not expect too much from her,and shes right,i don't want to expect anything,i don't want to hurt myself by expecting anything.I told her no matter what happens she is always special to me and i always want her in my life.She says the same thing also she wants me in her life no matter what.I just tell her to follow her heart even if it wants you to make hard choices.Before she said love wasn't that important but over time with talking with me its starting to become more and more important.

She says "I love you" Mahal kita or "I love you very much"mahal na mahal kita sometimes  to me.And she says what she feels with me she doesn't feel with her boyfriend, and also she never loved anyone as much as me before.She says its ok for me to kiss her,hug her,hold hands, all the things you do as a couple.When talking about a chance together she said she can only give me a few months 3-5 months to see what happens.If thats all i can have i have to take it.I just have to do the best i can and see where our love can take us.I said how about if i wanted to be with you longer and she said she doesn't know.She said the only way we can be together the way i want is if she had a baby.But our chance together is only 3-5 months so we would have to do that THING together,but i think 3-5 months is too short of time for that to happen.But i hope it does happen between us.

only have a few months left till I'm back in the philippines,i'm putting my life on hold for about 1 year for this,but i think its ok for something like this,not many chances in life for love.Even if we don't end up together i know we can become at least great friends.

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UPDATE.

Leaving for the Philippines next week,i just hope for the best for me and my cousin.  :smiley:

It will be 8 months since we last seen each other,but we stayed in contact through instant messaging and video chats,and me calling her maybe 1 or 2 times a month. I know we have gotten closer during this time and are better friends because of it.We are both comfortable in sharing anything with each other.And we always talk about being more than friends even though she has a boyfriend right now.Info on her boyfriend,she has been with him for more than 2 years and he has asked her to marry him more than once but she can't seem to say yes to him.Right now she asked him that she needs 3 months for herself to think.So during this time she doesn't want to see him but they still talk and text on the phone.So during this time and more is a time for me and her.

During these 8 months she said twice already that its better to be just friends,but later always changed her mind,maybe because of the things i say to her.The most recent time she said it was better to just be friends was 2 weeks ago,and then last week she said maybe its better to take the chance because maybe it may never come.And yesterday the same thing she wants to see what will happen when i'm there.Also i know the sooner i got to me going there she would start to think more about me and her together, and i knew maybe it would be too hard for her.So i just have to wait and see when i'm there what happens.

She says i have many choices for a easy life,and shes right.There are so many girls i can be with and she knows that also.Sometimes she wonders why i want a hard life with her when its easier to be with someone else.And she says in 2-3 years that i can love someone else,and forget about her.But she is very wrong about that.

Honestly when i think about us together,i really don't think she can leave her boyfriend for me,and be able to fight for what she feels,she will give us a chance together to see what happens for us but in the end i feel we won't end up together when i leave there.I would do anything for her,and i said i would accept whatever decision she makes for us.She says she loves me more than one else even her boyfriend,and is sure of what she feels.That she wants us to end up together and her heart wants me more than just friends.She has said so many things to me,but really now i think just empty words.Really i feel i'm just an option for her,but for me she is the only one i see and everything for me.

I'm going to see what happens with us and see if our chance together can have a future.But i honestly already think i know the outcome.I still want to try though and do everything and anything for us to be together and hope for the best.

I never expected her to fall in love with me also,so i hope i'm wrong about what i think will probably happen.I just hope she can maybe find strength in me.And when we are together i hope she can feel even more love with me.

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Guest sarah geron

hi!i've been reading your entries since i decided to make a research about romantic love among cousins here in the philippines..i searched google for articles and i came across your blogs..i fell in love with your story and i am more inspired to do the research..i am not against or pro regarding this issue..but if it is love, no one should be against it..i hope you two end up together..:)

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hi!i've been reading your entries since i decided to make a research about romantic love among cousins here in the philippines..i searched google for articles and i came across your blogs..i fell in love with your story and i am more inspired to do the research..i am not against or pro regarding this issue..but if it is love, no one should be against it..i hope you two end up together..:)

Oo i think if its love its worth doing everything for it.I put my whole life on hold for a year just to see her again and maybe try for her if we have a chance together.Really i don't even care if at the end we just remain friends because she is so important in my life now,but something like this i have to try for and have no regrets.I hope she is able to love with her heart when i'm there and not worry about us being cousins and just love me just as a man.I really do hope we end up together,we just have to see what happens this year for us.

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Guest joey18

Hey Ippo Go for it! Fight for it! Enjoy it!

I live with such heartache and regret for not doing that very thing. (read my story)

Good luck!

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Guest avee812

Hi there ippo!! I am from the Philippines too.. It's been awhile since I dropped by cc.com, nearly more than 2 years now.  Reading your story makes me envious, I wish my cousin was more like you.  My male 1st cousin and I both practically live in the same neighborhood since we were kids.  We were playmates actually, I usually visit their house maybe once a week.  Unlike your story though, our involvement started with teenage lust, with kisses and touching and developed into love as we grew older.  He is 34 now and I'm 32.  The problem is he was the one in denial before when we were younger, while I was open with my feelings for him, telling him that I wanna be with him and I didn't care for any consequences.  He was the one afraid, what people might say, how our families would react like disowning us.  He thinks we are not normal because we our 1st cousins in love.  Well, can't blame him, it is taboo in the Phils., marrying a cousin esp. of the 1st degree. 

He had several gfs during the course of our lives (we see each other on and off) while I remained single.  We did not talk about loving each other until our late 20s.  I really wished he was like you, unafraid of how you feel.. =)  He chose a normal life so he got married 3 years ago, shattered my heart into many pieces.  He now lives in Manila while I stayed in our hometown down south. I hated him for not choosing me... After his marriage, i chose to cut off all communications with him for almost 2 years.  Till last Xmas, that I couldn't escape our lil family reunion.  We talked again, and this time he was so sure of his feelings for me, he said he loves me so, he realized it when he lost me for 2 yrs. He said he would have married me if we were not cousins. But still we are hopeless, we can never be together and I'm suffering because of it.  Because of this, I told him that we should stop whatever we have, and he agreed to let me go as long as we remain in touch and be as friends / cousins.  I'm not sure If I can do that.  Anyway, I admire you for your courage ippo, I wish he was more like you, I think we would have been happy together today...

Dear... if not exact, we share a very similar story. Started with curiosity and lust then he just can't fight for me. I am tired all these years with confusion. I emailed him 10 days ago since he's MIA again that I can't bear it anymore, I love him and forever will be but I'm tired of his games and told him to stay out of my life.

Although I wish that he'd come back to me to talk things through... he's nowhere. I think I blew my last chance to be with him but I've done for self-respect.

I still cry every night. :cry:

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Guest mireign17

thats our problem too...were 1st cuz and weve been for 7yrs now..we dont want to let go each other,but we have an agreement 2yrs frm now we will our parents about our relationship..were at the right age and our job is stable...were a bit afraid of what they might think and say...but were just only human falling inlove!!!!we dnt know how it happens...hope they can legalized it here in the phils.just like in other country...someone out there give us advice, a good advice...T.Y

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Update!!!!!!!

We met again for the first time day in more than 8 months after many hours of talking and txting each other.

We were both nervous to see each other again after a long time being away from each other and after many things that have been said.We i first saw her we just said the normal hi and good to see you again and took the elevator up to my room at the condo.I was so very nervous and i know she was also.While in the room we just acted normal  front of my mother like we are just cousins and friends only.We ate and talked a bit then me and her left to go to one of the SM malls here in the Philippines. While in the elevator i said i wanted to stop on the 4th floor because i have something i wanted to say to her and do(my room is on the 5th floor).

I just said its been a long time since we have seen each other and we hugged for 1min and i gave her a kiss on the cheek only.We both said we missed each other very much.Then we got on the trike and then on the bus to Sm.While there we walked around the mall together and bought snacks for the movie we watched(going the distance).While watching the movie we were holding hands,i put my arm around her,she also rested her head on my shoulder.

After we ate at jollibee and we talked for about 1 hour or so.We talked about us,being together,i said my feelings to her and her to me,and many other things.Then went back home on the bus and the trike i was holding her hand and on the trike i put my arm around her and our bodies were very close.

At the condo i said i have to stop on the 4th floor again because i have something i want to do and say.I said "I love you." for the first time in person to her and also "mahal kita" I love you in tagalog,she said the same thing back to me.I hugged her for a long time then we kissed for the first time,and we kissed again for a total of 5mins or so,then on the stairs we just held each other while sitting down i was behind her.We were just holding each other and kissing for about 30-40mins.Gave her a massage also.Its like we were already a couple and everything just normal for us.Nothing felt wrong at all.She said with me she feeling like what was missing from her boyfriend she finds in me.We both said we feel happy.

Back at the room everything is normal of course in front of my mom,then she left and i told her to wait by the stairs again before she leaves because I want to do something again.

So i just gave her a goodbye hug and we kissed again.

She said she wants to take the chance with me.So now she is my girlfriend and we will just see what happens for us.I know my feelings for her and i know later on if she wants to be with more with me,i will do everything for her and i'm not scared to do it.

Everything went well for our first day seeing each other again,we are boyfriend and girlfriend now.We hugged and kissed like we are not cousins.I know the future is uncertain still,but i know more has happened than i ever imagined ever happening with us.Right now i'm just so happy.

Also our ages i'm 22 half-Filipino-half-Italian from the United States she is 24 and born and raised in the Philippines.She is my first cousin.

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Guess i jumped the gun a bit,we are not boyfriend in girlfriend yet.She is still with her boyfriend so i guess she is cheating on her boyfriend with me.Her boyfriend loves her very much,but he does know that she doesn't love him the way he loves her.

I know she loves me a lot more than him,but shes been with him for more than 2 years and is scared to hurt him by breaking up,but i hope with more time she will have the courage to do it . I'll be in the philippines for 5 months i hope that is enough time.

Me and her will be spending a lot of time together in the coming months after her work contract is done in 1.5 months.

I just hope she can find strength in me,someone who is trying to do everything for her even if its so hard for us.Cousin relationships in the philippines are a big no no.

I told her this is our life,we make our own choices,and that i'm not afraid to love her and be with her,and face our family to be with her.I said not many chances for us in our lifetime.And that i would never forgive myself if i didn't do everything for her to be with me.I'm a man and no one tells me how to live my life.I know what is right and wrong,and i know my feelings are not wrong no one can ever tell me different.

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Ok so now we meet like either once every week or every 2 weeks due to her job.We met last monday and did the usually boyfriend girlfriend stuff like going to the movies,we spent the whole day together like 12 hours.Everything is going pretty well between us,i know she is loving me more and more everytime we meet so thats good.And i know that i make her very happy and she knows she makes me so happy.Really if we were not cousins she would be with me already and have already left her boyfriend.But also i know if she does leave her boyfriend right now i might not be the best time due to maybe everyone might be looking at me as the suspect.Because most of her friends suspect its me,and not a guy from her past like she says.Her bestfriend already knows before i had a crush on my cousin.When she asked again if i like her i said no.

Forgot to mention on the first day we met i gave her a rememberance ring with an engraving on it.It reads on the outside "Mahal na Mahal kita then her name" which means "i love you very much".On the inside the engraving is "forever in my heart then my initials".She wears this ring every where,all her friends and co-workers think she is getting married or something.Her boyfriend asked her who gave her this ring and she said it was her friend.But of course with an engraving like that he knows that the guy who gave that to her is more than just a friend.Also he suspects that she is doing something for a while now,she always hides her phone from him.He also said that she is cheating on him,she said no.She has already told him that she loves another guy,but he said that he doesn't give up easy.

Also we always talk about serious things like about the future,US,having a family,babies,what will our babies look like,their names,ect

I also tell her i don't like doing this because she has a boyfriend,and also that i feel i only have her 50% because she still has a boyfriend.but of course i'm still happy that we are doing the things we are doing together even if she still has a boyfriend.I hope she will break up at the right time,and choose me because we love each other.

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BIG UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!

My cousin spent the last 2 days here.After her work i waited till she got off and then we took the bus home.We always act like boyfriend and girlfriend when we are together.And her friends know that me and her are close.Her Best friend knows that i like her even when i told her i don't.We always talk and txt.I'm always trying for us to spend lots of time together.

Then the next day we spent the whole day together at home at the condo.Then my mother left to go to the the mall for a couple of hours.So it was just me and her there alone together.Then of course we just layed on the bed together in each others arms kissing and hugging for 20-30mins and also talking.Then one thing led to another we ended up making love.And now of course she is worried she might be pregnant,it happened 11-12 days after her period.I told her i love her so much,and we both say it happened because we love each other so much.And all i want is for us to be happy together,even if its going to be hard,i know i can do everything for her.And now we are both very close now.I told her its ok for us to be together,with everything thats happened so far.

So now we are both just waiting till next month to find out if we are going to have a baby or not.So she is really worried,and can't stop thinking.Me i'm worried also,i'm worried if she doesn't or does have a baby.I have always been talking about her breaking up with her boyfriend.And after this happened i know she shouldn't be with him and she knows it also.We both love each other and feel complete happiness when we are together,so i see no reason now that we cannot be together.

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Things are getting more complicated.Her boyfriend just put a down payment on a house,so that makes me really worried because i think he might ask her to marry him soon.And i know even after what happened with us,its still easier to say no to me.She says easy for her mind to say yes to him but easy for her heart to say yes to me.And now we are waiting till next week to see if she is going to miss her period and if we are going to have a baby.But i know shes is in a very difficult situation,but she always tells me a life with him is just an ok life.She said she will feel not completely happy to be with him and that she doesn't see herself being with him for a long time,but that even if she doesn't love him that much that its still ok to marry and have children with him,because everyone will be happy and its still a ok life in her mind.She said with me that she will feel complete and very happy and have a once in a life time kind of love,but that it will be very hard.And now she doesn't know what she is going to say if her boyfriend asks her to marry him,i said do you just want to pretend everything that happened with me and you was just a dream?And after what happened that its still ok to say yes and keep such a big secret from him?

So now we are just both waiting,having some much stress right now.

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Update again,we are waiting again till December 6,7, or 8 to see if my cousin misses her period or not.Many things keep happening for us,we both keep on having sex every time we see each other.But now i'm going to stop it since it seems its not going anywhere.And i don't want to just keep having sex for nothing.I thought for sure since it happened already one time that she would leave her boyfriend,and was almost certain after it happened so many times after.But it she is still with him,he is giving her space now since she told him that she is in love with another guy.

He doesn't know the whole story and all that has happened so far between me and my cousin.Also i'm giving her space also and we are not seeing each other.We are just talking on the phone and txting now.

Even all that has happened so far,she still considers staying with her boyfriend since a life with him is not complicated and its easier for both of us,and that our family won't be hurt by what we did.I told her that she can still choose to be with me even if its hard,and even if we don't have a baby.But right now she is saying if she is not pregnant that she will probably just stay with her boyfriend since she thinks its the best decision for both of us.So now just have to wait again to see what happens for us next month.

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Another update.

Its been a while since i posted in this thread,Ive been very busy with everything going on in my life now.My cousin and I are expecting now.Our baby is due this august.Also CM you were right the second time she did become pregnant. I'm here back in the states now,I'm working sending money also back to her.We are always txting on ym while I'm away.I'm going back in late April or may before the baby is due.Its the soonest i can go back.I'm very excited to see our baby soon,also want to go back as soon as i can to take care of her.But she understands also that i have to stay here and work for us.So thats what is going on in my life now.Its very hard and taxing on my mind and body,with all the thinking i'm doing about the future.We haven't told our parents or family yet.I know that they will be more accepting of us because we are going to have a baby now and choose to be together.But even still she has doubts if she wants to tell yet.She wants to keep it a secret first,since she says its going to hurt our family and they won't understand.So we are still talking about that.

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Guest 4bdenluv795

I don't want to sound cynical or anything, but I was just wondering.. how would you know it's really your baby if she is still with her boyfriend?  Nonetheless, CONGRATULATIONS!! Good Luck with the family revelation, got my fingers crossed!

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^^shes not with her bf anymore,and really hasn't been with him for a very long time.They were bf and gf but they didn't really spend a lot of time together.We are Bf and Gf now,and i know its my baby, no question about it.

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Guest 4bdenluv795

Well then CONGRATULATIONS again!  :ok: Have you told the family yet?  Really interested on how they will react.  If it were not too late for me / for us, I would have told my family but we have no chance in hell anymore...  :(  However, I really don't wanna take this secret to my grave.. hmmm...

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Everything is going good still,we just talk on YM or txt and i call her using voip damn .20cents a min.We are planning a trip down to batangas by the beach for like a late honeymoon together :-)

I really miss her so much especially now since i want to take care of when she is pregnant.And of course she misses me,but when i'm back in the philippines we will be living together.

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Guest cloud

wow...the best love story I have ever ever heard, u truly are a one of a kind dedicated man to his woman, u are an inspiration, u never gave up, and look at u now, your baby is on the way, and u have a lady u have been truly happy with for such an extended amount of time, I'm never EVERRRRRRRR givin up on my cousin love either

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wow...the best love story I have ever ever heard, u truly are a one of a kind dedicated man to his woman, u are an inspiration, u never gave up, and look at u now, your baby is on the way, and u have a lady u have been truly happy with for such an extended amount of time, I'm never EVERRRRRRRR givin up on my cousin love either

Yes I'm truly dedicated to her,i know i will always be.Everything i do is to make her happy and give her a good life together.About the giving up part,i know i would always have feelings for her even if we didn't end up together,but i was prepared to just be friends,and still always be there for her.Me and her would have been very very close even if we didn't become a couple.We are like best-friends.She is a very important part of my life even if we didn't end up having a relationship.All i can do now is always try to make her happy and hope she is content with out relationship and our life together now.But now we are looking towards our first baby being born :-)

Honestly i never thought any of this would even happen in the first place.Because cousin relationships in the Philippines is a big no no,and i was very sure even though she said she loved me in a way you should really love someone compared to her bf.I never thought she would choose me,i was expecting her to just choose her bf and not me.I was almost so sure she would choose him.I know a part of her wanted to choose him over me.I told her i can't offer her a easy life with me,we both know its going to be very very hard,also i'm not rich,the only thing i can offer her is that i will love her and only her.

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Guest jmq

Hi there. I'm from Philippines too.. I've read all your post from the beginning and all i can say is: "wow!". you're really in-love with her and had been so tough that that you didn't give up with her. :ok:  it is so nice to read stories like this. I'm also on the same boat as yours. I'm 28 and my cousin (2nd cousin) is only 22. I just got separated from my husband then (few months back), I went to my home town which I've missed for 14 years. Then I saw him for the first time. It's love-at-first-sight i guess. I really like him from the first time i saw him and I am secretly hoping that we're not cousins until they introduced him to me as one. He calls me "ate" (big sister) at first  :girl_haha: We get along well, and before I go back to Manila, I told him that anytime that he wanted to go and find a job in the city he could always stay at my house. To cut the story short, we exchange numbers, text each other, confide our feelings with each other and now, we're almost two months together. But its a big secret from the family. Once they've found out, we'e both dead. So we're keeping it to just ourselves. I'm so glad to find this website so i could share my feelings with others and to open up too :)

I wanted to know more of your story, of what's gonna happen next.. and also excited about your coming baby  :smiley:  We've been talking about having a baby too, but we're so afraid that the blood conflict would have an effect somehow...

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Hi there. I'm from Philippines too.. I've read all your post from the beginning and all i can say is: "wow!". you're really in-love with her and had been so tough that that you didn't give up with her. :ok:  it is so nice to read stories like this. I'm also on the same boat as yours. I'm 28 and my cousin (2nd cousin) is only 22. I just got separated from my husband then (few months back), I went to my home town which I've missed for 14 years. Then I saw him for the first time. It's love-at-first-sight i guess. I really like him from the first time i saw him and I am secretly hoping that we're not cousins until they introduced him to me as one. He calls me "ate" (big sister) at first  :girl_haha: We get along well, and before I go back to Manila, I told him that anytime that he wanted to go and find a job in the city he could always stay at my house. To cut the story short, we exchange numbers, text each other, confide our feelings with each other and now, we're almost two months together. But its a big secret from the family. Once they've found out, we'e both dead. So we're keeping it to just ourselves. I'm so glad to find this website so i could share my feelings with others and to open up too :)

I wanted to know more of your story, of what's gonna happen next.. and also excited about your coming baby  :smiley:  We've been talking about having a baby too, but we're so afraid that the blood conflict would have an effect somehow...

i will keep updating this thread every now and then with new info about me and her and our baby.We are first cousins and we are having a baby.You two are second cousins,as long as you don't have a family history of illness i think you shouldn't worry about anything wrong happening to your baby.Same, me and her still disagree on the family knowing.I wish it wasn't like this in the philippines.

I'm going to be there for 5 months,so we will be living together all that time.I know we will grow even closer than ever :-) . oo i'm really in love with her and i know how much we both love each other :-) . But even with this love it is still hard when we talk about our family.I hope she knows every secret comes out sooner or later.

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Guest jmq

Oh well, your right...sooner or later every secret comes out..  We're so afraid of the families knowing what's the real score between us too, but as long as we got each other, we're hoping we'll work out fine. We're not rushing things up now, we're thinking that if we'll stay together longer then maybe they'll accept the relationship somehow.

Keep posting :)

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Oh well, your right...sooner or later every secret comes out..  We're so afraid of the families knowing what's the real score between us too, but as long as we got each other, we're hoping we'll work out fine. We're not rushing things up now, we're thinking that if we'll stay together longer then maybe they'll accept the relationship somehow.

Keep posting :)

And i forgot to mention,since me and my cousin are first cousins we can't get marry legally in the Philippines,we can get married in a church if we get dispensation,which would allow us to marry.Its means more to me to get married at least under God which is higher than just some law that prevents me from getting legally married to my cousin. You two are second cousins so you two can actually get married under law and get all benefits if someday in the future you two want to get married.So if your family says you can't get married look at Mikey Arroyo(the President's son,for those who are not Filipino) he married his second cousin.Wish you all the best.

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Guest jmq

Yah, but you're in the US right? And in some states there they allow 1st cousins to get marry. Maybe you could just get her there and you two could be married. Well, my cousin is 7 years younger than me, jobless, and still so young, and i was previously married with one child and I'm still working on my annulment right now.  Yah, Mikey Arroyo married his second cousin, but our relatives are not very open with such relationships. Our aunts are starting to suspect that we are looking each other more than what we should be, and that made us cool the relationship down for almost a month but deep inside, we know that we love each other. I know I would never love anyone more than this in my whole life, even if we don't end up together.... 

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