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ippoInPI

Cousin in the philippines,my story so far

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Guest cloud

do u live by yourself, do u think she would move in with u after your divorce, why let family separate true love

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Guest jmq

i got my own house but my mom is living with me... he like to move with me, and me too, but that's quite impossible right now. my mom is already suspecting that there's something between us. and she's so mad with the idea...well, it's more difficult here in the philippines because the family always has a "say" on what should be going on with daughter's or son's life :(

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Guest cloud

what if u go against her wishes, and he moves in with u anyway, what are any possible consequences, does your mom support u in any way

...hope she won't do anything rash in the after hours of the night...I'd keep doors/windows locked

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Guest jmq

if i let him move with me, mother will be very mad, it's like i disobeyed her and i'm the most bad daughter in the whole wide world  :cry: and his parents will be mad too...we couldn't let that happen, well, at least for now... will just wait for the right time until they get to understand us and eventually made them believe that we really love each other...

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Guest jmq

don't really know... right now, we're being pressured on how to hide our relationship.. we barely talk because everyone's eyes are already on us..we're planning of running away just to live to together but we got families to deal with..it's really difficult.. i hadn't seen for almost 2 months now and i'm missing him so much :(

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Guest cloud

yep u may have to do that or tell your mom to suck it up and deal with it

are u in an indian culture, I know that the indians take extraordinary pride in what their parents want from them, and usually respect whatever they ask at the price of their own happiness and well-being, that's how their culture is

...haven't seen my own cousin love in 6 months...it's been tough but I'm hangin in there, just doing me right now

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jmq, seeing that you're from the Phillipines, are you Christian or Muslim? I'm just asking because that's what most of the population is made up of. I could be wrong.

Just wondering.

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Guest cloud

o yea phillipines, they take exceptional pride in what their family wants too based on the stories I've read on here

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Guest jmq

Hi Arainion... I'm Catholic... Actually, we could really marry legally and even in church. I don't know why the oldies are dealing with like it's such a huge crime :(

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Guest jmq

Yap! We're 2nd cousins and in the Philippines it's like 6th degree of consanguinity already, and therefore allowed to be married (1st cousins are not). But older folks are being difficult with that. They simply couldn't take it. BTW, our fathers are cousins so we share the same surname.... 

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Guest cloud

older folks want it to be further down

after your divorce, would u get married with him or would the family's mind-set still restrain that action

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Guest jmq

i would love to be married with him.. but right now, he's changing his mind about me.. he's not communicating and always out of reach  :(

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Guest cloud

when both people are not reciprocating, that's bad news for them, if he doesn't want to do it, u have to let go but hope he may change his mind again, why not just be friends

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Guest jmq

He's always telling me that he loves me and that he will never feel that way to anybody else, but the pressure on the family thing is quite heavy for him and so with me. My mom was suspecting that we are already having a relationship and I'm thinking that she talked to him but they're both denying it.  I don't know, i couldn't even think of him in the arms of someone else and we'll just be friends? Maybe I'll better be not seeing him...

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Guest cloud

same for me, I keep telling myself I want my cousin love to be happy whether she's with me or not, and that her man better treat her as good as I did, if not better...but still the amount of jealousy that would seep through my veins if I ever see her with someone else as a couple...even a pic would grind my gears immensely

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Guest jmq

Yup, that would truly hurt  :cry: Now, he's been avoiding my calls and ignoring my messages. I'm planning to go see him this end of the month, it will also be his birthday. I hope we could talk, whatever happens I hope it will be the best for both of us.

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Guest cloud

face-to-face is usually the best approach, you must be itching to find out what's been going on with him and what's going on in his mind which would push him to ignore your pleas for communication

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Guest anonymous (female)

we have the same situation.. but i do fel in love with my second cousin.. so i dont know if it is still prohibited here in the Philippines.. then we tried to open up our feelings to my own parents, expecting that they would help and understand us... but no... they wanted us to break our relationship, coz they dont want me to have my second cousin as my bf and marry him soon... they just telling us the same and the same word "bawal".. without explaning it to us why?... then now, we just realize that we shouldnt  ask the permission of my parents, we should just inform them about us.. about our relationship... if you do feel you really love your cousin and you can fight for her whatever happens, then go for it... its your own life, everybody has their own decision and rights... dont wait for any regrets.. :)

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Guest cloud

you can tell your parents that 2nd cousins are as related to us as ANY person in the world, and that's it legal EVERYWHERE!!! so that outta put a cork in their close-minded opinion mouths

too bad 1st cousin lovers have a bit more of a rough time being fully accepted

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