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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Christina

Having children

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Guest Christina   
Guest Christina

I have a question that I can't seem to find any answers to online. 

I am married to a man who isn't my cousin.  My parents are first cousins (I figured this out on my own and my cousin confirmed my suspicions of this when I was a lot younger). Since reading this site and other sites, I'm not too concerned about It. My parents have not told my sister and I this and avoid the topic of how they met. 

I am currently 13 weeks pregnant. I was very scared to tell my husband about my parents because I feared he would leave me. I was newly pregnant when I finally told him. He has been mad at me since and is also disgusted at my family. He says he's not excited about having a baby because something could be wrong with it.  

What are the chances that something could be wrong with our baby? My sister and I are fine. I can't seem to find any information online and our doctor told us if nothing was wrong with me, our baby would be ok but my husband is not convinced and is being quite mean to me over this. 

What should I/we do? 

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KC    48

Remind your husband that over 80% of marriages historically have been between cousins (1st or 1c1r). In many places still today it is a preference to marry a cousin, after all, why would one want to marry a stranger (as their way of thinking goes).

For 1st cousins, the risk of birth defects are equal to a prego woman in her 30's? Or is it 40? The INCREASED risk is 1.7 to 2.3 percent. You can double check on the info pages. Since you personally did not marry a cousin, your increased risk is almost nothing. The truth is that you could have a greater chance of birth defects by random pairing / marrying someone else.

It is indeed a numbers game. Like a shuffled deck of cards or watching the lotto balls roll down the slot. In other words, nobody can give your a precise answer, only stats. Since you are already pregnant, it is a little late to even worry yourself for one second. Stress can only be a negative factor in your baby's development.

I predict that there is nothing at all wrong with your baby. He will be above average and bring great joy to your family. You husband is being an ignorant little man for the time being. It will all pass.

 

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Guest Christina   
Guest Christina
24 minutes ago, KC said:

Remind your husband that over 80% of marriages historically have been between cousins (1st or 1c1r). In many places still today it is a preference to marry a cousin, after all, why would one want to marry a stranger (as their way of thinking goes).

For 1st cousins, the risk of birth defects are equal to a prego woman in her 30's? Or is it 40? The INCREASED risk is 1.7 to 2.3 percent. You can double check on the info pages. Since you personally did not marry a cousin, your increased risk is almost nothing. The truth is that you could have a greater chance of birth defects by random pairing / marrying someone else.

It is indeed a numbers game. Like a shuffled deck of cards or watching the lotto balls roll down the slot. In other words, nobody can give your a precise answer, only stats. Since you are already pregnant, it is a little late to even worry yourself for one second. Stress can only be a negative factor in your baby's development.

I predict that there is nothing at all wrong with your baby. He will be above average and bring great joy to your family. You husband is being an ignorant little man for the time being. It will all pass.

 

Thanks for your reply. I will pass it along as well as another page on this site to show him that the risks are low. He has said some horrible things to me and while I understand that this can come off as a shock to people, I explained to him that I didn't choose to be born by cousins (whether it's right or wrong.. I'm not judging them. After all, they are still my parents!) he says this is all my fault because I didn't tell him this before we got pregnant. I figured it wasn't a big deal because it's legal in canada.. so it can't be that bad!! 

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LadyC    98

Is your husband always this emotionally abusive?

If you still have any concerns, or if he does, you might consider seeing a genetic counselor. It should be covered by your insurance. A genetic counselor can we go through the family history and determine if there's any red flags to be concerned about.

 

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