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In love with my second cousin in foreign country

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I am of Danish origin. But I have persian ancestors and so relatives in Iran. 

I decided 3 months ago to move to Iran for 2 years.

I have never had so much fun ever in my life. This country is amazing!!! Beautiful streets, streets light and gorgeous buildings embracing these beautiful streets of Iran. Denmark has never seemed so boring as it does after seeing Iran. And nothing feels better than being embraced by my enormous family. 

I have always felt it was incestuous to marry blood relatives. So I can't believe I'm falling in love with my second cousin. And he in me. I should be disgusted by the thought of it??!

Here's the thing: Our attraction is so strong that we couldn't keep our hands away from each other.  So we had sex. freaking amazingporn-like sex! And that in this crazy ISLAMIC COUNTRY, so dangerous and illegal! gosh the fact he is my cousin and it's illegal and dangerous just attracts me MORE!! MUCH MORE!! what is wrong with me??? even the alcohol here tastes better because it's illegal!! 

He is so attractive and masculine.. his height and gym builded body and I am too, with my light blue danish eyes and long black persian hair.... we look so great together. And to be disgusting, we have the exactly same nose!! Mine is just smaller. 

But what worries me is that I might be pregnant. That would bring my family blood on they're  hands, if it will be revealed to them that he touched me without marriage. 

And I don't know how close related we are, because his parents are also first cousins to each other and both his parents are first cousins to my mother. His father's mother, his mother's mother and my mother's mother(3) are sisters! So he is definitely closer than "just a second cousin" 

abortion is illegal here.And he won't let me go back to Denmark to abort. He doesnt know I might be pregnant but we talked about this. And i'm kind of glad I might be carrying his baby, but that's just my hormones mindkissy-faceing me. My period is 3 weeks late and I out of nowhere vomit sometimes. Good lord this is insane!!!

How close are we? Is there any danish people here, cause I know we danish people despise inbreeding! is this also considered to be inbreeding? 

I was having a blast until now! 



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to my knowledge, 2nd cousins can legally marry ANYwhere. including iran and denmark. why not get married? we have a lot of information here on how it's viewed by world religions, and on genetics information, laws, and whatnot. 

as for how close you are, genetically speaking you share no more DNA in common than two unrelated people. so your risk for having a child with birth defects is the same as any other couple.

and please, don't even consider abortion.. that's your CHILD! it's not a clump of cells, it's a beautiful, living baby that you created with this guy. go get married. raise your child together. but recognize now that marriage is not a bed of roses. it's a series of struggles. it's not always going to be all amazing-porn-like-sex and fun. and i suspect that with the intensity of your emotions right now, the two of you will have a lot of very intense disagreements and fights as well. recognize that going in and make a commitment to each other to WORK HARD at making your marriage work.

or choose to remain single and raise the baby yourself...

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Thanks for replying :)

are you sure we don't share more DNA? 

both his parents are my first cousins once removed. I mean, he is my second cousin from both his mother's and father's side. Double-second cousin?? :blink: and to make it worse, his grandparents are also first cousins. So my family is totally inbreeded ??

So I'm related to him in more than one way. He is 100 % a product of my mothers blood. Can't believe we don't share more DNA. 


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so actually, if his parents are your first cousins once removed, he'd be your first cousin twice removed. doubled. so right now my brain is not engaged enough to do the math to be certain, but i believe that's the equivalent DNA of about a first cousin once removed. the fact that his grandparents are first cousins really doesn't factor into the equation. your odds of having a perfectly normal, healthy child are still on the upper side of 94%. 

of course, bear in mind that our stats that we quote here when it comes to genetic risks refer primarily to autosomal recessive conditions... because those are the only conditions that result from a couple being related. and those are also the least common of all kinds of defects. there are a whole host of genetic issues which can occur in the random population that have nothing to do with degree of relatedness. 

i think you're way over-thinking this. but if you have more concerns, definitely take the time to see a genetic counselor. they'll want to have a detailed history of any family medical conditions... if there are any genetic issues that have been handed down throughout the generations, they'll want to know that. and they they'll want to do tests to determine if you both carry the gene for it. because the only way to pass down an autosomal recessive condition is if BOTH parents carry a defective gene for it.

i don't know about in your country, but here in america genetic counseling is covered by insurance. 

you should also familiarize yourself with the two pages of genetic info. you can access page 1 on the menu link under info pages. page 2 can be accessed at the bottom of page 1. it should ease your mind considerably. :)

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