Jump to content
ibrahim

My cousin doesn't wanted to marry me

Recommended Posts

Aaaa!

It starts when I was in 7th grade in 2007 or 8. I start liking her since then but I wasn't knew anything my father was in the army so we didn't have sources to be in contact.

Her mother died when she 3 years old and her father also leave this world in 2016. So she is very sensitive but actually opposite to that. 

last year her aunt wanted her to marry her son he is almost 10 years elder than her. But she refused by saying he is my brother and I don't wanna marry him. By this, I felt I am losing something I told her my feelings that I loved her. I am working in UAE we do text each other every day mostly I do if I will not be then she will be surely texting. The same story is with me she said that she doesn't wanna marry me coz I'm her cousin brother I am a Muslim so in Islam it's allowed to marry the cousin. She is very hard heart kinda girl I mean no kindness even though if I will be telling her about my feeling or anything like this she will be usually saying hmmmmmmmmmm. ok. It makes me angry coz she doesn't have any feelings even after knowing my feelings and her attitude he still texts me talk to me but usually won't pick up the call.

I've tried so hard since last year but nothing happens to her. The worst part is these things are affecting my daily life my friends are complaining about the change of nature in me I don't talk much doesn't smilies it affects so badly even I will be telling her anything about this she will not be understanding IDK why. She mostly takes my talk as a joke and I always keep her into the conversation and she also ready to leave.

I really tried to forget her but 24 hours a day she stays in my mind.

 

Help me to have her.

Thanks 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's kind of hard to tell much about your situation from your message. How old are you? What country are you in? If your cousin is hard-hearted, why do you want to marry her?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i suspect you're not going to appreciate what i'm about to say, but what you are describing isn't the kind of love that would last long term anyway. it's unrequited love that has NO solid foundation. it doesn't even sound like you two ever had a solid friendship, although i realize your short message could be leaving out a lot of detail. but in any case, she doesn't feel the same towards you.

the fact that you love her to distraction, and that it is affecting your relationships with other people, indicate that this is something called infatuation.  it's a normal feeling, but you're fixating on her, and it's not a healthy one, and it's not going to go anywhere good. 

like it or not, you need to let it go and move on. accept her as a friend/relative and be supportive of her in whatever path her life takes. choose to be happy for her when she does find someone to love. but make up your mind now that YOU are not going to be that someone, and stop obsessing.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 hours ago, MissPrice said:

It's kind of hard to tell much about your situation from your message. How old are you? What country are you in? If your cousin is hard-hearted, why do you want to marry her?

 

I am about 22 and she is 20. I am from Azad Kashmir Google it maybe you don't know.

The Past she has is difficult maybe that makes her like hard-hearted and that's the reason and the attitude she has.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, LadyC said:

i suspect you're not going to appreciate what i'm about to say, but what you are describing isn't the kind of love that would last long term anyway. it's unrequited love that has NO solid foundation. it doesn't even sound like you two ever had a solid friendship, although i realize your short message could be leaving out a lot of detail. but in any case, she doesn't feel the same towards you.

the fact that you love her to distraction, and that it is affecting your relationships with other people, indicate that this is something called infatuation.  it's a normal feeling, but you're fixating on her, and it's not a healthy one, and it's not going to go anywhere good. 

like it or not, you need to let it go and move on. accept her as a friend/relative and be supportive of her in whatever path her life takes. choose to be happy for her when she does find someone to love. but make up your mind now that YOU are not going to be that someone, and stop obsessing.

3

Thanks for your Answer though I was expecting such words.

 

what do you think 9 years are nothing "infatuation".

other's things you indicate I personally tried every day not to think like that be cool charming wanted to forget what happened but whenever she came to my mind things again blown away.

anger ness

some BP high issues, Although I am a super fit person

misbehaving with everyone and blah blah blah

 If have to leave then it's not possible completely coz i have to meet her on every vacation. coz her house is near mine.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, ibrahim said:

The Past she has is difficult maybe that makes her like hard-hearted and that's the reason and the attitude she has.

I wasn't asking why she was hard-hearted though, I was asking why you would want to marry her, if you see her as hard-hearted. Personally, I wouldn't want to be with someone who wasn't warm and affectionate.

On 3/7/2017 at 7:57 AM, ibrahim said:

it makes me angry coz she doesn't have any feelings even after knowing my feelings

No one ever owes anyone else love. You can't make your cousin feel anything for you, and your feelings don't oblige her to reciprocate. You can only offer her what you have, and then let her accept or reject you as she chooses. That's what love is: opening yourself up, and giving without the expectation of receiving.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

what do you think 9 years are nothing "infatuation".

sorry. i was trying to be uncharacteristically nice and not call it the way i see it.

nine years of feeling like this over someone who doesn't feel the same, and getting all worked up, angry, and raising your blood pressure is nothing short of OBSESSION. 

it's still not healthy. in fact, it's downright scary. especially for her. you need therapy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Similar Content

    • By Spider-T0mm45
      I just wanna let u know I’m 20 and my cousin she’s 25! I know this is going to sound like a very crazy story and looking at the ages I know. Me and my cousin love to mess with each other it’s our thing! As time went I had feelings for her and couldn’t get her out of my mind! We are very very close, she told me about her ex and I was there for her and I told her about my ex and she did the same for me! I know I can’t be with her, which makes me very sad! All I want is to kiss her on the lips or to have sex with her! She’s very beautiful and has a gorgeous body! I just wanna kiss her one time or have sex with her one time so my feelings for her can finally go away! Any advice in how to get her to wanna to that with me? I mean we do flirt with each other sometimes when we joke around with each other like normal couples would do! Btw we are Islam so it’s ok to be with your cousin and stuff! And also she gives amazing advice for me because she is still in college and has a lot of work and she always tells me and she freaks about her test and has the freak out problems and I always calm her down let her know she’s the smartest person I know and she can do it! Please I need help she’s so beautiful and can’t get her out of my mind! If we can’t have sex or kiss, is it possible we can just touch eachother? Thanks.
    • By Grind544
      First I'll start with a little backstory...
      I'm 35, never married, no kids.  She's 33, never married 3 daughters ages 9-16.  We live in the same area, about a 15 min drive apart.  We've known each other our entire lives but never really got close growing up.  As kids we'd only see each other a few times a year on holidays and such.  We never really connected back then but we were always cool and had a mutual respect for one another.  We lost touch for a few years after highschool because she had good reason to separate herself from the family but we reconnected on social media when I was about 22 and that's when I started thinking of her romantically.  To this day I'm the only family member on her dad's side she speaks to.   Since then we've very slowly gotten to know each other more as people and friends.  It started on social media and text here and there and now I see her maybe 4-5 times a year and we message each other weekly.  We talk about what's going on in our lives, relationships a good bit and just normal friends/family chat.  There was a conversation recently that sticks out but I'll get to that later...  We both went through a hard break at about the same time last year and that really brought us closer together.  So, I'll start there.. 
       
      In May of last year we both went through our break ups.  We vented to each other via text and were just kind of there for one another for a while.  After that I didn't talk to her much for a couple months until October.  She invited me to the movies with her and her daughters and it was nice, we all had fun.  After that we started texting a lot more, daily infact, and I would flirt with her but never got a great response.  Although at one point she said she wanted to go on a "date" (her words) and we went out in early December.  We had dinner, drinks and saw a comedy show.  It was great!!  On the way home she started telling me what she wanted in a man, for her daughters and so on.  I told her that someday I hoped to find the same things and she started saying how someday she hopes to have a place big enough for me to come and visit all my cousins, have dinner and just be a part of their lives.  Then we both agreed that the bright side to our breakups that year was the opportunity to get to know each other more.  I took her home, she gave me a big hug and we called it a night.  We also planned to go out again when we could.
      A few weeks after that the texting slowed down untill February when she invited me to a happy hour.
      The happy hour was fun, I met a few of her friends, she joked that since it was a "new month" we were scheduled for a hang out and we even talked about another "just us" night out when spring came around.
      I haven't seen her since but when talking about relationships a few weeks ago she said something interesting.  I'm going to copy and paste the conversation below, I hope it's not too far out of context.
       
      Me: my ex told me I love to strongly
      Her: I do too! And im.to.honest and loyal and its a hard world for.us type of people to be in....But on the postive side i always think ull.never find anyone that can love u like i can i strongly believe that lol...and i like to.know im a good person thats the only thing that gives me.peace of.mind sometimes U have a great day to.
      Me: Right I don't think I'll ever find anyone that loves me the way I love them and it's a shame because it's a lot of great things going to waste in my opinion.it blows my mind that people don't understand honesty in the consequences of dishonesty.  over the years I've explained to honesty to my ex probably a million times she either doesn't understand it or doesn't care to be that type of person.  I'm starting to think that most people are 100% selfish and they will put down anyone they have to to get what they want in the moment. Cruel world
      Me again: Re read this message.  When you say - but on the positive side.. U think that for real?  Damn...  Love you too. I'll love ya better than anyone else too.   So thankful we've grown closer this past year.  ❤
       
      Her: No i said it right lol like if ur talkn to.ur.other half hahahah But im thankful we grown closer tooo
      Me: I am talking to my other half.  ❤. You are too.
      (She gave a thumbs up to that, end of conversation)
       
      Since then we've kept in touch on social media and text like always.  At one point I offered to stay single until she got a bigger place so a woman didn't get in our way. She said that wouldn't be nessasary because we're family and me being with someone wouldn't change that.  (Yes, I offered to wait for her, yes she turned that down)
      It's almost summer so I'll be asking her out again soon.
      She's moving into a bigger place in about 6 weeks from today.
      So I'm just here wondering if others think that she seems interested romantically.  Any advice on how to proceed with her in a more romantic way.  What's a good way to "test the water" a little more?
      I just want a healthy and happy relationship with her.  I'd prefer our relationship be romantic but she'd have to want that too.
       
      Thanks for reading, looking forward to any and all comments.
       
    • By Guest Of CC
      My first cousin crush was my 2nd crush.
      We did a staring contest and got too close, And made things awkward.
      I don't know how this happen but I get cousin crushes more often.
    • By Yankeeshakes4313
      I'm going to share and express my thoughts about cousin marriages... Stay tuned... Good subscribe to Sage Nation.... The episode will come in two weeks... I'm going to start my podcast again on Thursday March 15th.... Please subscribe and support my channel
    • By Casting Love is Love
      We are looking for cousin couples, kids of cousin couples, friends of cousin couples, 1/2 a cousin couple, etc. who are in the Los Angeles area to take part in the documentary Love is Love. Individuals will be compensated $50 (couples $100) for their time and interview. The shoot will be in Encino on Saturday, March 10 and interviewees will be asked to stay for a 30-45 minute interview.
      Love is Love is a project bringing cousin love to a positive light by way of stories, interviews, and statistics. These interviews will be heartfelt, meaningful and we can’t wait to bring these wonderful stories to life.
      The producer is a child of cousin love, and hopes to bring to light her Mom’s story, along with others, in hopes of challenging society’s view of cousin love. 
      Please contact us today if you, or someone you new would be a great fit to have their story documented: [email protected] 
×
×
  • Create New...