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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Roco12

We almost had sex

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Please help 

I'm 18 and my cousin is 23 . He has always been my favourite cousin and I was never quite sure why but we just had that bond I suppose . We often talked out sex just as a subject and he basically knows everything I have done and I know everything he has done .

3 weeks ago we were home alone because my aunt and uncle went out . Every thing was fine it wasn't our first time alone. He love tickling me and I love being tickled . I often massage his back but I have been doing it since I was a little girl . That night we were watching a movie in my room and we both fell asleep. I woke up when I felt his arm around me and it was on my thigh moving closer to my ----- . I turn around facing him and he pulled me closer and our head touched one thing lead to another and I was on top of him and it was a really good feeling I never had this before ... That warm fussy feeling . It went on for a while and he tried touching me but I pushed away because if it went further I know it would've caused a lot of trouble .

The next day he waked up went out of my room not saying anything and he is still avoiding me and I'm not sure what to do !

I can't stop thinking of that night and the touch of his lips I'm afraid this might of ruined our relationship 

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The way I see it, there are two important things right now: how you feel, and how he feels. My guess would be that neither of you are sure, because if that happened to me, I certainly wouldn't be. 

So, how do you feel? Do you want a romantic relationship with him, or do you just want things to go back to being what they were before? If you want a romantic relationship, you need to think about how that would go down with your family, and what that would mean. If you just want things to go back to what they were before, how are you going to get there? (Things probably can't be exactly what they were before, but from what you said, it sounds like you two are pretty close, so I doubt he's going to want no relationship with you).

How he feels isn't something you can know without talking to him about it, and that might not be the easiest thing in the world. I don't like to overgeneralize, but young men aren't always the best at talking about their feelings. He's probably avoiding you because he feels some combination of guilt/desire/regret/confusion/personal embarrassment, and doesn't have any idea what to do.

You can do nothing, and leave the ball in his court, or you can figure out your own feelings (at least to some extent) and try to talk to him about it. Personally, I'm a fan of taking charge of a situation, but that's something you have to decide for yourself. It could certainly help if you have someone you who knows you and that you trust who you could talk to about this, but I also understand that it's the sort of thing you don't necessarily want to tell anyone you know personally about.

Please feel free to message me directly if you'd like to talk off the forums, and best of luck to you!

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13 hours ago, MissPrice said:

The way I see it, there are two important things right now: how you feel, and how he feels. My guess would be that neither of you are sure, because if that happened to me, I certainly wouldn't be. 

So, how do you feel? Do you want a romantic relationship with him, or do you just want things to go back to being what they were before? If you want a romantic relationship, you need to think about how that would go down with your family, and what that would mean. If you just want things to go back to what they were before, how are you going to get there? (Things probably can't be exactly what they were before, but from what you said, it sounds like you two are pretty close, so I doubt he's going to want no relationship with you).

How he feels isn't something you can know without talking to him about it, and that might not be the easiest thing in the world. I don't like to overgeneralize, but young men aren't always the best at talking about their feelings. He's probably avoiding you because he feels some combination of guilt/desire/regret/confusion/personal embarrassment, and doesn't have any idea what to do.

You can do nothing, and leave the ball in his court, or you can figure out your own feelings (at least to some extent) and try to talk to him about it. Personally, I'm a fan of taking charge of a situation, but that's something you have to decide for yourself. It could certainly help if you have someone you who knows you and that you trust who you could talk to about this, but I also understand that it's the sort of thing you don't necessarily want to tell anyone you know personally about.

Please feel free to message me directly if you'd like to talk off the forums, and best of luck to you!

I want things to go back to the way it was but on the other hand I don't want to lose that feeling he gave me . He gives me that feeling like I want more and I know it's wrong but I have never felt this urge to be with someone ... I tried talking to him and he said he is sorry and he was avoiding me because he feel's guilty and he doesn't know how it happened . What do I do from here .

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As someone who is about to marry her cousin, I don't think that romantic relationships between cousins are wrong. You need to decide what you want, and go from there.

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Hi Roco:

 

You have taken a new turn in your relationship with your cousin.  It sounds to me like you've always been close but now things have gotten a bit complicated for you.  Trust me, I feel you...I am having a quite similar situation with my beloved cousin and we have crossed that line.  Neither one of us is quite sure what to do with it...I am in no way qualified to tell you what you should do, but I do think that you both are entitled to your feelings toward each other whatever they may be, and to give it a chance if you decide a romantic relationship is what you want.  I agree with miss Price above in what she says about you two deciding what you want.  The trick is to be open and honest with each other as I am doing with mine:  I have never been dishonest in my feelings for him, I have told him as much, and I think that is the best way to go.  My best goes out to you, and let us know how it turns out!!!

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Guest SaraHGirl97

Let us know what happened? I am in similar situation with one of my peeps so your sharing would be comforting.

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