Me and my first cousin

[Guest Not Kissing Cousins]

I think my one of my first cousin's has feeling's for me. I have liked him since we were little. He is six years older than me.Twenty-Five Years ago our families were at a family gathering,when we were all about to leave to go home I asked my male cousins if I could have a hug goodbye. My oldest cousin who first hugged me didn't want to stop hugging me so I could hug my other male cousins. Fast forward eight years to when we were at another family gathering. My oldest cousin was there with his girlfriend and their baby,but he looked really pissed off. I told him when he was alone that I was there for him if he ever needed to talk with someone. I left him alone outside,and I went inside and started watching tv. He came into the doorway of the room I was in and asked me if I wanted to go to the store with him. I said sure so we went outside to get in his car . His Dad,Mom,his girlfriend and their baby came to the door,his Dad shouted that if he took off and went to the store that he would no longer be a part of the family. I thought it was because my cousin had been drinking,but I am not sure if that is why his Dad yelled at my cousin. So we went back inside,and awhile later our Uncle told my cousin if he wanted to go to the store he would take us. We got in my Uncle's car,and when we were driving there our Uncle,and my cousin were talking while I sat behind my uncle in the back seat so I could see my cousin's face and any movement he made. My Uncle asked my cousin "have you talked to her yet,and told her ?" my cousin told our uncle no his Dad yelled at him to get back in the house so he never got to say anything so he didn't want to talk about it right now,and my Uncle looked back at me. Fast forward eight more years at another family gathering,my cousin saw me with my boyfriend,and my cousin looked very pissed off. My boyfriend went in the house,and my cousin didn't looked pissed off anymore then my cousin hugged me. We went inside my cousin 's girlfriend was there,and she looked pissed off to see me,and when I told her how long my boyfriend had been together,she told me how long her and my cousin have been together,and she said it is like they are married. Fast forward to eight more years, I posted a music video on facebook that is about missing someone you love,and how long must I wait to be with the person I love. My cousin posted the comment ikr (I know right ?) A few days later we had another family gathering,and when I saw my cousin he hugged me for around three minutes,he has never hugged me that tight or fot THAT long before. When he walked away he squeezed my shoulder three times all at once (Maybe three times for " I Love You " ) My son was saying how his girl cousin was pretty,and my cousin's girlfriend( with my cousin standing right by her) told me what my son said,and she asked me if I I thought that cousin's should be able to date, she said she didn't think so ,so I just agreed with my cousin's girlfriend,and rolled my eyes at my cousin hoping he knew that I didn't really agree with her but he went in the house,and when I told someone that he and his girlfriend were not married he turned around really fast looked me in the eye,and said they are married she just refuses to take his last name,but to this day they are NOT married yet. So tell me does he have relationship feelings for me ? It is eating me up not knowing. Thank You.

[HappyGratefully 3]

Don't marry your boyfriend or anyone else unless you love him. You can't tell your cousin not to marry his girlfriend but you can tell him how you feel about him. I don't know if he has relationship feelings for you, the only way to know is to ask him straight. One thing is for sure though, if you aren't prepared to talk about it with him then you'll never know. If you won't talk to him about it there is no point thinking about whether he has relationship feelings for you.

[NotKissingCousins 0]

My cousin is supposed to be calling me after sometime after 2 pm, but I don't know how to ask him if he is interested in me romantically. At the last family get together when he girlfriend said cousins can't be in a relationship or married and I agreed with her by saying uh huh a few times,and my cousin's mouth was open like he was in shock. This was 2 weeks after I posted the music video that is about missing someone,and how long till I can be with you. My cousin posted i.k.r. ( aka = I know right ) and I said right. Then at the family get together when him and his girlfriend first got there and she WASN'T around he hugged me tighter than he has EVER HUGGED ME and FOR LONGER than he has EVER hugged me. He hugged me before his girlfriend ever spoke to me,and asked me those questions with the answers that I think hurt him. I talked to our Aunt who told me that seven months ago my cousin and his girlfriend FINALLY got married after twenty years of being together. My Aunt doesn't understand why HE waited SOOOO LONG to marry HER. I think I know why.

[NotKissingCousins 0]

Does anybody have any thought on how I can talk with him ?

[Scorpion Queen 1]

If your cousin is married then he is off limits to you. You shouldn't go asking him if he has romantic feelings for you.

[Serendipity 100]

SQ is right on the money - he is married and is off limits.  I'm not really sure why you would want him anyway.  He told you sometime ago that he was married when he was not?  That is strange, in my humble opinion.

You have been toying with this attraction for more than 25 years?  I understand a bit of where that comes from since it took more than 30 for my cousin and I to embark on a relationship - but there was never any doubt that we were attracted to each other - we were simply damn fools for thinking it could never be between us.  Rather, I was the damn fool....

And if you don't agree with a statement, you should never say that you do. 

when he girlfriend said cousins can't be in a relationship or married and I agreed with her by saying uh huh a few times,

It's time to sweep this one under the rug as a potentially missed opportunity.  He is married now and there is nothing you should say or do to encourage a romance between the two of you. 

[gryan 0]

Eh, are you guys reading the parts where she makes it pretty clear that her cousin is showing some signs of possibly being attracted to her, despite being married?

I would suggest approaching him in person and maybe asking what's up with some of his behavior...if you are afraid that perhaps you might be misunderstanding his behavior, then you should just not say you have romantic feelings for him unless he admits that the reason he was acting the way he was acting was because he has romantic feelings for you. Right now it just seems like he is showing all these signs, but you haven't really attempted to find out what they meant.

[Romalee 61]

UH yes I read that part!

Still stands that if he is married neither one of them has any business

developing a romantic relationship with each other. Even if he is not married he

has a long time gf and that needs to be addressed in the same manner. Deal with the

relationships at hand before causing any more problems.

Approaching him for answers might not be in the best interest.

[NotKissingCousins 0]

I am Not Kissing Cousins. My Cousin called me to talk to me when I was about to leave so I asked him to call me back after 2 pm,and my oldest Son answered the phone when my Cousin called because I wasn't home at the time. My Cousin asked him to have me call him back ,but I don't know if I should because I am afraid that his wife will pick up. I know he is married now so nothing can happen between us. I have questions though to find out what things meant so I can have closure because this is ruining my life not knowing why he has said or did things over the years. Please give me thorough advice so I can get over him romantically. Please don't say just get over him, because I MUST have these questions answered to get over him. Thank You Very Much !

[gotitGOOD! 0]

He's married, move on.Just Cuz!

[Guest Lee]

Good evening or Good day I honestly need your help and some advice on a serious matter well the thing is me and my first cousin is very much in love with echother we've been intimate a couple of times and we share very intimate conversations spending time with her is always the best times I've ever spend with anybody else I try to stop this a couple of times but it doesn't seem to work every time we get together it happens again and I see this amazing woman in her again please help me put a stop to this before we loose what we have as cousin.. She jokes about getting married but I can see she very serious about it I love her I do but I know our family wouldn't accept it never ever

[Guest 9n]

Guest Lee,  Why put a stop to it?  Sounds like you would be great together.  Your happiness is important and aside from the family judgment I don't see any negativity in the situation.  What if you developed a plan and got a place together (your family wouldn't have to know it was more than roommates). Then you would have the time to enjoy with her, have a relationship, and when you're ready to marry the rest will fall into place.  Unless you are ready to marry her now and the only thing stopping you is judgment and a fear of not being just cousins anymore.  Either way fear isn't a reason to walk away from love like this.  I know because I have wanted to marry my cousin for 10 years.  I love him dearly.

[LadyC 229]

why have we suddenly got a couple of guests coming in and bumping up a thread that has been dead for three years? that's typically something only trolls do.

guest lee, you don't bother to give us any useful info, like ages, or where you live or what culture you're from. but i can say this much. it is my personal opinion that if a person doesn't know how to separate their sentences so that others can read it without taxing their brains over a massive run-on, then you're probably not mature enough to handle a relationship anyway.

[Guest 9n]

Lady c you are the only reason I have not signed up for this site as your post continue to be rude on the boarder of judgmental.  We are not all so lucky as to have our true love in marriage yet as you do.  Remember you may be an administrator but your opinions and comments are not the only ones that matter. Some have remained a "troll" as they are shy about coming out about their true love.  It has actually been my experience that run on sentences can happen if a person is nervous and typing for the first time about something very dear to their heart. If you are done with your putdowns and grammer lessons I for one would love to hear why guest Lee has to say. I thought everything he wrote was beautiful.  On the flip side of lady c....the man who posts the word shenanigans in his posts, I believe it is hawk, seems to be a down to earth he genuine person who I would like to reach out to in the future.  

[Guest 9n]

Oh my look at all the things I didn't edit ! I must be 12!!!

[KC 137]

This topic is three years old. It should be automatically locked. I will try to find out how to do that.

[LadyC 229]

17 hours ago, Guest 9n said:

Lady c you are the only reason I have not signed up for this site as your post continue to be rude on the boarder of judgmental.  We are not all so lucky as to have our true love in marriage yet as you do.  Remember you may be an administrator but your opinions and comments are not the only ones that matter. Some have remained a "troll" as they are shy about coming out about their true love.  It has actually been my experience that run on sentences can happen if a person is nervous and typing for the first time about something very dear to their heart. If you are done with your putdowns and grammer lessons I for one would love to hear why guest Lee has to say. I thought everything he wrote was beautiful.  On the flip side of lady c....the man who posts the word shenanigans in his posts, I believe it is hawk, seems to be a down to earth he genuine person who I would like to reach out to in the future.  

you won't join because of me, but you'll hover, read and post? that's rich. there is no excuse for not putting periods in to separate sentences. if one wants to be taken seriously in this world, one must learn to communicate.

 

[LadyC 229]

kc, i found it. i'll lock this thread, but all other threads that haven't been active in a year are now on auto-archive.