What an incredibly supportive and amazing group!
Please forgive my intrusion. My name is Beth and I'm a features writer with That's Life - a national magazine that tells real-life stories in Australia and New Zealand.
We share unique love stories in the first person and in a completely non-judgemental way. All of our interviewees receive full copy approval.
I'm posting as I'd love to find an Aussie or Kiwi couple who'd be willing to speak to me. I think that it's really important that we tackle the stigma associated with dating/marrying your cousin. It is, after all, completely legal!
The only way we can do that, though, is by people coming forward to share their stories, openly and candidly.
If you are interested, please drop me an email at *************@***********.com.au.
Thanks very much,
I am nervous to share my story but I need to now with people who understand.
My older first cousin (he is 38 and I am 33) who I was very good friends with for about 9 years before the below, asked me to take a trip with him 5.5 years ago. I had been looking after my Dad who was recovering from Cancer, so now that he was improving, I welcomed the break. My cousin lives and works in another State and always has.
My cousin was always very protective with me and I really liked our relationship. The first morning of the trip, he came on to me in bed and I was in complete shock. I loved him and thought that if he was doing this, it must be okay. Sounds naive, I know. The next day he did it again and we ended up being intimate. I was really confused and in shock I think. I still am, 5.5 years later.
This continued and we developed feelings for each other, however he initiated everything. He mentioned getting married and wanted us to have kids, etc. We went on another trip and he told me that he wanted to take a chance on us and to trust him. He said he’d never hurt me...
I trusted him and cared a lot about him. I knew he had a drinking problem but I was used to that as my Dad drank a lot. Not a good thing, I know. We continued our trips and love affair but his exes would always text him and I didn’t like it. I wanted to focus on the future, not the past. He said he couldn’t control it and it continued. I also saw a text conversation between him and a girl in his phone with “xoxo” but I didn’t know what it was and never said anything.
I always knew he was a “ladies man” but I thought it would be different as we were so close and cousins. I was always his rock and he always called me whenever anything important happened. He got mad at me on a trip because I spoke to his brother on the phone when he didn’t want me to. They never really got along well. He thought I might be pregnant this whole trip even though I said I wasn’t. We went to get a test and it was negative. He was very mad and slept on the couch and almost flew home early. He never would explain why he got so mad, but after that, everything blew up. He literally dropped me off at a hotel by myself to catch a flight back home the next day. I was crushed and very angry.
For the next 5 years, he would call and text constantly when he wanted and then disappear again. He was never there when I needed him. Not once. He was drinking and partying with women he meets online and had no time for me anymore. I still had feelings and he would act romantic with me and then disappear again and again.
In March of 2017, we saw each other for the last time and it was actually a nice trip. Things improved for a while after and then he got distant again and I figured there was someone else. At the end of the month, I had a pregnancy scare. He was psychotic over it and when I said I wasn’t and sent him a picture of the test, he was very angry. Then he disappeared again.
It turns out, in early April 2017, he slept with a woman he met online and a few months later, she told him she was pregnant. He was still calling me all this time and would call up to 50+ times if I didn’t answer.
The baby is now born and they aren’t together. It broke my heart that he impregnated someone right after we were together. He called me a couple weeks ago several times when the baby was born and was saying how awful the situation is for him and how sorry he was for hurting me. He was drunk of course.
I am now an emotional mess and isolate myself a lot as I am heart broken that my friend and cousin treated me like a disposable doll. I really did love him and it felt very right, which we both said.
He ended up telling his brother about us because his brother asked he said. I have only ever told one friend he is my cousin. My Mom once asked if we were dating but I just ignored it.
I have been having suicidal thoughts for a few years now and have been working with a therapist about it. I am now on antidepressants and have changed a lot. I feel that if he can do this to me, anyone can, so I am exhausted trying to heal.
Did I make a mistake other than being a naive young woman (28 when it began)? I think he was wrong to mislead me for sex all these years. I am his little cousin after all .
Thank you for reading this.
By Casting Love is Love
We are looking for cousin couples, kids of cousin couples, friends of cousin couples, 1/2 a cousin couple, etc. who are in the Los Angeles area to take part in the documentary Love is Love. Individuals will be compensated $50 (couples $100) for their time and interview. The shoot will be in Encino on Saturday, March 10 and interviewees will be asked to stay for a 30-45 minute interview.
Love is Love is a project bringing cousin love to a positive light by way of stories, interviews, and statistics. These interviews will be heartfelt, meaningful and we can’t wait to bring these wonderful stories to life.
The producer is a child of cousin love, and hopes to bring to light her Mom’s story, along with others, in hopes of challenging society’s view of cousin love.
Please contact us today if you, or someone you new would be a great fit to have their story documented: email@example.com
I have no idea how to do this so here goes
Ok let me start by saying me and my cousin actually grew up together ,I took care of her and I was her only friend when she was little ( we are a few years apart in age, but nothing to major ) ,we both were young and we never saw each other as anything els than family (except that we loved each other ,I would say more than we loved the other family members) (no we didnt do anything weird when we were kids and didnt have weird ideas, so dont get weird ideas)
I was there since she was born and like I said we grew up together, but when I turned 12 I started avoiding her (I did it bec I was young and starting to get well yea horny) so I had trouble controlling myself and bec of that I started avoiding her and also as I got older I avoided her more and more bec I had trouble controlling myself around her so I did not want to do something stupid bec I was just a young kid and yea young kids do stupid stuff (especially between the ages of 12 - 19) So I reckoned the best would be for me to completely stay away
We are both married today (not the best relationships bec both our partners are horrible to us even thou we love them) also her husband and my wife dont know each other at all
We had a talk not to long ago , she was feeling sad bec her husband is mean to her and the same on my end , so we both were pretty sad
So we talked and talked and I said some things to make her feel better and she said some stuff to make me feel better and we were pretty serious with what we said and we made each other feel a little better (again we simply gave each other complements and stuff so again nothing weird)
So as we talked more and more as the days went on she started asking questions so I was like screw it lets be honest
So I told her how I think she is beautiful and that I meant it and that I would give anything for a girl like her and she said the same thing to me
So as we spoke more and more we became more and more open (we are also both brutally honest people so when we say something we mean it) I had a dream (a very hot and erotic dream about the 2 of us) yea I told her she actually wanted to know more and more and in more detail so yea I told her in more detail, In the end I was like you yopu probably are mad now and she surprised me by saying well I will take your dream as a massive complement (just because its coming from you)
Ok we started flirting little by little , kinda joking but also serious, so then she asked me why I suddenly left her when we were young , i said be I went to high school (although I was home every weekend) and she said well she still doesn't understand why I left , so I was like ..... ok I will tell you but please dont hate me , lookk I love you and I didnt want to hurt you or do some stupid holy crapoly! , because I got very very pervy and horny when I turned 12 so bec I love you so much I had to leave bec I didnt wana do something dumb to you and mess up your mind or cause some emotional dammage,
She said: Well it would have been allot better than what happened to me when you werent there (she had a bad time bec she got lonely and depressed ect ect ect and also she got into a bad relationship and was a abused by some kissy-faceing piece of holy crapoly! guy who should burn in hell with his eyes eaten out by scorpions each day !!!) Sorry I get pissed when I think about what happened to her >:(
So I am feeling a bit angry at myself for not sticking around , anyway getting back to the story
I replied to what she said hey listen I was a bloody perv and I could not controle myself around you ?!?!!!!! do you understand what im saying ????
She: yes I understand perfectly and it still would have been better than what happened
Me: I love you ,can you imagine what would have happened ? you would have had me doing stuff to you ..... do you understand ??!! I was a perv
She: I dont care it still would be allot better than what happened ! , you love me right , you always took care of me when we were little right ? you never hurt me ever and you were always there when I needed you
She: well having you do things to me would have been allot better then having that piece of holy crapoly! abuse me
Me: im sorry I never nhew about it , if you simply said something I would have killed him just for touching you (the guy isnt in her life anymore)
Me: im still sorry but you would have hated me if I stayed
She : not really
Me: I was a perv .... I still am a little
She: well i wish you did stay bec I would have prefered you any day over him
She: also you know that dream you told me about 2 days ago, well I told you I liked it so what does that tell you about me ? if your a perv what does that make me for liking it ?
Me: well ........ ok haha
We continued flirting and our flirting has been getting a little hotter and we have been getting a little more and more honest with each other
We have also gotten more honest and we love each other (allot more than we should) , we have felt this for many years but we simply just started talking about this a few weeks ago, so yea .... bec all is out in the open now we are at that point if you put us in a room it wont be long till we go at it like rabbits
But we both are married (both in bad relationships)
We have seen each other naked and we like what we see, yea we exchanged pics
We are both very good looking (infact we are you would say hot) (im not saying that to brag , its a fact , no im not guna share our pics) (think young Roxette and a well built Brad Pitt)
Problem is we love each other more than we should and pretty soon we will see each other (like I said we are guna be at it like rabbits) no we arent planning to be but its guna happen lets be honest
Again we are both married but we also want each other we are closely related , we are both adults ,I love her with all my heart, what should I do ?!?!?!?
Im unsure what to do, I want opinions and advice (please be honest and dont judge me to harshly) should I go thru with it ? should I run away and climb under a rock ? what should I do ?!!??!?!?! she want me to come visit Im afraid of what I might do when I am around her