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Loving my Married Cousin

Guest Lowfloor

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Guest Lowfloor

I am a single guy in Canada and travelled to Europe in February.. I met alot of my cousins there but there was one in particular that caught my eye. We had been chatting on a messenger service and we decided to hook up for lunch one day in Europe. We had a wonderful time and and we saw each other a couple more times. I invited her to come and visit me in Canada. She was having alot of issues with her husband and want to come on her own to visit me. During our talks on messenger we started to have mutual fun and really start to like each other and we fell in love with each other. We agreed on not getting carried away when she visited but when she arrived she was so gorgeous. We restrained for a couple of days. She wasnt feeling well one afternoon and was laying down. When I went to wake her up we talked and started to kiss. We didnt get intimate right away, but it felt so good and didnt want to stop. Over the next few days our feeling got stronger. We were both a little confused and we both felt a little guilty about her being married. We became more intimate over the next days. Today she returned to Europe and and we both hurt. I dont know if I should tell someone. I am so lonely without her. I have been divorced for 13 years and never had these feelings for anyone before. Are we treading on thin ice in having love feelings for my cousin. In some ways I dont give a crap what people think. Its my life and I love her more than anything. Please can someone tell me is it ok to be in love your cousin. Should I give up my happiness so I dont hurt my family? Ho wdo I approach my family and tell them that I love my cousin? Its so hard.

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  • Administrator

yes, you're treading on thin ice. actually, you treaded on it and fell right through. 

let me ask you something. what if you were married to her, and the romance had waned and you had begun taking each other for granted and were generally becoming less than satisfied in your marriage. now imagine that another cousin (or random stranger) came along and developed a close friendship with your wife. how would you feel about that?

and then what if your wife decided to take a trip without you and go stay with this other cousin or random stranger. would you be ok with that? would you trust that absolutely nothing was going to happen between them?

and if something did happen between them, how would you feel about that?

yes. it is ok to be in love with your cousin. but NO NO NO, it is NEVER ok to engage in ANY SORT of intimate relationship with a married woman. and by any sort i mean you screwed up the second you started talking to her about her marital woes.

i can't tell you how to approach your family. because frankly, you shouldn't. she's off limits. the two of you are about to rip this man's world to shreds. SHE needs to tell HIM... and then give him the option of whether to kick her to the curb or not. if he divorces her, THEN you have the right to go shout it from the rooftops if you want. just make sure you understand that the romance will one day wear off of your relationship too, and she's quite likely to do to you what she's doing to her husband. and before you try to blame it all on him (if you were going to), don't bother. no matter what he has done, it does not excuse her choices.

let me ask you something... are there children involved? please tell me there isn't.

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  • Moderator

If you have read through any of the posts on this site, you will quickly realize that having feelings for your cousin is something none of us will ever consider treading on this ice. You will also realize that we take marriage quite seriously here.  The real isuse, as Lady C pointed out, is that the gal you're involved with is married and off limits to you.

Your happiness is a not important at this juncture.  If she was free I would tell you to go for it and be happy with the woman you love.  However, she is not free to make any kind of comittment to you and you should be man enough not to encroach on her marriage.  You must stay away from her.  She has to decide which direction her marriage is going to take.

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