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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest johndoe888

Might be in love with my 2nd cousin, need advice

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Guest johndoe888

This has been bothering me for the last couple weeks, I have more than family like feelings for my second cousin. This is only the 2nd time we've been together in person, last time was 5 years ago, but we've kept in contact and have been close the whole time after we met. I am an American and she lives in Asia. I am now visiting again. The first time I met her there was some attraction but I was able to immediately brush it off and just told myself she's family, but this time is different. It is not lust, I cannot imagine myself doing anything sexual with her right now, but I long to be close with her all the time. In our culture family is very open to each other and I have formed great bonds with all of my cousins here, but there is something much stronger with her. I don't know what's going on, maybe I'm confusing this feeling for something else. I've even talked about trying to help her come to the US to work with me due to the extreme poverty and low wages in this country. We're both young adults now, she has a lot of love for me, but I don't know if it's the same as I feel for her. I think there's definitely a chance she could feel the same and just be brushing it off due to the fact that we're family. I am not trying to sound like a douche but I am decent looking and American which is what most girls over here love. it's much deeper than looks when it comes to her though, I genuinely care for and love her. I definitely don't want to say anything now and want to give it time to see if my feelings change. I would hate to ruin the relationship we have now and make things weird within the family. I'm sorry if this wasn't well written or thought out, it's late and I'm a bit drunk. But I feel much better letting this out. What should I do?

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Sounds like you already know what you want to do: take some time to see if your feelings change. That sounds like a good idea, especially since you've only spent time with her in person twice. Giving it more time will probably also give you a better idea of her feelings for you. If your feelings for her continue to grow, and she seems to have feelings for you as well, then you can decide when/how you want to approach her. You may also want to do some research on how consanguineous relationships are regarded in the culture she lives in, as that will  almost certainly influence her response.

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