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paragsinha3943

Going to tell my cousin sister

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Hello everyone, I am new here, never new these kind of forum does exist, or never cared. Why? never thought I will tell her.

I will go in detail, so  please give me some advice. I am 25 years old male, I love my 19 years old cousin sister, who is daughter of brother of my mother. This love is not like love at first sight, rather it is a slow process which developed from likeliness, to crush, to love, and now I think it will be very difficult for me to survive without her.

So, I finally decided to just get done with it, do or die, if she says she loves me too then its great, and if she says no, then its good too because atleast I can be practical and move on with it. I am waiting for the right moment to do it.

I have not told anyone yet, she will be the first to know it. So I will tell things that happens between us and why I think that there is slight chance that she likes me too. I will get into some little details, so you people can give me a better advice, please be patient, and read it fully. I will write in slight details, and in full details if there is good support for me.

So, how is it between us? Well as I already told she is six and half years younger than me. This gap is huge, but I am helpless, its not like I willingly selected her in my heart, it was not under my control. We are quiet frank with each other, there is almost no formality between us. We generally meet in family functions, so its not like we meet regularly. I met her last on 6-7 of this may, and before that on dec 16 and before that on july 16 and before that two times on april 16. There were also few times where we visit each others' house for few hours only. I can go on all night like this, but its like we meet only few times in a year, or sometimes only once or twice a year, all depends on the frequency of these family functions. Whenever or whereever we meet, from the last year, I feel like there is always some kind of emotional attachment not only from my side but her side too.

How she behaves towards me? Now this is the most complex thing I has ever witnessed in my life. Her behaviour towards me ranges from like, wants to be with me all time to extreme "dont care about me". Since we generally meet in family functions, we are generally very close during those days when we meet. Its like when she becomes free from family things, she always tries to come to me rather than going towards other cousin, tries to be with me, always asks me for something important, and always asks me for unimportant things too, sometimes it did clicked to my mind that she is just using me, but she is innocent type of girl, and she does anything I ask her as long as she can do it. These are the times where I believe that I am more than just elder cousin brother to her, but the nightmare starts after these family functions which is in next para.

So, what are these nightmares? Since texting or calling is the only way to be connected right now, we cousins, all of us never made a habit of calling needlessly, that lefts us with only texting. So texting is the biggest nightmare for me. She very rarely texts me in first place like Hi, how are you. Only texts when she needs some help or for telling some info or wishing something like friendship day. And even on top of that, bigger issue is that when I try to chat with her by texting her first, she rarely replies immediately. only replies immediately only when there is some work or family related texts, not on casual texts. And after some texting like 5-6 messages, always replies with conversation texts like "ok". Never tries to extend these texting. But if you people are going to say that she just doesnt like texting, the you are wrong. I have been with her a lot of times, and I have always seen her reply to her friends immediately, even though she is busy, so its not like that she just doesnt do texting, she just doesnt reply to me. She used to reply me a lot during nov 16 to jan 17 but I dont know what happened after that. I texted her on 11th may and still there is no reply, even though she comes online as seen from her "last seen on" or from status updates.

For all those who is not gonna read all these things, I am gonna write it in short. When we meet in family functions, there is always very positive response, but the moment we leave each other, there is almost next to none casual texting.

So please tell me, how to propose her, as I have decided to do it. And if you people want more details, I can narrate things in more details too, but first I am waiting for few helpful responses.

ONE THING, PLEASE HELP ME, I AM IN DIRE NEED ALL OF YOUR HELP, IT WILL REDUCE BURDEN IN MY HEART, ATLEAST HERE I CAN WRITE THINGS FREELY, PLEASEEEEE, PLEASE DO REPLY EVEN THOUGH IT IS A SMALL ONE.

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What country are you in? Also, when you say "propose", do you mean you are going to ask her to marry you, or just that you're going to tell her that you're interested in her?

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6 minutes ago, MissPrice said:

What country are you in? Also, when you say "propose", do you mean you are going to ask her to marry you, or just that you're going to tell her that you're interested in her?

Thanks for the reply, I am from India, right now propose means that I truly love her, but here where I live, if you say you truly love someone, it mostly means that you are going for marriage in future, but if you say you are interested, than its meaning differs obviously.

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Thanks for the clarification. Living in the US, I don't know much about how cousin relationships are regarded in India, or what culturally appropriate ways of telling someone you are in love with them would be. I will say that I think trying to decode someone's texting behavior will drive you crazy, no matter what culture you are in. There are too many reasons someone may/may not respond to try to interpret their feelings based on that. I would also definitely recommend searching these forums and reading other people's stories. It's certainly harder to figure out how to tell her that considering you see her so rarely, and harder to tell how she feels about you as well. I definitely wouldn't recommend telling her in a text though. :)

Good luck!

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9 hours ago, MissPrice said:

Thanks for the clarification. Living in the US, I don't know much about how cousin relationships are regarded in India, or what culturally appropriate ways of telling someone you are in love with them would be. I will say that I think trying to decode someone's texting behavior will drive you crazy, no matter what culture you are in. There are too many reasons someone may/may not respond to try to interpret their feelings based on that. I would also definitely recommend searching these forums and reading other people's stories. It's certainly harder to figure out how to tell her that considering you see her so rarely, and harder to tell how she feels about you as well. I definitely wouldn't recommend telling her in a text though. :)

Good luck!

Even though we meet only few times a year, we are very close to each other, only issue is texting, in which she  ignores me. But, yes decoding behaviour from texts is not possible.

Here in India, in some region it is strictly legal, and people do marry their cousins regularly. While in my region, its not prohibited, but is not in practice. So it is still to marry cousins but there is no rule against it. I know few relatives who married their cousin. So its all up to parents from both sides whether they agree with it or not.

And yes, I am never gonna sat to her in text, it will be face to face.

I always ask her to visit my home everyone we met, and she always answered that I visited on this date or that that date and countered me that you dont come to our house apart from family functions. But when I asked her to visit our house this may, she said, it was very heart touching for me. I will go in detail as it gives me happiness.

Since I live alone, not in my home town, I visit my home only in holidays. Her town is in between my work town and my home town. So when I asked her to visit my home, she said, next time when you are visiting your home town, just pick me from my place, and when you will leave, I will leave too. So I am planning to go to home for atleast a week or upto 10 days, so during these days I will try to analyse her feelings and if possible, say to her that I live her.

Please share your views

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Try to make it as simple as possible. Do not make her uncomfortable. Just tell her about your feelings casually so that the relation of friendship and that of being for each other remains intact. Talk to her about life and other important things about each other, and in between express how you feel. Give her time and space if she needs it.

I wish you all the luck. :)

Edited by samapartofamy

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