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By Unhappily lost
I've been in love with my cousin for almost 20 years, she used to act like she liked me too. But she really doesn't any more and I never see her. I'm too afraid to tell her, but I would if she ever asked. I know I'll never have her, and it really hurts. I don't, I can't shake the feelings. Everyday is misery.
My cousin and I, are in love! her husband of whom she is separated with now...is trying to keep the kids from her because he found out about us they live in Ohio where it is not legal. I live in Florida where it is legal. She can't move here for obvious reasons. ( the kids) I was going to move there but now she's afraid he's going to keep the kids from her and the kids love me and everything was fine until he found out. Her lawyer was telling her to stay away from me is there any type of action we can take or is there a lawyer out there in Ohio that would fight this issue. We don't necessarily need to be married but I at least want to live with her and still let her not be from her kids Please help me. Can we start a petition to make it legal in Ohio. She is my world, I cannot lose her. It had to become legal in some other state somehow what can we do??
My cousin isn't much expressive when it comes to his feelings. I can assume he likes me but not sure.
Talking about sex with him, it's very hot and passionate. We would always stare into each other's eyes the whole time we make love. He loves to pleasure me without asking for it in return and feels happy seeing me orgasm.
Even though I did an embarrassing thing while we were doing it, he still didn't find it bad. He just took me in his arms, kissed me and told me it's alright. One night when we were having sex he got on top of me holding me tightly in his arms and groaning sexily as I wrapped my arms and legs around him and pulled him close, there was an urgency in him where we were in that position. I once asked him why he wanted me that much that he couldn't think of any other girls. He replied "that's because it's you, silly".
The sex tells me his feelings for me runs deeper. What do you think?
OK for the sake of this post her name is going to be Sharkesha. I'm sorry this is long, but I need to express everything and I hope you guys understand and continue to still read it.
I really like my first cousin Sharkesha. She is so beautiful and adorable but she's 17 and I'm 24. We're cousins, so I don't want anything between us, no dating, no sex etc. We don't talk that much because she's shy. I do have immense paranoia though.
I really like Sharkesha and want to know if she likes me back. She lives on the other side of the country. Me and my family visit them and other relatives in California every year for a few weeks and everytime I just can't stop thinking about her.
I don't care if she likes me or not because we can't go out anyways. I just want to know if she does like me or not because it will ease my paranoia so much anytime I see her. If she likes me, I will always know that she likes me when we see each other. If she doesn't like me but just as a cousin, I'll will always know that which is perfectly fine.
Sharkesha is hella bipolar I feel. One day it seems like she likes me because one day she sometimes would look at me and then if I catch her, she'll immediately turn her head or eyes away but I only noticed it one night. Then the next day it would seem like she doesn't know I'm even there and her attitude seems like she's very tired or pissed off or depressed about something. I don't know.
How can I tell if she likes me?
I mean like one time they invited us to dinner at a nice place so I wore a dope red jeans with sick button down shirt and banging black shoes with nice hair style kind of. I walked out the car looking like a million bucks. I see her right outside the door of her car staring at me. IDK it felt like she saw what I was wearing and all that and thought in her head "damn he looks good." Im just assuming though. We walked over to them and we were giving our hugs and kisses as a way of greeting our relatives like we always do. It kind of did look like she was very excited to give me a hug then. She smiled and said "hey" as she gave me a hug with a little giggle like she normally does but with a little more giggle in it then normal. At the restaurant, Sharkesha wasn't directly in front of me sitting but off to the side where she was kind of the third wheel in the conversations me, my sisters and Sharkesha's brother were having. She couldn't really hear the conversation much. She would glance over at me a lot that night (the way I looked maybe? IDK). When I was talking, I would glance at her to let her know she's a part of the conversation and not a third wheel. Everytime I speak in general, to her or a group she's in, she would smile at me while listening but not 100% sure if she does it to others as well. I need to pay attention to that. She would laugh at some stupid things I say or do that not many would laugh at.
One more thing we did that I want to mention. They invited us to go to the beach for 2 days and stay at a hotel. I work out so I have some abs, so I'm looking my sexiest with wet hair and some muscle, lean, trunks on, shirtless (no I'm not narcissistic or anything) My goodness though, she is looking beautiful with her bathing suit and everything (OK I'm not a pedo or anything, she just looks so much more adorable and cute like in a highschool crush kind of way but in a bathing suit). I can't take it with her looking beautiful as ever not just at the pool but in general as well. We went to the pool and she looks a few times at me but I wasn't paying attention if she was looking at me in the crush kind of way but IDK. Me, Sharkesha and my sisters get into the pool and yes she's laughing at some dumb things I say and some things I'm doing. Also smiling as well whenever I'm talking or doing something directed at her. I still don't know but I swore I saw her as I was in the pool and she was laying out that she was secretly recording me but who knows.
The thing that worried me was we went to the ocean and decided to take a selfie with the family towards the end of the day. My face is not fully in the frame, so Sharkesha says a little loud but happily to me "get in the frame." as she says that she reaches over and pushes my shoulder (more like a long but quick tap) to get me closer to the camera. As she does that, she cuts herself off and stops talking while immediately moving her hand quickly from my shoulder area. We take the photo and she is almost dead silent the rest of the night. Her bipolar kicks in (not sure if she has it, I'm just assuming) and forgets I'm even there. She walks farthest away from everyone in front. She was doing that the whole night. Barley talking, waking farthest from everyone and seemed like she was depressed at certain times but was kind of hiding it I feel and in a rush when going back to hotel.
I don't know what's wrong with her. Maybe something is bothering her IDK. I feel like its me. Like right after the shoulder thing, bipolar kicks in. I mean yea, the bipolar happened before a few times but I don't know if she knows I like her or not but maybe that's bothering her, I don't know.
I need help. I really like her and want to know if she likes me. I can't tell. It was her birthday a week ago and I wrote on her facebook wall "Happy B-Day Sharkesha!!" she liked the comment and responded with "Thanks Chad ❤❤" I happen to upload a new profile picture that day which she liked right after she liked my Happy Birthday to her. The thing is, she never likes my facebook posts. I only get on facebook like once a month, not even sometimes because facebook is going downhill which is the reason my FB is not to engaging amongst others with likes and comments etc. but maybe that's besides the point I don't know.
Please help. Does she like me, does she not? Does she know I like her, does she not. Is nothing happening and I'm just thinking it is. What should I do? My paranoia with all this is making me depressed and thinking to much about her, I can't take it.