Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • KC

      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

      Be informed on better ways to stay safe on the web -- Source: Mozilla
paragsinha3943

Going to tell my cousin sister

Recommended Posts

Hello everyone, I am new here, never new these kind of forum does exist, or never cared. Why? never thought I will tell her.

I will go in detail, so  please give me some advice. I am 25 years old male, I love my 19 years old cousin sister, who is daughter of brother of my mother. This love is not like love at first sight, rather it is a slow process which developed from likeliness, to crush, to love, and now I think it will be very difficult for me to survive without her.

So, I finally decided to just get done with it, do or die, if she says she loves me too then its great, and if she says no, then its good too because atleast I can be practical and move on with it. I am waiting for the right moment to do it.

I have not told anyone yet, she will be the first to know it. So I will tell things that happens between us and why I think that there is slight chance that she likes me too. I will get into some little details, so you people can give me a better advice, please be patient, and read it fully. I will write in slight details, and in full details if there is good support for me.

So, how is it between us? Well as I already told she is six and half years younger than me. This gap is huge, but I am helpless, its not like I willingly selected her in my heart, it was not under my control. We are quiet frank with each other, there is almost no formality between us. We generally meet in family functions, so its not like we meet regularly. I met her last on 6-7 of this may, and before that on dec 16 and before that on july 16 and before that two times on april 16. There were also few times where we visit each others' house for few hours only. I can go on all night like this, but its like we meet only few times in a year, or sometimes only once or twice a year, all depends on the frequency of these family functions. Whenever or whereever we meet, from the last year, I feel like there is always some kind of emotional attachment not only from my side but her side too.

How she behaves towards me? Now this is the most complex thing I has ever witnessed in my life. Her behaviour towards me ranges from like, wants to be with me all time to extreme "dont care about me". Since we generally meet in family functions, we are generally very close during those days when we meet. Its like when she becomes free from family things, she always tries to come to me rather than going towards other cousin, tries to be with me, always asks me for something important, and always asks me for unimportant things too, sometimes it did clicked to my mind that she is just using me, but she is innocent type of girl, and she does anything I ask her as long as she can do it. These are the times where I believe that I am more than just elder cousin brother to her, but the nightmare starts after these family functions which is in next para.

So, what are these nightmares? Since texting or calling is the only way to be connected right now, we cousins, all of us never made a habit of calling needlessly, that lefts us with only texting. So texting is the biggest nightmare for me. She very rarely texts me in first place like Hi, how are you. Only texts when she needs some help or for telling some info or wishing something like friendship day. And even on top of that, bigger issue is that when I try to chat with her by texting her first, she rarely replies immediately. only replies immediately only when there is some work or family related texts, not on casual texts. And after some texting like 5-6 messages, always replies with conversation texts like "ok". Never tries to extend these texting. But if you people are going to say that she just doesnt like texting, the you are wrong. I have been with her a lot of times, and I have always seen her reply to her friends immediately, even though she is busy, so its not like that she just doesnt do texting, she just doesnt reply to me. She used to reply me a lot during nov 16 to jan 17 but I dont know what happened after that. I texted her on 11th may and still there is no reply, even though she comes online as seen from her "last seen on" or from status updates.

For all those who is not gonna read all these things, I am gonna write it in short. When we meet in family functions, there is always very positive response, but the moment we leave each other, there is almost next to none casual texting.

So please tell me, how to propose her, as I have decided to do it. And if you people want more details, I can narrate things in more details too, but first I am waiting for few helpful responses.

ONE THING, PLEASE HELP ME, I AM IN DIRE NEED ALL OF YOUR HELP, IT WILL REDUCE BURDEN IN MY HEART, ATLEAST HERE I CAN WRITE THINGS FREELY, PLEASEEEEE, PLEASE DO REPLY EVEN THOUGH IT IS A SMALL ONE.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What country are you in? Also, when you say "propose", do you mean you are going to ask her to marry you, or just that you're going to tell her that you're interested in her?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, MissPrice said:

What country are you in? Also, when you say "propose", do you mean you are going to ask her to marry you, or just that you're going to tell her that you're interested in her?

Thanks for the reply, I am from India, right now propose means that I truly love her, but here where I live, if you say you truly love someone, it mostly means that you are going for marriage in future, but if you say you are interested, than its meaning differs obviously.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the clarification. Living in the US, I don't know much about how cousin relationships are regarded in India, or what culturally appropriate ways of telling someone you are in love with them would be. I will say that I think trying to decode someone's texting behavior will drive you crazy, no matter what culture you are in. There are too many reasons someone may/may not respond to try to interpret their feelings based on that. I would also definitely recommend searching these forums and reading other people's stories. It's certainly harder to figure out how to tell her that considering you see her so rarely, and harder to tell how she feels about you as well. I definitely wouldn't recommend telling her in a text though. :)

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, MissPrice said:

Thanks for the clarification. Living in the US, I don't know much about how cousin relationships are regarded in India, or what culturally appropriate ways of telling someone you are in love with them would be. I will say that I think trying to decode someone's texting behavior will drive you crazy, no matter what culture you are in. There are too many reasons someone may/may not respond to try to interpret their feelings based on that. I would also definitely recommend searching these forums and reading other people's stories. It's certainly harder to figure out how to tell her that considering you see her so rarely, and harder to tell how she feels about you as well. I definitely wouldn't recommend telling her in a text though. :)

Good luck!

Even though we meet only few times a year, we are very close to each other, only issue is texting, in which she  ignores me. But, yes decoding behaviour from texts is not possible.

Here in India, in some region it is strictly legal, and people do marry their cousins regularly. While in my region, its not prohibited, but is not in practice. So it is still to marry cousins but there is no rule against it. I know few relatives who married their cousin. So its all up to parents from both sides whether they agree with it or not.

And yes, I am never gonna sat to her in text, it will be face to face.

I always ask her to visit my home everyone we met, and she always answered that I visited on this date or that that date and countered me that you dont come to our house apart from family functions. But when I asked her to visit our house this may, she said, it was very heart touching for me. I will go in detail as it gives me happiness.

Since I live alone, not in my home town, I visit my home only in holidays. Her town is in between my work town and my home town. So when I asked her to visit my home, she said, next time when you are visiting your home town, just pick me from my place, and when you will leave, I will leave too. So I am planning to go to home for atleast a week or upto 10 days, so during these days I will try to analyse her feelings and if possible, say to her that I live her.

Please share your views

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Try to make it as simple as possible. Do not make her uncomfortable. Just tell her about your feelings casually so that the relation of friendship and that of being for each other remains intact. Talk to her about life and other important things about each other, and in between express how you feel. Give her time and space if she needs it.

I wish you all the luck. :)

Edited by samapartofamy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Similar Content

    • By Alina
       My cousin and I, are in love! her husband of whom  she is separated with now...is trying to keep the kids from her because he found out about us they live in Ohio where it is not legal. I live in Florida where it is legal. She can't move here for obvious reasons. ( the kids)  I was going to move there but now she's afraid he's going to keep the kids from her and the kids love me  and everything was fine until he found out.  Her lawyer was telling her to stay away from me is there any type of action we can take or is there a lawyer out there in Ohio that would fight this issue. We don't necessarily need to be married but I at least want to live with her and still let her not be from her kids  Please help me. Can we start a petition to make it legal in Ohio. She is my world, I cannot lose her.  It had to become legal in some other state somehow what can we do??
    • By Emma_1
      My cousin isn't much expressive when it comes to his feelings. I can assume he likes me but not sure.
      Talking about sex with him, it's very hot and passionate. We would always stare into each other's eyes the whole time we make love. He loves to pleasure me without asking for it in return and feels happy seeing me orgasm. 
      Even though I did an embarrassing thing while we were doing it, he still didn't find it bad. He just took me in his arms, kissed me and told me it's alright. One night when we were having sex he got on top of me holding me tightly in his arms and groaning sexily as I wrapped my arms and legs around him and pulled him close, there was an urgency in him where we were in that position. I once asked him why he wanted me that much that he couldn't think of any other girls. He replied "that's because it's you, silly". 
      The sex tells me his feelings for me runs deeper. What do you think?
    • By Harambe
      OK for the sake of this post her name is going to be Sharkesha. I'm sorry this is long, but I need to express everything and I hope you guys understand and continue to still read it. 
      I really like my first cousin Sharkesha. She is so beautiful and adorable but she's 17 and I'm 24. We're cousins, so I don't want anything between us, no dating, no sex etc. We don't talk that much because she's shy. I do have immense paranoia though. 
      I really like Sharkesha and want to know if she likes me back. She lives on the other side of the country. Me and my family visit them and other relatives in California every year for a few weeks and everytime I just can't stop thinking about her. 
      I don't care if she likes me or not because we can't go out anyways. I just want to know if she does like me or not because it will ease my paranoia so much anytime I see her. If she likes me, I will always know that she likes me when we see each other. If she doesn't like me but just as a cousin, I'll will always know that which is perfectly fine. 
      Sharkesha is hella bipolar I feel. One day it seems like she likes me because one day she sometimes would look at me and then if I catch her, she'll immediately turn her head or eyes away but I only noticed it one night. Then the next day it would seem like she doesn't know I'm even there and her attitude seems like she's very tired or pissed off or depressed about something. I don't know. 
      How can I tell if she likes me? 
      I mean like one time they invited us to dinner at a nice place so I wore a dope red jeans with sick button down shirt and banging black shoes with nice hair style kind of. I walked out the car looking like a million bucks. I see her right outside the door of her car staring at me. IDK it felt like she saw what I was wearing and all that and thought in her head "damn he looks good." Im just assuming though. We walked over to them and we were giving our hugs and kisses as a way of greeting our relatives like we always do. It kind of did look like she was very excited to give me a hug then. She smiled and said "hey" as she gave me a hug with a little giggle like she normally does but with a little more giggle in it then normal. At the restaurant, Sharkesha wasn't directly in front of me sitting but off to the side where she was kind of the third wheel in the conversations me, my sisters and Sharkesha's brother were having. She couldn't really hear the conversation much. She would glance over at me a lot that night (the way I looked maybe? IDK). When I was talking, I would glance at her to let her know she's a part of the conversation and not a third wheel.  Everytime I speak in general, to her or a group she's in, she would smile at me while listening but not 100% sure if she does it to others as well. I need to pay attention to that. She would laugh at some stupid things I say or do that not many would laugh at. 
      One more thing we did that I want to mention. They invited us to go to the beach for 2 days and stay at a hotel. I work out so I have some abs, so I'm looking my sexiest with wet hair and some muscle, lean, trunks on, shirtless (no I'm not narcissistic or anything)  My goodness though, she is looking beautiful with her bathing suit and everything (OK I'm not a pedo or anything, she just looks so much more adorable and cute like in a highschool crush kind of way but in a bathing suit). I can't take it with her looking beautiful as ever not just at the pool but in general as well. We went to the pool and she looks a few times at me but I wasn't paying attention if she was looking at me in the crush kind of way but IDK. Me, Sharkesha and my sisters get into the pool and yes she's laughing at some dumb things I say and some things I'm doing. Also smiling as well whenever I'm talking or doing something directed at her. I still don't know but I swore I saw her as I was in the pool and she was laying out that she was secretly recording me but who knows. 
      The thing that worried me was we went to the ocean and decided to take a selfie with the family towards the end of the day. My face is not fully in the frame, so Sharkesha says a little loud but happily to me "get in the frame." as she says that she reaches over and pushes my shoulder (more like a long but quick tap) to get me closer to the camera. As she does that, she cuts herself off and stops talking while immediately moving her hand quickly from my shoulder area. We take the photo and she is almost dead silent the rest of the night. Her bipolar kicks in (not sure if she has it, I'm just assuming) and forgets I'm even there. She walks farthest away from everyone in front. She was doing that the whole night. Barley talking, waking farthest from everyone and seemed like she was depressed at certain times but was kind of hiding it I feel and in a rush when going back to hotel. 
      I don't know what's wrong with her. Maybe something is bothering her IDK. I feel like its me. Like right after the shoulder thing, bipolar kicks in. I mean yea, the bipolar happened before a few times but I don't know if she knows I like her or not but maybe that's bothering her, I don't know. 
      I need help. I really like her and want to know if she likes me. I can't tell. It was her birthday a week ago and I wrote on her facebook wall "Happy B-Day Sharkesha!!" she liked the comment and responded with "Thanks Chad ❤❤" I happen to upload a new profile picture that day which she liked right after she liked my Happy Birthday to her. The thing is, she never likes my facebook posts. I only get on facebook like once a month, not even sometimes because facebook is going downhill which is the reason my FB is not to engaging amongst others with likes and comments etc. but maybe that's besides the point I don't know. 
      Please help. Does she like me, does she not? Does she know I like her, does she not. Is nothing happening and I'm just thinking it is. What should I do? My paranoia with all this is making me depressed and thinking to much about her, I can't take it.
    • By kumar
      on my previous topic i told what had happened between me any my cousin 
      on short
      I'm 21 yr old male shes 19 yr old (my mothers younger sister's daughter) we had a spark between us for many years, we will always use physical contact to test our boundaries you know the usual accidental boob touch and butt squeeze/slapping , 2 months ago i visited her and we talked to a bit before leaving i asked for a hug and she hugged me the words "I love you" slipped out of my mouth there was a awkward silence for a moment, i panicked and wanted to do something to end the silence and suddenly slapped her butt(both sides), she told me not to touch her and i replied that if she didn't like it, she didn't answer that and again i asked that we used to touch each other all the time, she replied "that was when we were younger" (we used to do this kind of stuff on a monthly basis don't know what she meant by that) after that I wanted to change the topic and asked her to come to my house anytime she wanted,she replied "after 10 days i will because of work", after that on the same day i called her to see if she is still annoyed with me she talked normally, 4 days after that i found out she had blocked me on all social media, i thought she wanted time to process the things that happened and i gave her some space and time to time without wanting to disturbing her (its been 2 months since this happened),10 days ago i downloaded a random chat app and found she was in it, but i didn't want to disturb or annoy her further so i kept quite,4 days ago i found out that she also blocked me on that app too.
      what if she never wants to talk to me again? or she told her parents about what had happened?
      i really love her and I am sure that she has feelings for me as well.....I don't know what happened this time
      I really want to get back to her ,things between us are on and off most of the time but she always gets back but this time its taking too long I'm worried she might never want to be with me again
      additional information
      one of my older cousin (female) married her cousin (her father's older sister's son) if was months ago (our family circle accepts marriage's like this) that was the time when things started getting more serious between me and her but there is a problem our family circle accepts cross cousin relationships but sadly parallel cousin relationships are a taboo 
      we never really talked about our relationship or marriage we only used to do some physical contact stuff to each other (a lot!), i think i scared her off by telling that i love her or it could be the butt slapping thing i really don't know
      i haven't tried calling her out of fear 
      I'm arranging a get together with all the cousins and i really want her to come so i can talk with her (don't know how to invite her need any advice or help with on the invite plan) 
      I'm hoping that being with all the other cousins will ease her and make her more comfortable to talk with me 
      this is my plan so far (feel free to tell me if there is anything wrong with this idea or how to execute this plan) i really need all the help i can get, I don't want to lose her 
      i know most of you guys went through some kindof problems with your cousins before having a relationship with them so you know or kindof relate to what I'm going through right now please please try to help
       
       
×