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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Justaman    3

So last time I posted I wrote about how much in love I was with my cousin. That hasnt changed. I feel even more in love with her now. We talk quite a bit, I call her every morning to make sure she is awake in time, which means I get less sleep, but that's ok. I love hearing her voice every morning. 

Every so often when we talk she says that she is finding it less and less weird, like a relationship with me. She thought it was weird after we both talked about things. I feel like she gives me hope  that one day she will be fully ok with the two of us being together.

Ive been to see her 2 times since my last post. I love seeing her, and she likes seeing me. I surprised her this morning by showing up early and she was so excited. We spent part of the day together and we talked quite a bit. And then it happened. She said she had been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks. I died a little on the inside. 

Mat that moment I felt my heart stop. I tried to not let her see what I was feeling, and I think I did a great job hiding it, but I'm dying on the inside. I don't know what to think anymore. She gives me hope for months, she enjoys spending time with me, she acts like there will be a shot and now this. 

I think it's time to try and stop the way I feel. I love her so much, I'm in love with her, and how can you blame me? To me she is Perfect! I love everything about her and I would do anything to make her happy. And I think this is what I have to do to make her happy. I guess it's true what they say, if you love someone, you gotta let it go. 

 

I know now how I'm gonna feel, I'm gonna be devastated. It's gonna be some sad weeks to come, but it is what it is. I just gotta be strong and not let her see how I feel. I just gotta be strong. 

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MissPrice    19

Justaman, from an outside perspective, I have to say that it sounds like your cousin is stringing you along. It's flattering to know someone is in love with you, and if you call her every morning and she knows you love her, that has to be an ego boost for her, but clearly, she still feels free to pursue romantic relationships elsewhere.

I don't think you should try to hide it if what she's doing hurts you. You have every right to feel what you feel, and if she is as wonderful as you think she is, she'll respect your feelings and care about causing you pain, even if she doesn't love you the way you love her. On the other hand, no matter how much she cares about you, if you don't communicate what you are feeling, she is likely to trample all over your heart because she won't know how not to.

Best wishes!

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Justaman    3

MissPrice, She knows how I feel, I've never lied to her. And I know how she feels. She thinks it's weird. I told her that it's hurting too much to keep going the way I do, but at the same time, I am still always going to be there whenever she needs me. I'd rather her be happy and with someone else, than unhappy. Thank you for the advice. She isn't trying to trample over my heart, she genuinely cares for me and loves me, just not in the same way. 

 

 

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