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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Alicia

Dads are cousins and we're their kids...

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Guest Alicia   
Guest Alicia

Ok so we're less than a yes apart and we're we're brought up till 13 as cousins. One night kids being kids we experimented together. He left for 14 years and is back with only eyes for me.

come to find out I have strong feelings for him too. I'm trying to be logical but he's ready for marriage and kids and to tell everyone.

im terrified but cant stop thinking about him... no one to talk to please advise 

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MissPrice    19

I would recommend you poke around this site, and look at other people's experiences. Many of us on this site are happily in relationships with first cousins, a closer relationship than what you are considering. I don't think your marriage would be a legal issue anywhere in the world, and there shouldn't be any biological reason you couldn't have children, although you could always get genetic testing if you're concerned. Family dynamics can be a challenge, but you didn't mention being worried about that, and families usually learn to accept eventually.

There's no logical reason for you to be terrified, so if you are into him. give it a shot. ;) 

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Storm    0

My apologies for minimizing others. 

Im in a spot I need to talk about and have no one else... also I was raised army and he's a hippys kid. Both born on1983 and brought up together... we were each other's first.

I will poke around more I'm just so scared I think I'm going to push him away because I'm so needy for approval... 

33 years old and I just found out what love is...

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Storm    0

I'm sorry I understand my trouble are paper cuts to others. 

I don't know what I'm going to do but thank you for giving me perspective.... 😘👊🏾👍🏾

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MissPrice    19

I didn't mean to minimize your concerns either, and I hope it didn't sound that way. My point was just to let you know that you aren't alone, and that things can work out. When my cousin/husband and I first kissed (he was 33, I was 29), I didn't think there was any possibility of having a remotely normal relationship, but we do now, except it's incomparably better than any other relationship I've ever been in. I've been meaning for a while to write a post about some of the advantages of cousin relationships, something I think could be talked about more - things like levels of trust, being invested in the same family, stuff like that.

I get the insecurity thing though. For months I would randomly ask him "have I scared you away yet?" and sometimes he would go to work, or just into another aisle at the grocery store, and I would think "Welp, I imagined all of this. He was never here, or he's never coming back, or something, because this is obviously too good to be true."

Feel free to message me directly if you'd like to talk more, and best wishes!

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Serendipity    68

You might have the chance of a life time staring you straight in the face.  God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of of love, power and self-control.  Even if you don't adhere to the Christian scriptures, you must admit that these are powerful words to live by.

Any decision made out of fear will almost always lead to regret later in life.  Don't let that happen to you and don't miss out on what might be the love of your life because of fear.  

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