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Guest HeavyHeart

How do you find out if he feels the same way?!

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Guest HeavyHeart

I am a 30 year old woman, he is my 31 year old cousin. Old enough to know what you want in a partner, I'd like to think? He comes from a family of 7 (all boys) and being so close in age, we always tended to spend a great deal of time together. 

He's just had an accidental child with a girl he rebounded with too quickly after a failed marriage, the little boy is amazing! He loves his son to pieces, but not so much the gal. He seems unhappy. Unfullfilled in life, and holding on with SO much to give. He's smart, he's sensitve, responsible, creative, masculine, beautiful.. all the things. (*for instance: he taught me how to use the table saw in his garage, and then put all the scrap peices together in a super weird 'trophy' sanded, varnished, signed and dated, then presented it (sheepishly, I might add) for my birthday gift. Is this not love?!) 

We talk through the holy crapoly! life throws at you. I'm an ear he can bend anytime, and we rarely disagree on things. Our converstaions always in-depth and emotional, I see a side to him I don't think he lets others see. BUT, I wonder if i'm kidding myself.

Maybe these feelings I have are one sided. Maybe his heartbeat doesn't quicken when he sits near me, maybe he doesn't have these feelings of frustration when considering a life without me in it. 

For me, I feel invigorated at the thought of seeing him. I can't imagine a better man to spend my life with. No one (and i've seen much of the world and people in it) can stack up to the one man i've been secretly pining over since we were children. 

SO!

 

How do I know if he feels it too?

How do I ask without ruining a potential friendship, if thats all he sees me as?

 

I should mention too, our family is CLOSE. Every holiday, birthday, new birth, passing through town.. you name it, we celebrate it. And I know, there would be shame in admitting to being kissing cousins. Even if his feelings were to match my own, how do I let him know "hey, if you're not weird, i'm not weird"....

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i'm bumping this up for you. i've got insomnia so i'm awake, but i'm about to pull my salsa out of the canner and then go to bed. but i noticed it hadn't been responded to yet since i approved it, and figured it might need a little nudge.

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Oh wow... 

This is a very good thread. :)

First of all, Guestheavy heart, you may want to register to the forum so that you can see more of its priveleges and whatnot. But if you don't want to, that's okay either way...

Let me ask you one question first before I respond in length:

It is quite clear that you love with him, huh? :)

Pooch

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Dear HeavyHeart

I am a 35 year old man who always had a crush on my cuzin since we were 3 years old together.  Are parents called us kissing cousins the last time we had kissed we were both 12 years old. We live 10 hours away from each other growing up so we did not see each other that much. A few times in are teens she came down to stay with  us for a week to visit. My feelings for her were so strong I stayed away from her as much as I could because once we got close I thought she would be able to notice my heart beating out of my chest. We are both 35 years old now and about 6 months ago I get a call from her, she had a friend over and they were drinking so we all talked for awhile on facetime than when her friend went home she talked about wanting to come visit me but was not sure if she would be able to do what she really wanted to do. I replied what is it that you want to do?...  Than she finally confessed that she had always loved me more than a cousin should and would not be able to control herself if we were alone together. Hearing her say that was one of the best feeling I have ever had because it allowed me to finally have the courage to tell her I have been in love with her since we were 3 years old!!  It felt amazing knowing she felt the same way.  I understand your concern about what your family would think but with me I am at the point in my life that if it makes me happy I could care less what anyone thinks!!!!

My advice to you would be next time you are texting each other late at night bring up some old stories you remember doing with each other as kids playing, tell him as kids that you had a lil crush on him but did not know how to say it, wait for his response, I'm betting he will say he felt the same way. Than tell him the feeling has never went away. if you're nervous about sending that part soften it by saying sorry im a lil tipsy right now.....but it does feel amazing finally getting it off my chest.

I would bet everything I have that he feels the exact same way  because even before she confessed I always had a feeling she felt as I did and it turned out to be the case!

 

Let me know how it goes!!!

I am excited for you just knowing how good it felt for us :)

 

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